[Numbed]

So, I just did this on another forum.
I found out about hyper-responsibility the other day.

Not been able to deal with it, because, well several reasons, but i'll keep it at distraction(ADHD let's say).

I think I started it mid 20s (late 20s now)
After consumed massive amount of information for personal growth, couldn't apply, decided shouldn't go to waste, so joined site and shared 4+ years of stuff I learnt.

I see a problem a question, my mind jumps straight on it, compulsion.
EVEN IF I don't know the topic, I have strong enough faith in my ability that I can figure it out as I go along(and a lot of the time I do and it's correct - i've been figuring out stuff my entire life for 2 or more reasons). Other times though, rewrite, take hours, and even up up deleting if don't like. Perfectionism ofc, and other stuff I just mentioned in thread below this one.

I use so much of my time, lose hours, half a day even 2 days sometimes, etc, doing stuff like this.

Compulsion also included seeing someone/profile, picked up immediatedly a problem (I'm INTP on MBTI) figuring out immediatedly a solution, and started emailing them... ofc I got abuse back, didn't understand at thetime, nor the 30th time after. (I do now).

This was like 4 years ago. Well since then mind and emotions got messed up with incompetent psychiatrist, which I may have writ about on this account (haven't been on in a while). Been recovering from that.

I also have been learning to open up, be vulnerable connect with my GF, and basically now I can express feelings (previously only anger) etc, have grown a lot, but problem is, my emotions are intense, 0-60, and now that I am connecting with other pain and sensitive to it.

I have:
Hyper-responsibility(OCD) - Feel bad if don't help, Worried will turn into pattern and I end up selfish/monster whatever. I'm someone who can help them (advice/help I give I make sure it's right/perfect) who else can?/knows what I do/who will. Rationalising/guilting self.
Compulsion of mind, problem solving, I just click, go, start typing,
Now I have extreme emotion which is released, I was hyper-sensitive before (which I was unaware of), and it was bad before, but this is what too much, I can admit that now.

I already bailed on one forum the other day for typing, not sure how long, but it was a lot of text. and it was to the whole community... (other INTPs), I probably was offensie/they reacted if feel i'm stepping on their values etc. (i've been learning a lot about personality etc lately)

I just kinda did it on another forum, but stopped self this time before it that long.
I was still over stepping boundaries though, not directly, but talking about a group like in 3rd party, when they would of/will see it. It was same problems talked about previous manic typ-a-thon, except I thought of something new, which I felt everyone should know about because information seems wrong/harmful etc,
I ended up linking mods and just say, I don't know if my functions are tricking me right now, (but it's the same thing that messed me up in childhood and caused CPTSD) but if this information is true, like to request a sticky etc.

After that, stopped for a moment, and accepted need to start dealing with this asap.

I know I have to break the patterns, and accept "can't help everyone, not responsible for", that is insanely difficult to except though, especially because of the raw emotions which have been locked up since childhood.

I'm not sure what to do about my habitual problem solving. I think it may be in part avoidance as well, which something else working on, ugh.

I also have no clue how i'm suppose to manage emotions that 0-60.
My old incompetent Psychiatrist told me "you need to control them"... no I supressed them my whole life.

Is there any way tamper them down, because they are overpowering and I have to clamp down to stop them, and it's taken me til 29 to open them up, after a life of numbness. I hope it's not just "will deal better with over time"

[Crazy Hitch]

Hang in there!

There's a lot going on here.

I am glad that you are receiving appropriate professional support with your psychiatrist though. That does help.

Your psyciatrist is right though - you do need to find some sort of way to control your emotions; healthy strategies for expressing, handling and managing these. A therapist may really be able to help you in this regard.

[Numbed]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

Hang in there!

There's a lot going on here.

I am glad that you are receiving appropriate professional support with your psychiatrist though. That does help.

Your psyciatrist is right though - you do need to find some sort of way to control your emotions; healthy strategies for expressing, handling and managing these. A therapist may really be able to help you in this regard.

Tell me about it
Yeah i've asked for talk therapy and CBT in the past, from my previous pdoc, but they were pretty useless (beyond). I have been thinking recently about getting back into art, writing and music to create an outlet for my emotions, it's incredibly difficult to start or keep up with something though with disorders reordering disorder. I'll take another attempt at these forms of expressions, thank you Hooligan