[speedbird]

For the past 6 or 7 years, one of my OCD obsessions was about fictional characters. I would get attracted to any fictional character that looks good, is intelligent, etc, and I will ACT like that person.

The problem is that in grade 10, I was attracted to only the bad fictional characters, ie those that bully other people, say bad things, and all that.

So I started acting like a bad person. And for a while, I alienated myself from two of my close friends, although we got better later on.

I'm better now, because I don't get obsessed with fictional characters anymore. I'm my own person, and I do my best to act like a good person.

I told my therapist all of this yesterday. She told me that I need to stop being so hard on myself, as I still think I'm a bad person at times. She told me that, in a way, I was a victim too, of OCD.

Who's the bad guy?

[riksie-dixie]

I'm leaning towards victim, for this one. Literally, you're the bad guy, but you did it due to a condition you can't control. Figuratively, OCD is the bad guy.

I agree with your therapist. If you're a good person now, it shouldn't matter how you were in the past. Leave the past behind you and create a new path to the future.

[speedbird]

Thanks for the reply. I want to create a new future...but I can't. I will explain why in another thread...