[neutrino]

At my therapy session today my therapist and I talked a bit about some intrusive thoughts I have. Mainly the intrusive thoughts I have about faking/lying/exaggerating things I say or do. I fear that I'm lying and making things up and then I tend to go through memories, conversations and past events repeatedly to make sure that I've told no lies. My therapist says that's OCD.

He told me to say "I'm lying" or "I'm a liar" every time those thoughts enter my mind and to stop there and not try to prove to myself that I'm not a liar. He said he wanted me to tell myself that I'm a liar over and over and over again without thinking things like "no I'm not" etc. He said to do so until the thoughts lose their meaning or something.

I'm going to try it but it sounds a bit weird to me. Has your therapist suggested similar things to you? Is this the equivalent to people with for example intrusive thoughts about contamination (which I guess is a more "visible" symptom) not washing their hands when they feel like they're not clean? I've heard something about ERP. Is this it? Has it worked for you?

[TheNextOne]

Originally Posted by neutrino

At my therapy session today my therapist and I talked a bit about some intrusive thoughts I have. Mainly the intrusive thoughts I have about faking/lying/exaggerating things I say or do. I fear that I'm lying and making things up and then I tend to go through memories, conversations and past events repeatedly to make sure that I've told no lies. My therapist says that's OCD.

He told me to say "I'm lying" or "I'm a liar" every time those thoughts enter my mind and to stop there and not try to prove to myself that I'm not a liar. He said he wanted me to tell myself that I'm a liar over and over and over again without thinking things like "no I'm not" etc. He said to do so until the thoughts lose their meaning or something.

I'm going to try it but it sounds a bit weird to me. Has your therapist suggested similar things to you? Is this the equivalent to people with for example intrusive thoughts about contamination (which I guess is a more "visible" symptom) not washing their hands when they feel like they're not clean? I've heard something about ERP. Is this it? Has it worked for you?

I haven't been to therapy, but I remember when I had OCD the whole "false memories" thing happened with me and caused quite a few problems. Basically I would replay an event in my head over and over, questioning whether or not I did something negative. At times my OCD fabricated events/thoughts which I later believed, as in some cases I was able to go back and check objective data to find out that what actually happened contradicted the stuff my memory told me that I'd done.
It's problematic, but at the end of the day you have to trust the more reliable common ground, you know yourself well enough to know that you wouldn't do/think certain things. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. If you have to question whether or not you lied about something, then the odds are you didn't lie about it at all.

[neutrino]

Originally Posted by TheNextOne

I haven't been to therapy, but I remember when I had OCD the whole "false memories" thing happened with me and caused quite a few problems. Basically I would replay an event in my head over and over, questioning whether or not I did something negative. At times my OCD fabricated events/thoughts which I later believed, as in some cases I was able to go back and check objective data to find out that what actually happened contradicted the stuff my memory told me that I'd done.
It's problematic, but at the end of the day you have to trust the more reliable common ground, you know yourself well enough to know that you wouldn't do/think certain things. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. If you have to question whether or not you lied about something, then the odds are you didn't lie about it at all.

That's one of the things I worry about. That I've managed to fabricate memories and then managed to trick myself into believing them which leads to me lying about things (even though I wouldn't do it intentionally).

I know that thought's pretty irrational but I can't help but worrying about it anyway. So I guess it's good to try this ERP thing, though I'm quite confused about how to think. If I was to tell myself I'm a liar every time I start worrying about such things then I'd know I'd be lying to myself (because I know I'm not a liar even though my brain manages to make me doubt myself an awful lot), which would then lead to me saying things like "no I'm not" or "I'm a very honest person" or proving to myself I'm not. Do you know what I mean? It's a bit difficult to explain.

[TheNextOne]

Originally Posted by neutrino

If I was to tell myself I'm a liar every time I start worrying about such things then I'd know I'd be lying to myself (because I know I'm not a liar even though my brain manages to make me doubt myself an awful lot), which would then lead to me saying things like "no I'm not" or "I'm a very honest person" or proving to myself I'm not. Do you know what I mean? It's a bit difficult to explain.

One of the primary differences between typical people and people with OCD is that your average person doesn't commonly have an "amnesiac" type of memory. That is to say that they know when they do something wrong and can recall whether the memory is true or not. For example, I'm sure you can remember on a daily basis if you went to the shops or not and you are aware that it is true, you wouldn't sit there questioning it.

The element of uncertainty and questioning is a key principle of false memories due to the fact that your brain realizes that something doesn't add up/make sense. Thus, it begins questioning whether or not you thought/acted in an immoral way. It does this because your brain thinks "Hang on, I don't remember saying/thinking that about so and so....or did I?". The questioning aspect indicates that there is something wrong with the specific memory and in people with OCD this means that the memory is almost 100% certain to be false.

Thus, if you have to question the memory at all it's a key tipoff. I assure you as someone who doesn't have OCD symptoms or false memories anymore that I am never unsure whether I committed an act/ thought something or not. Whereas with OCD it used to happen constantly.

It makes perfect sense what you're saying, and all I can add is something that I remember someone once saying about OCD, which went something like this: "If you knew the memory was false then you wouldn't have OCD to begin with, would you?".
It is the questioning aspect that always drives someone with OCD and ultimately, the only way to really rid yourself of it is to stop questioning everything and just let go. This is usually incredibly difficult for someone with OCD, but is always the first footstep on the path to ridding yourself of it.