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#1
Jul 28, 2009, 01:17 PM
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So, my OCD is really getting bad.
I keep getting obsessive, bad thoughts. I feel like it's me thinking these things. Like I'm a bad, shallow, horrible, evil person. I have "confessed" 3 of these thoughts, but more are coming and they won't go away. I feel like I need to confess them for them to go away. But then more will come. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  OCD IS SO FRUSTRATING AND HORRIBLE!  WHY THE HECK DO I HAVE THIS STUPID ILLNESS/DISORDER?!  I HATE IT! What if I don't even have it?! What if it's just me?! I'm so bad.  URGH.   
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 ADHD1956
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#2
Jul 28, 2009, 08:07 PM
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You're not bad!
__________________
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#3
Jul 28, 2009, 08:27 PM
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Thank you.
I feel bad... I feel like this is me though... gah... I dunno what to do about this anymore... I dunno. I'm sorry... |
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#4
Jul 29, 2009, 09:07 AM
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My daughter has bad, intrusive thoughts with her OCD. She couldn't stop repeatiing F....K God" over and over again on one particular day. She was scared because no matter how much she tried blocking this thought out, it would get worse and worse. It went on the whole day and only stopped when she fell asleep. She was convinced that she's some evil monster, he psychologist questioned whether these thoughts were heard inside her head or whispered in her ear. Inside her head of course, is what she replied. She is meeting with the psychiatrist this week coming, I know he/she is going to try to convince her again to take medication although we were hoping therapy would work.
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#5
Jul 29, 2009, 05:29 PM
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I, too, hate the obsessive thoughts that enter my mind. They get stuck. I just wish it would all stop. It ruins the day. I understand what you going through. I hate OCD. We will conquer this. Don't give up. I am not.
__________________
He is still working me to make me what I ought to be... and does He have a job. Aunt Donna formerly faylowell  
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#6
Jul 29, 2009, 06:11 PM
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I don't even know if it is OCD anymore.
They are not just obsessive... they're so intrusive... they're so horrible... they're so torturing... they're evil... they're mean... I hate them... they make me so... I feel like I'm this bad person and that it's me... I don't even know anymore. |
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#7
Aug 07, 2009, 07:21 PM
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Hey pup. I have the same problem right now. Well really all the time. I don't really have any advice just letting you know you're not alone. Sometimes just knowing that is the best thing to help you feel better.
__________________
Dx: PTSD, Panic Disorder, Obsessive Personality Disorder. A Do Da Quantkeeah A-da-nv-do |
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#8
Aug 07, 2009, 07:50 PM
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Dear Pup,
You're not a bad person, I feel for you 
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#9
Aug 28, 2009, 04:09 PM
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Rossos,
Not to upset anyone, but you might want to put a trigger warning on your post- use the little red circle with the X in it. I used to have obsessive intrusive thoughts that I couldn't control- they'd come in and get stuck and would drive me nuts. And this was one of them. Back when I had a bad prob. with this, reading this would have gotten it stuck in my head like crazy. Even now, it wants to come through, but I am much more in control now so it's fine. Just thinking, it might trigger someone else. I actually read somewhere trying to block the thought, like your daughter did- which trust me, I did, too....I tried like crazy to thought block and it never worked- can actually make the thoughts worse. When you attach less importance to them, they seem to nag you less.
__________________
"....I've been treated so long as if I'm becoming untouchable. I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost killing hour, the sweet turning sour & untouchable....(portion omitted)....Do you remember the way that you touched me before, all the trembling sweetness I loved and adored? Your face saving promises whispered like prayers- I don't need them."- My Skin by Natalie Merchant. “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.”- Vincent Van Gogh ""Don't talk of worlds that never were. The end is all that's ever true."- Burn by the Cure "In the end only kindness matters."- Hands by Jewel Dragons-please click so they hatch and live!    
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#10
Aug 28, 2009, 04:40 PM
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...
Ok well this thread was originally by me, and people can probably tell it may be triggering due to the content and the title... |
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#11
Aug 29, 2009, 02:46 PM
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Quote:
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| Pup
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#12
Aug 30, 2009, 10:32 AM
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Guess that is true pup- I wasn't really thinking about the heading of the post being pretty self explanatory. I just saw the specific OCD mentioned later in the thread and since it is something I thought myself- I used to have the exact same repetition in my head- I just thought, wow, I was glad I am in control of the ocd now or that would have totally gotten into my head again. Not trying to upset anyone and not attacking anyone. Just saying, if you mention the exact phrase someone thinks, it could trigger, BUT I guess anyone takes a risk by just reading a post about "bad" obsessive thoughts, huh?
