Big OCD episode!!

I'm having a really bad time today. I went to the doctor this morning for my annual Asthma check-up. This is difficult enough as I am hugely anxious just having to visit the doctors because of what I fear catching from the other patients in the waiting room.

The nurse who saw me opened several doors (the doorhandles of which must have been touched by many sick patients) and then was typing into her computer. Then she asked me to blow into a peak-flow meter and she attached the nozzle with her hands, unwashed and un-gloved!!

Ever since that instant my mind has been inundated with intrusions and the anxiety is overwhelming. I rushed home and washed my mouth out with several bottles of mineral water, but despite this I haven't been able to bring myself to swallow my saliva! I know it's disgusting and i'm ashamed to even write it, but I have been spitting into my jumper and at home into a tissue for the past 4 hours!

I'm desperately thirsty but can't bring myself to drink anything as my mouth still feels contaminated. This is a living hell. The most irrational thing of all is that my intrusive thoughts are about my already having contracted some sort of illness from the germs on her hands, and yet I still feel I need to avoid swallowing etc to prevent myself from getting ill. Madness.

sorry it's so bad for you

sounds like the day from hell

how are you doing this evening?

any better?