[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

So I have this thing about me where I obsess over everything. If something bad happens, something good happens or just in general I obsess and big time. When I was engaged I spent hours thinking about the wedding every day for the year of the engagement and that's all I thought about. When I had a seizure last year and got diagnosed with epilepsy in April it's all I can think about. No matter how hard I try not to think about things they are always at the front of my mind and my thoughts always go back to them. The same thing with my husband. From the time I met him I was obsessed wanting to see him every single day for hours every day. When I get a new electronic device I obsess over it, I obsess constantly. And now it's causing a issue in my marriage. My husband is afraid since I was diagnosed with epilepsy and I feel the need to talk about it but it scares him and he thinks I'm able to just stop thinking about it and move on and he's been getting annoyed with me talking about it so much. I don't know why I obsess like I do but apparently it's not normal and not healthy.

Another issue in general is I think way too much. I think about things constantly and when I do it's lately been about the epilepsy but I'm living in my head not the world around me. I'm always in my head which makes it difficult when I'm around people because I'm in deep thought all the time not hearing what everyone is saying and when I do I'm over analyzing everything in my head thinking people are annoyed and angry with me for some reason.

Is this unusual or unhealthy? Am I the only one who has this? Am I just over thinking again? Is 3 months of grieving and thinking after being diagnosed with epilepsy enough? Should I already be over it and not thinking about it so much?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

So I have this thing about me where I obsess over everything. If something bad happens, something good happens or just in general I obsess and big time. When I was engaged I spent hours thinking about the wedding every day for the year of the engagement and that's all I thought about. When I had a seizure last year and got diagnosed with epilepsy in April it's all I can think about. No matter how hard I try not to think about things they are always at the front of my mind and my thoughts always go back to them. The same thing with my husband. From the time I met him I was obsessed wanting to see him every single day for hours every day. When I get a new electronic device I obsess over it, I obsess constantly. And now it's causing a issue in my marriage. My husband is afraid since I was diagnosed with epilepsy and I feel the need to talk about it but it scares him and he thinks I'm able to just stop thinking about it and move on and he's been getting annoyed with me talking about it so much. I don't know why I obsess like I do but apparently it's not normal and not healthy.

Another issue in general is I think way too much. I think about things constantly and when I do it's lately been about the epilepsy but I'm living in my head not the world around me. I'm always in my head which makes it difficult when I'm around people because I'm in deep thought all the time not hearing what everyone is saying and when I do I'm over analyzing everything in my head thinking people are annoyed and angry with me for some reason.

Is this unusual or unhealthy? Am I the only one who has this? Am I just over thinking again? Is 3 months of grieving and thinking after being diagnosed with epilepsy enough? Should I already be over it and not thinking about it so much?

I wish I could answer these questions for you but unfortunately the only answer I can give you is that ....

is this unusual or unhealthy .....for some people its healthy for others its unhealthy

are you the only one who has this....no I know many people who do this and its completely normal for their culture, health, history....and I know others that it is unhealthy based on their cultures, health history....every location/culture/person has their own standard and level that is considered normal/healthy and whats not normal not healthy for them..

is three months of grieving and thinking after being diagnosed enough...I know some people who only grieve/think/worry about their diagnosis for only the amount of time that they are receiving their diagnosis and I know others that stay stuck in this area /frame of mind for many years. each person moves through each phase of being diagnosed and such in their own ways and stay in each phase for how ever long they need to.

should you be over it and not thinking about it so much....only you can answer that because its you that has received the diagnosis.

my suggestion as always is that only you and your treatment providers can say what is healthy for you and what isnt. maybe you can find a way to talk with them about this and if you and your treatment providers decide this isnt healthy for you, they may know of ways to get you moving forwards again towards things you and they consider to be more positive healing for you.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I brought this up with my therapist in session Tuesday. I see now why this was moved to the OCD section. I was diagnosed as a young teen with OCD but never believed it because I don't have many compulsions, unless its about religion or food contamination. You should see me cook chicken, I wash and wash and wash, wash the soap, wash my hands, wash the faucet knobs then get bugged out that the bits of chicken blood microscopic on my hand contaminated the soap because I touched the soap before washing my hands. So I go back and forth washing my hands and washing the soap 5 times each time. 5 isn't a special number but in my mind if I do it 5 times I will be clean.
My therapist had his suspicions apparently because of my religious issues, I feel like I may go to hell if I don't do every thing the bible says, like covering my head when I pray, sleeping in my bed with my husband when I'm on my menstrual cycle etc. I'm Christian so this is apparently a bit excessive.
We are going to start working on it in my next session. I don't know how this works but hopefully it will help all my anxiety issues

[shikantaza]

Hi Purple,

Your type thinking is normal for the most part, all people ruminate, but the over obsessiveness is neurological dysfunction that comes along with epilepsy and kindling. I have epilepsy too and for me obsessive thought ruminations have been part of the deal for a long time. The way I deal with it is knowing that it is brain dysfunction and then I can create some spaciousness around the thoughts and not be so attached to them - this is a hugely important technique. Several years ago I really got into meditation and found it the most effective way to re-train my mind (I'm a huge believer in neuroplasticity). There are quite a few good books out there on specific techniques, this works for me as I'm really not into the psychiatrist medication deal and prefer a more healthy natural holistic approach. Beings your mind is "set" so to speak for rumination, you can supplant healthier thoughts or actions rather than ones that tend to disturb. I've found tunes work for me - an earworm, which is still annoying as hell but much better than the same stinking disturbing looped obsessive thought. When I want to stop the thoughts, I can meditate and bring it to a halt. Takes lots of practice and patience but in the end works wonders.

Best of Luck!!