[paradiso2340]

Hi all,

I was wondering if any of you are experiencing something like this. I posted a few weeks back about obsessing about obsessing and although I feel I have some of that I feel like there is more to it. I feel like I have this constant thought in my head even though I am not so sure what it is. So even when I am trying to concentrate on something I always feel like there is something in my head and my mind keeps telling me "no you can't concentrate" and I keep trying to figure out my own mind even when I don't want to. It's like this bad habit that I've developed that I can not escape from because my OCD won't let me. In addition to this I feel like my violent thoughts have gone into overdrive as I am experiencing them in ways I haven't in the past. For example, if I am walking down the street and I see someone my mind will tell me "stab them." or the worst possible thought I can come up with at that moment. It's almost like my mind is in a contest to see what is the worst thought it can create. I don't feel like they are intrusive, but more like I am consciously and purposefully developing these which doesn't make me feel anxious, but more bothered that my mind will not stop. With traditional OCD they say that you have a "fear" of these thoughts, but I don't feel like that mostly just annoyed that my mind isn't like it used to. I feel like my obsessing about obsessing for so long has put this constant spotlight on my OCD all day long which lends itself to develop these bad thoughts because it's like I'm addicted to my obsessive mind. With this form of OCD I feel like just accepting it doesn't work as my OCD says "that's fine, you can accept it but I am still going to be here." So no matter what methods I use they aren't successful because my OCD finds a way around it. I feel so different from what I used to because of this. Any insights into this condition would be greatly appreciated.

[Travelinglady]

I am not familiar with this version of what might be OCD, but I strongly suggest you see a doctor about it. Your life would be so much better if your head could be cleared.

[sosally]

I feel the same way to a point. It's like my brain is fighting with itself. One moment I might think I'm doing better and then my brain says "no your not" and sends me an intrusive thought. I also feel obsessed with the OCD, always mentaly checking how I feel. Is the medicine working is it not working, is repeated over and over. I want to just be but it is always there.