Hard time making friends

Hi there,

I am new to this forum. Signed up because I seem to have such a hard time making friends. Anytime I seem to make a friend I ruin it by my constant anxiety and ocd. Which in return just makes me more depressed. I stated making new friends recently and in the lady several months but I have already ruined them by my ocd. I want to change this part of me. I am done doing this to myself. And I am so depressed right now and feel so alone. And like no one likes me and cares about me and this feeling sucks. On top of that, it's normally hard to find friends who have things in common with me as I am vegan for animals. Sigh.
But the one friend I did make who lives near me actually, I ruined that by ocd. :'(

I feel like I am so stupid and unlikable. But I guess I just need to be strong and take each day at a time and try and overcome these things and not let them ruin friendships anymore.

You know how you usually have that one friend who wants to spend time with you and they always make effort and initiate contact and you are their best friend and they are yours too? That's what I want and I feel like that will never ever happen. Or at least just a person who initiates contact a lot and enjoys hanging out with you and talks to you all the time. Cause I am always the one doing the initiating it seems. Maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I don't see how much of a mess I really am. I have such social anxiety around people and I mess up a lot when I talk. Idk my relative told me they think I have aspergers.... 0_0 whether it's true or not, I don't know. But I feel like I am so unlikable and it is so depressing. I have had major depression for years. And I've seen doctor's and therapists before. Ughhhh.

Why am I so unlikable to people? What can I do to make myself become the person that people want to be around?

Sorry for the post. I am not trying to seek any kind of attention. This is all how I feel and I joined here hoping to meet people who have issues like me or people who understand and are supportive.

You said you have depression a lot. Generally people who are depressed often tend to talk about really negative things and it can be a drain on friendships. First, I would address these problems with a psychiatrist to get treatment (if you aren't already). If you are already getting treatment, let the doctor know about your difficulty keeping friends and that you suspect it may be your OCD and depression standing in the way of friendships.

Of course, there is only so much that medication can do (and it sometimes takes time for meds to kick in), so being aware of your behavior is important. I would make a conscious effort to talk about positive things instead of negative things all the time. Ask your friends how they are doing, what they are happy/ excited about, ask them about their passions, etc. Make your conversations about them, even if you feel like crap. It will probably uplift your mood to be focused on someone else for a while. I am guilty of complaining too much from time to time (especially when I'm depressed or anxious), so I've started making a conscious effort so that conversations are not one-sided.

Maybe you could join a support group? That is a good way to meet people who deal with some of the same issues you have. It's hard to find people who understand mental illness. I find myself having to hold back my *true* feelings with most of my friends because I know people won't understand the depth of pain I deal with my OCD, bipolar, and anxiety. It sucks. I'm grateful I have my parents and sister to unload on when necessary. I try to keep that to a minimum, though.

P.S. Don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes people just suck. I have tons of friends but nobody calls me first. I always have to do the initiating. I blame the times we live in: everyone is glued to social networking, not REAL interaction.

find friends who has common interest like you . for example if you are a cat person you can make friend with another cat person by talking some cat related topics with them
people usually be friends with some one has a common interest with them

ppl don't like me or call me either... sorry don't have much encouragement to offer, but to say you are not alone.