[ZenZeta]

Never heard of it until my shrink diagnosed me. It shed a lot of light on many things in my life, but I need to get rid of it.

I'm broke and can't afford to sit on a couch and talk about my feelings for hours anymore ( this blasted disorder has wreaked havoc on my work life) and I can't keep a job.

Can I CURE this? I am really not a fan of drug therapy (I don't want to pill pop like my psychotic step mom--she LIVES on Xanax) but I need to learn to relax so my perfectionism and up-tight ism stops getting me canned, I never get FIRED, I get laid off because I actually DO my job (probably better than most), but can't seem to gel with people.

I'm not a mean person (I don't think), but I don't see a need to socialize with co-workers. I try to play the corporate game and schmooze but I hate that crap, and I think it shows. I have a really hard time pretending to like something/someone when I don't.

I thrive on solitude and I am a comfortable happy introvert. How can someone like me who HATES to network and work with people ever get a job and keep it (I think other people find my attention to detail annoying).

I'm at my wit's end. I feel completely worthless without a job and I can't suffer the shame of yet another layoff.... any advice?

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

I have not been diagnosed as I my only evaluation was before 18. However, I truly believe I am OCPD. It can't be cured but it can be controlled and you can learn to relax. What has helped me is the decision to let it go when it has to do with other people. No matter how much I want, I can not control how other people are and act. And unfortunately humanity is NOT perfect. The other two things that have helped me is sertraline. Which is not a typical medication. It's something your body naturally produces and needs. And my husband. However I am very very far from being anything but myself. Which I like who I am. I think the only times you need to stop being you is in the workplace. Sacrifice what you know gets you fired and bite your tongue. You can rant and rave about it to yourself, your diary, or some angel if you have one that doesn't mind it, later. I'm really glad to know there's another person with OCPD I was feeling so so alone!