What is this? not sure where to post, i just need some help

Hello
I apologise if I am posting this in the wrong area, but I really don't know what category this would go in.

I'd just like some guidance or for someone to tell me they have experienced anything similar as im going through a difficult time with these feelings and behaviours. It's driving me crazy...

It started awhile ago when I was unsure about something and I started to assosciate my right hand and the number 2 with that thing I was unsure about. To me, that thing was bad, and I didn't want it. I'd go out my way to make sure when I was doing something it was with my left hand, or at least touch whatever I was doing with my left hand last. I know it sounds crazy

I couldn't have the number 2's being last in a sequence and I hated doing things twice, it had to be once or three times. Now it's escalated and it's everyday. I avoid things on the right, i have to look at the left side of things, I can't look at 2's or for example take the second can of coke, it has to be another.
Every night I have some crazy weird kinda ritual things I have to do. If I dont do them then I have this horrible feeling of uneasiness and I feel so uncomfortable, I almost always force myself to go and do it. I always say if I don't then I will have something bad happen, or my friends/family will suffer.
When I don't use my left hand for things its like I feel tainted.

I seriously want this to go away. It makes me feel like im completely crazy, because its so specific and weird... It manifested so quickly and now im afraid it'll never go away. Everyday I feel like im creating new behaviours to do, and I keep adding to the list.

Im sorry. I just needed to vent a little, everyone I talk to about this laughs at it because it sounds funny lol, I laugh as well because I dont want to sound weird.
I thought it sounded like it was ocd related but I was told by my family and friends that it wasn't. Im so lost thank you for reading.

Hi Lenozi. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are having challenges with some issues.

Glad you are part of our community. There are a lot of caring people here. Besides being an active participant in helping oneself at Psych Cental, many people also help support each other by replying to other people's posts. Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST and Anxiety Friday at 8PM.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

Hello. I am not a professional, and can not diagnose you with any mental illness. But this is my cup of tea.

It sounds like some type of OCD. You mention avoiding things because of this obsession with right and 2. This seems to be causing you distress a lot also. I would seek mental health services as soon as possible. If people are laughing at you for your troubles, don't listen to them about how you are wrong. Pursue help as soon as possible.

It sounds crazy to people with absolutely no experience with OCD because have no experience. I obsess with certain numbers like 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 10 as an example. I don't have anything bad about direction, but it doesn't mean it's not a real thing at all. I haven't heard that one though. You also mention performing rituals over this, which is a sign of OCD, especially if you don't want to do it. Please seek guidance. CBT is used to help OCD patients, specially exposure therapy. You have to get exposed to your fear slowing with guidance of a professional usually. Also, to help your overall health, try exercising, eating healthy, getting a good sleep, meditating, whatever works for you. I was recently diagnosed with OCD, and have live the troubles of OCD for years. I would have intrusive thoughts quite often. Recently, since I have been super stressed, hand-washing started to occur, which is what most people think of OCD, but that's not what it is. It's a lot more than that. If you have more questions, reply back or PM me. Welcome to PC and hope you find the help you need .

I just had my bipolar diagnosis changed to OCD and severe major depression, because I have repetitive thoughts and some are disturbing. My doctor put me on Luvox it is supposed to be one of the go to ssri's for OCD. To me it does sound like you may have OCD, I'm not a professional by any means, but I know in OCD it is very difficult to stop a thought pattern. From what I remember it is in the brain circuitry where signals keep repeating themselves, and normally after the person fulfills a task the brain receives the signal to stop via circuitry and certain brain chemicals being transmitted. In the case of OCD it is all different and message seems to go from the do to the done and back to the do and this can go on and on until...I don't know what stops this honestly. You can't really tell a person with OCD to stop doing this or that or stop obsessing it is the fault of the chemicals and transmitters in the brain.

I think that your family and friends are wrong. I'm pretty much 99.999999999% sure. In fact, I don't want to sound rude but I'm not sure that your family and friends even know what OCD is if they think you don't have OCD. I have been diagnosed with it myself and have read the symptoms numerous times on numerous different websites, and I think you have it and should see a doctor.

Anybody who laughs has nooooo idea how excruciating and debilitating OCD is. You deserve to get help and when you seek help, a professional will NOT laugh at you. It is a legitimate disorder.

Thank you everyone for responding
It has made me feel less embarrassed about this problem, and I feel I have more courage to actually seek help...
Thank you

I'm glad you are seeking help. I really hope you find the right diagnosis, along with a good mental health professional. I hope everyone's experiences may have helped you learn a bit more about yourself .