Anyway, I used to have bad obsessive thoughts a lot- I couldn't control them and they took over my brain. These days I get them randomly. We tend to obsess over things we fear. You are not a bad person. You don't LIKE these things....you FEAR or HATE them....that is why they get stuck in your head. I knew OCD was fear related, but I never understood why things got "stuck" in my head. I read just the other day that the orbital frontal cortex and the caudate nucleus reacted diff. in people with OCD. The caudate nucleus is involved with a person's ability to start and stop a thought or action. Apparently the abnormal reaction of our caudate nucleus' is what causes thoughts to become stuck. And fear makes it worse. The increased fear response in people with OCD, as well as the abnormality of this other brain mechanism that allows us to control our thoughts better, we end up obsessing over these bad thoughts because they represent things we fear. Then they branch into other fears- the fear that maybe we like these things or want these things to happen, maybe they will happen, maybe we would do them, maybe we are bad...... and these new fears as well as the original fear....feed the obsession and keep it coming back. It might have less power over you and come back less, and be easier to let go of these thoughts, once you realize, they have nothing to do with you being a bad person. You don't think these things out of desire, but out of fear, and out of a "start and stop" mechanism that doesn't work quite the way it's supposed to.
__________________
"....I've been treated so long as if I'm becoming untouchable. I'm a slow dying flower, in the frost killing hour, the sweet turning sour & untouchable....(portion omitted)....Do you remember the way that you touched me before, all the trembling sweetness I loved and adored? Your face saving promises whispered like prayers- I don't need them."- My Skin by Natalie Merchant. “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.”- Vincent Van Gogh ""Don't talk of worlds that never were. The end is all that's ever true."- Burn by the Cure "In the end only kindness matters."- Hands by Jewel Dragons-please click so they hatch and live!
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#13
Mar 12, 2013, 08:52 PM
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omg I am so glad I found this site I am having the worst thoughts ever This has been going on for sometime
now.. I suffer agorphobia but i dont believe that is what is causes this bad thoughts I want to tell my Doctor and Children But I am scared to death that they will think I am crazy.Do you think I also suffer ocd? Thanks so much for all your help and may GodBless you all 
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#14
Mar 13, 2013, 07:03 AM
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I'm sure you probably constantly wonder whether the thoughts are you or the OCD right? That's the entire principle of OCD, if you knew they were the OCD then you wouldn't have OCD. You then feel like a horrible person for thinking the things you do etc, even though you have no control. Put it this way, would you blame someone with Tourette's for having a tick? Or someone with Autism for not being able to empathise? I bet you wouldn't, and yet you blame yourself for something you have no control over. Simply put, people who don't have OCD don't have that type of guilt about not being able to control their thoughts that you do. Confessing is also a common OCD trait, I used to have it, but you just have to stop blaming it on yourself and give yourself more credit.
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#15
Mar 20, 2013, 04:03 PM
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My OCD has manifested itself in many different ways, including intrusive thoughts, and when I was having those, my therapist told me to remind myself that the thoughts weren't me, I wasn't a bad person, it was just my illness. I was taught not to block them, but just let them go. The thoughts weren't my fault, and they held no significance since they were merely a manifestation of my OCD, and there was no sense worrying about them. I'm a good person, and if my OCD tries to throw these intrusive thoughts at me to try to make me feel guilty and anxious, I should let them go. The thoughts weren't ME. They had nothing to do with ME and they didn't effect me as a person. They weren't MY fault. They were just my OCD.
As I told myself that when my intrusive thoughts, they started to decrease in intensity and frequency. I don't have them anymore.
__________________
I'm Jenna & I'm 16 years old. I'm currently undergoing treatment at a partial hospitalization program, for 6 hours everyday. The entire program is roughly 3 months long. Diagnoses: Bipolar II Disorder, GAD, OCD Meds: 50mg Pristiq, 50mg Seroquel, 600mg Lithium Previous Meds: 20mg Lexapro, 50mg Seroquel XR, 600mg Trileptal You woke up this morning with a heartbeat, and that should be reason enough to wake up again tomorrow. |
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#16
Mar 25, 2013, 12:01 AM
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i have this problem too, where i cant tell the difference ALOT between the real me and ocd. The two are so closely related, since my personality is obsessive too. So im just left feeling confused lot.
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#17
Mar 25, 2013, 03:42 AM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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