[Doopa]

First, a little background. I am 18 and i have 2 older sisters, a younger brother, and a pair of parents. My mom was raised in a highly religious household, and her family was insane. Her parents hated her for being a girl, and her dad had some disorder where certain sounds drove him crazy. For as long as i can remember, my mom has been a little crazy about cleaning. She is always vaccuming, reorganizing the house, reorganizing the basement, dusting, or doing some other chore. She does not have a job (my dad makes enough to support all of us) or any hobbies or any social life. I think it is because she thinks if she stops for ever a second, dirt will pile to the ceiling. It has been getting worse in the last couple years. She has a psychologist and been diagnosed with ADHD (hyperactive, not inattentive) and is taking medicine for that as well as anxiety. She often tries to rope all of us into helping her. I love helping her out, but it gets to a point where we spend the entire day cleaning one room that is not even visibly messy, so i have been dreading it lately. She will spend upwards of 6 hours vaccuming just her room. She will spend 2 weeks reorganizing the basement. She is constantly swapping decorations and light fixtures. We have all been able to handle this in the past, but now it has gotten out of hand, now heres why i am here.
My mom will go from 6 am to 9 pm organizing, cleaning, ect. From the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed, she cant stop. Her hands are covered in blisters, she doesnt eat until right before bed, she barely goes shopping for groceries, and she has a small fuse when it comes to emotions. She is killing herself without realizing it. Today (the thing that sent us all over the edge to find help) she has been digging the rocks out of the front yard to sweep the dirt out, and sweeping dirt off the driveway. She is making sure to get in between the cracks of the cement to get every speck of dirt. I cant watch her do this to herself anymore. I need help for her.
Sidenote: she doesnt do the typical OCD things like constant hand-washing or touching things a certain number of times

[*Laurie*]

Oooh, your mom sounds very similar to the way my mom was when I was growing up many years ago.

Does her psychologist help at all? What about medication?

[Doopa]

Her psychologist doesnt seem to help. Her medication does a bit, but not nearly enough

Can you tell her you're worried about her?

[*Laurie*]

It sounds like she needs either a different med, or an additional med. And what Breadfish said...have you talked with your mom about your concern?

[Shazerac]

It does sound like she needs help. I suggest talking to her about it or have a family meeting. Also you are 18 years old and have the right to refuse to participate in her unreasonable cleaning behaviors. It's hard to stand up to a loved and say "No this is not rational and I'm not going to take part in it." It might get her attention.

[Doopa]

I have told her so many times that im worried about her. Ive told her she needs to stop and that all of this is completely unnecessary, but she insists it needs to be done for some inane reason

[Doopa]

What additional med do you think she needs? And ya, i have tried telling her im worried, but she always insists that what she is doing is necessary

[Doopa]

Ya. I think i may talk to my dad about a family merting. We all agree that what shes doing is bad for her so maybe they will agree to try and confront her

[Coerulescens]

What ended up happening? Are things better now? I'm so sorry to hear about that. I'd be so sad watching someone in my family go through that, it really does sound like her OCD is making her suffer, especially with the blisters on her hands, and just cleaning and cleaning unreasonably for hours.

OCD can be hard to deal with but it is not unbeatable. If she doesn't know she has it I think a diagnosis will help her confront it.

[Doopa]

Sorry, college has been crazy and ive had little internet time. Im not sure what has been going on, shes been back at home with the rest of the family so idk how shes doing right now. I want to try to get her diagnosed, but when i bring it up she gets offended and tells me that im just too "messy to understand" that she needs things spotless

[*Laurie*]

Yeah, she's really locked into her OCD.