Late-onset OCD, or something else. Or nothing?

For the second time after describing my thoughts to someone, they questioned if I have a form of OCD. I'm starting to wonder about it.

Evidence for:
* Mainly, I am prone to obsessive thinking. I've had a variety mental fixations (including one that's overseen almost my entire life - only recently has it intensified) that trouble me, even to the point of self-harm. Past fixations included intrusive thoughts that I seem to have desensitized myself to such that I don't experience them anymore...

Evidence against:
* My fixations change, in topic and intensity. The ones that trouble me now are different from the ones I had a matter of months ago (which I had had for several years)
* My stress are not constant - in literature I've read about OCD, the anxiety is constant, triggers seen everywhere. I admit, I'm easily "triggered" into anger or anxiety or guilt by very minor things that normal people can just walk away from. Although, once my mind gets on a certain, "obsessive" topic, I can't stop thinking about it, and at times feel almost depersonalized (dissociated? I can't find the right word in correct context...like these are thoughts from another person, not me. But I know they're from me) from them.


Someone here gave me the Y-BCOS and the only ones I could kind of relate to were (not actually a trigger, just a "spoiler" to condense this post):

Hello. I would like to state that no one one here can diagnose you in any way. You should speak to a mental health professional about this.

My advice:

What type of obsessions? Many of things listed can be related to other disorders. I know some things on the Y-BCOS are starred because they are unsure if it's caused or related to OCD. Fear of doing something embarrassing is more social anxiety to me. Fear of losing things is related to AD/HD more than anything else. Checking for it again though is a symptom. Fear of saying certain things is an iffy one for me. The others are though.

Just to let you know, topics and intensities can switch though. When I'm stressed, my OCD is even worse than my social anxiety, which is abnormal for me. I used to just have checking-rechecking, but I now have handwashing. It's weird like that.

The obsessions have to be irrational, and if it is rational, then it is unlikely to be OCD. Like if you have to check a stove 44 times to make sure that your house doesn't burn down than that is OCD.

Again, I am not a professional, and if you are concerned, which to me you sound like you are, then talk to a mental health professional. Good luck .

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

I don't have OCD, but my husband and son have both struggled with it. This is what I've observed:

When my son was 14, he himself first realised he had OCD. He measured the distance each piece of furniture in his room was from the wall. If each piece of furniture wasn't exactly 6 inches from the wall he had to adjust the furniture. If you took one single step into his room, he had to vacuum the entire room.

When he had conversations with people at high school, he would write notes, to remind him of those conversations, because they might be important later. I found his little container full of notes. Incidentally, the notes didn't say anything particularly important or memorable. Stuff like: Ryan said he would was going to borrow a something from someone. The note content was completely unimportant.

My husband has circular thinking. If something is amiss, he will go around and around and around and around in a giant circle in his mind. He will replay the event leading to the circular thinking. It's as if he believes if he replays the event, he will find a solution (exit) out of the event. But the event is the event. It's already happened, there is no doorway to an alternative ending, no matter how long he replays the event in his head.

He also has OCD about throwing out things. I threw out three pieces of used duct tape he was saving, as it appeared to be garbage to me. This upset him, because he saw the three pieces of used duct tape as still being valuable. His brain does this to him. I saw used duct tape, he saw recyclable pieces of duct tape.

OCD can also come and go. My son eventually quite writing those notes to himself, so that lasted only about 2 months. Eventually he also quit measuring the distance between the wall and his furniture. He still has OCD, but it's very minor compared to when he was 14. He's now 25. I would classify him as "fussy" now, as opposed to OCD. He likes things a certain way, but I don't see him as having OCD so much now.

Meds didn't work for him. In fact, meds can make things worse. It doesn't mean you shouldn't consider meds. Some people really need them.

My son seemed to outgrow the worst part of his OCD, as I haven't told you absolutely every way his OCD manifested in his life. I just told you two examples.

My husband struggles with his OCD every day still. So he had to learn to try to override it. He realises now saving three pieces of used duct tape is an OCD thing. I mean, we have an entire role of duct tape, so we don't need to save three used pieces of duct tape (which probably aren't even sticky any more).

So, you might improve with time. Or you might struggle with it lifelong like my husband. Knowing that you have these issues is a great realisation though, because you can try to override it, which is what my husband does.

If I tell him we are going somewhere, he has to use the bathroom immediately before we leave, even if he just used the bathroom 5 minutes ago. If we go to the mall, he has to use the bathroom. He has to use the bathroom at every place we go to, every mall, every office, every place, every time. Even if we are leaving the house for only 30 minutes, he has to use the bathroom just before we go, "just in case." He sees a potential bathroom crisis. I see OCD about using the bathroom.

The thing is, this is all in their minds. Their minds do this to them. It's very difficult to trick the mind into stopping this stuff. But knowing you are experiencing it means you can seek help, try to over ride it, try to prevent it from getting worse.

Disassociation is much more serious issue. It can lead to harm to you and others. Hallucinations are cause for real concern. If you experience those things, you are looking at something much more serious than OCD. In that case, you would need to be under someone's care, perhaps with certain meds. This stuff is not to be taken lightly.

Seeing a professional and getting some feedback might ease your mind. But, some people are a great help and others not so much. So make sure you try more than one if you don't get the help you need from your first try.

Thanks claire, I forgot about this thread.

It's probably just me grasping at straws hoping there's something wrong with me, hoping to pathologize any thought I have to have an identity. I worry about random things for no reason but who doesn't? Thanks though.