[thickntired]

Hi

I've had OCD since I was 12 and it seems to come and go depending on my meds. My problem is I get soooo overwhelmed that I have to scrub down every crevice. A simple job like loading the dishwasher leads to me pulling every spice out of the cabinet and wiping them down. I also have adhd but on or off meds it's still a problem.

So, basically my house is a freaking mess. Piles of laundry on the couch, bags of mail that need to be filed, loads of pollen and dust on the tops of furniture and walls. You get the picture. The way I think is I've got to get this done until each room is hospital clean. Everywhere I look I'm making a longer mental check list. I think my problems include 1. Distractions like computer, tv or reading. 2. Perfectionism probably because my Mom is like Martha Stewart. My parents have a decorated home for entertaining and a maid & gardener. My husband is blue collar and drags in mud, paint, and sheet rock. He also doesn't take care of anything nice like furniture, pillows, bed linens etc.
3. Our house has horrid curb appeal. My husband is a contractor and doesn't have a separate shop. So our yard is riddled with paint buckets, wood planks, awful bushes in front, just a constant construction zone. I get so discouraged I think who cares about the inside when the outside is an eyesore! I don't have people over, and I prefer to meet so nobody sees the crap littering the yard. It's also hard knowing if I clean some places they'll just get trashed that night.

Sorry this is so very long

Take care

Tnt

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[Yoda]

That's gotta be frustrating.

[Faking sane]

I agree. It is exhausting, and so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture while dirt remains in a crevice.
I was brought up the same way... In a museum! I was the oldest... We're you? I think it affects us differently, as we are their first " failure" in that no child is perfect, but Lord do we try!!! The younger kids, not so much. In fact, I think my 12-years-younger sister goes out of her way to be a thorn in my mother's side!

And my husband is Los a slob. He doesn't realize that I cannot function in an area of visual chaos. It's sucks out my mojo and I feel overwhelmed. I think you and I will have a lot to throw back and forth. I'm trying to get over my social phobia so I can get back to therapy. Are you in therapy?

Sorry so short... 50th birthday party for a friend in an hour. Gotta get ready!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[thickntired]

Hi Faking Sane,

Thanks for your reply. That's funny you were going to a birthday party bc my birthday is 5-6. I don't feel comfortable with my parents at our house because I can't imagine what they're thinking. My mom is always like let me come measure your windows so I can make curtains. The down filled pillows she made my husband has ruined. He just looks at me like wth!? You can't explain that kind of thing to him. He would never ever spend the kind of money it would cost to buy them. I'm an only child due to a tragedy. My mom threw a fit when I didn't have kids. I knew that I had psych issues that would make that really hard. It's a little slack for you having siblings she can also light a fire under lol.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[thickntired]

Dang hit the reply button. Your husband probably is clueless a little too on how much it's infuriating to have to clean up after him like he's 5. I'm in therapy but I don't think she's very good. She tells me all the same ol same ol. No great earth shattering knowledge. I really dislike my pdoc but it's a must bc I'm on disability. I just got out of the psych ward where I asked an intake nurse, ER Dr and my pdoc for a hormone test. They all denied so I just had a test and I'm in menopause. Idiots! Social phobia is awful and I can really relate. I love to isolate. I'm in AA and after over a year I still hate going to mtgs lol. Good for you going to a party. That's progress. It's especially hard for me bc I quit drinking. Doing the party, bar or music scene is something I have to relearn. I also had to put distance from friends I was comfortable being around. I stay on the fringes of AA and don't do much socializing. It's really hard when many of the members have mild or no mental illnesses. Being sober has gotten me in the psych ward twice. I completely believe that for ppl without addictive personalities pot is the very best aid for anxiety and many other disorders. I never had this many problems until I got sober. Except maybe the clutter and dirt lol.

Take Care. Tnt ♡

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[AngstyLady]

Hmm, I think your husband could help out a bit more (to say the least).
Perhaps he doesn't know how much this all bothers you? If he could help contribute by organizing his own filth and not leaving stuff sprawled about and such, that would make things at least that much easier for you. As a loving life partner, he should be more understanding.

[thickntired]

Thank you, Angst Lady

Part of why I let him do his crap is bc I used to make a good salary and now I'm on disability. It just seems like a way I can contribute in a non financial sense. I have put him through quite a bit with my past break downs and addiction. But as I get my meds sorted and gain more sobriety I'm finding my voice so to speak. Also, my self esteem is on the low end after gaining a ton of weight on anti psychotic meds. It's something I notice all the time with people. As a person who has been thin and obese it's mind boggling the difference in respect. I feel the need to not make demands which is BS, but I catch myself falling into that role with help from society.

The funny thing is that when my husband does clean the kitchen I go behind him and re clean to my standards. Like I have different sponges for dishes and counter tops OCD type things that he'd never follow. I've never seen anyone put my effort into making dishes germ free. We have different coffee mugs, water glasses, hand towels even laundry detergent lol. That helps me sleep at night. But you have a very good point, and I should be more assertive. I have gotten better on cooking as in I'm no longer a short order cook to meet his nightly request. And it's leftovers or take your happy *** to Dennys.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[Fuzzybear]