[antisocialbutterfly]

I know I get violent, intrusive thoughts, such as images of death/brutal scenarios happening to people but I've started to notice in myself things I do that are very constant.

1. I always check that my door is shut, I have a bird in my room and don't want the cats to get in, but I have to check ALL the time to the point where I'm confident it's shut. I always stand within eyeshot of the door before I leave the house, staring at it to confirm its shut and if I don't, I feel panicky like "what if the cats get in there and get my bird?" even if I'm just hopping in the shower, I poke my head out the door with a towel around me to check it constantly so that I am 100 percent sure.

2. If I get my hands slightly wet, even just a drop, I have to wash my entire hands and then dry them. I can't touch food with slightly wet hands, or I feel as if I'll contaminate it. Same with sleeves, if I get my sleeves slightly wet, I have to take it off because it feels 'filthy.'

3. I pick skin/scabs a lot. I got a really bad sunburn once from a trip to Fiji and I was peeling for months and I loved picking at the skin, even though it's really gross, I'd pick it until it was sore and red. I even pick loose skin near the nails which really hurts but satisfies me when it's out the way. I pick any scab I have until it bleeds and I like pick it when its dried up so it bleeds over and over again just because it feels satisfying (even though I have a blood phobia).

4. I pick at hairs, as well as my scalp which usually causes more hair to fallout. I like to run my fingers through my hair and get a loose bunch out every now and again, sometimes I rip strands out just to pick the dandruff (which I cause from picking my scalp) off the strands of hair. Picking my scalp is the worse, cause it just gets really greasy, but it feels good to me, I used to have it really bad to the point where I was just digging into my scalp and it left me with some sores which bled when I brushed my hair. I also pick at my eyebrow hairs which once left me with a thin bald line going through my brow.

[BeaFlower]

Yes, I think that it can be OCD...I understand how it is to feel in this way . Would you feel up to talking about it with a therapist?