[JessLynn]

I'm constantly worrying about the well being of my family. I could be having a quiet movie night at home and all of a sudden I start thinking about how this could be the last one and how I need to cherish every moment and make everything absolutely perfect. I make myself cry thinking about the fact that my family members could die tonight, tomorrow, next week. It could be anything.

I worry and I stress and it gets to the point where I feel like I have to spend every moment with them or I'm wasting my time and my potential future memories. I beat myself up for spending time on my own because this is a moment I can't get back with my family. I make myself feel sick over it, and I sometimes want to die so I don't have to be around when they do.

I find in times like this it gets overwhelming and I start to count in my head. 1234, 1234, 12. Five times in a row. Over and over until it feels okay.

I've overcome a lot of my OCD symptoms in the past and throughout my teen years (I'm almost 23 now) but sometimes they come creeping back, despite my medication.

Can anyone relate to this?

[kaliope]

i dont have ocd and i can relate to those thoughts. fortunately they dont overwhelm me as i am sure they do you. when i get obsessive thoughts i have a technique i use where i imagine a front and back door in my brain. the thoughts come in the front door and i only attach to them long enough to send them out the back door. sometimes over and over. but i dont pay attention to what they say or how they feel, i just escort them on through.

[Caveman]

Yes, I can relate. Altough I'm not a doctor I don't think that these thoughts and feelings relate to much to OCD, but OCD and or other diagnoses/syndromes might make these feelings feel more real and up close, thus being overwhelming. I get emotional very, very easy. If I listen to a sad song, I can cry and get depressed and after a few more songs I start thinking about suicide. I believe some syndromes may enforce any feelings that you/I feel to become stronger and overwhelming.

Often when I start thinking about my mom and dad, and I guess my two sisters, I feel guilty. Like I've done something and I need to make up to them. I start thinking about how they have raised me, and supported me my whole life, with love, help, food and money, and here I sit infront of my computer ignoring them, knowing that one day they are going to parish and die. It is very easy to forget how much your parents have done and been through for you, but when you get reminded of it I think you get a guilty feeling, among others, and they become stronger because of whatever syndrome/s the person has.

Anyways I hope what I've writen makes sense...

By the way, I like your quote in your signature.

[Turtlesoup]

Hi Jess-I certainly can relate to your feelings. I've went through periods where I worried obsessively about family friends & even their pets & have done a whole arsenal of weird compulsions. With a lot of support, kindness, therapy & hard work those issues are much smaller for me now. CBT has helped me a lot with my anxiety & OCD issues & also take Buspar twice daily. Take care

[BAZOOCA123]

I know the same feeling, it was worse when I was in school and away from my family during the day. I would cry and go into panic attacks almost everyday and would have to be drugged just to walk into the school door. It was very traumatic and being near a school today makes me panic. I would just sit and obsess about what my mom was doing and if it was safe, I always asked her to stay inside the house and lock all the doors until I got home and not to drive. Now that im homeschooled its not as bad because I with her everyday but when ever she has to go somewhere I always go with her because I fear for her safety.