[paradiso2340]

Hey All,

Ok, so I have been suffering from this bout of OCD/depression that came on a couple of months ago after not doing a compulsion. Basically, my mind told me to do a certain compulsion and if I didn't do it then I would be stuck with this "thought" forever. This "thought" was my typical intrusive thought that I always came back to if a compulsion wasn't done correctly. Anyway, this thought gradually just turned into this form of just thinking all the time about how I screwed myself up and how I feel so different from the way I use to. This led to feelings about being inherently bad, something is wrong with me, etc. I have used all sorts of strategies to help myself feel content in my own skin like I had in the past, but nothing seems to work. I am just so obsessed with myself and how I will never be the same way again. Even when I convince myself I am still the same, I still just feel different. I literally feel "trapped" by my own personality Along with this I just feel like my mind is just obsessing and obsessing, like I have been taken over by OCD. I just feel different from the way I use to, I can't even remember how I felt. Sometimes I tell myself that nothing has really changed, but in my heart and mind I know that what I am going through now is unlike anything I have experienced in the past and has been lasting for longer than it ever has before. Also, most of my compulsions have vanished since this, almost like I sacrificed my "old" mind for no compulsions. I just wish I could forget that this ever happened in the first place, which I know is not healthy, but I just get so desperate. I have made very little progress with my psychologist. Anyone have any ideas or thoughts? Thanks

[Travelinglady]

Hmmm. I know these compulsions are caused by something.....I don't understand why your psychologist doesn't have any insights into why you feel differently now that you can control them. Maybe because they were so much a part of your life?

What do you other folks think?