[atomicc]

Does anyone else experience this? My violent thoughts towards myself and others are so anxiety provoking during the day. When I'm laying in my bed at night sometimes the only thing that soothes me is the thought of a bunch of knifes running all over my body or something else ridiculously violent. At night it's only towards myself I have these thoughts but the repetitiveness and stability of the thoughts calm me and put me to sleep. Does anyone else experience this? Maybe because I'm actually allowing my thoughts to come and not trying to stop them like when I'm around other people they have a calming effect.

[Moveface]

I think it's the aspect that at that point it time it's physically impossible for those intrusive thoughts to come true.

At night when I'm alone, the intrusive thoughts (whether they be about stabbing, strangling, etc) aren't a bother simply because I'm alone. Sometimes I even welcome them. At that moment there's no one to hurt. Put me in a public place where many of those thoughts can be acted upon, and we have a problem.

Some days when I'm depressed or angry, I simply don't care about my life. On those days I might as well not have OCD, simply because I let the thoughts run rampant, not caring if I arbitrarily stab someone with my pencil.