[LovelyChantel]

So I remember the day it started. I was 11 I think. I remember asking my mother what these black bumps on my forehead were. I had 4 of them. She said, "Oh they're blackheads." and then showed me how to pop them. After that I would spend HOURS sometimes 4 or more in front of the mirror, sitting by cross-legged on the sink. I would use my finger mostly but also used tools such as tweezers. I am 25 now and it's gotten a lot better. Something I never thought was possible. I remember that it greatly improved once I left my parents' house for good. Where I was once spending 4+ hours a day to this ritualistic obsession I now spend maybe 30 mins to an hour and maybe only 7 days out of a month. I remember my parents used to mock and shame me and would stand outside the bathroom door banging it and telling me that I was making myself ugly. So when I would eventually leave the bethroom they would scrutinize my face and chest and tell me how disgusting it looked. Which only made me do it more intensely. Everyone always thought I had acne because that's what I told them as I was too ashamed. My parents didn't even try to help it understand. They said, "Just stop doing it. Why do you want to look hideous?" Hurt a lot. I still lie about he massive scarring in my chest when people ask. I just say I had chicken pox really bad (which I did) but it's not the real reason for my scarring. So ashamed. Thanks for having this place.

[LovelyChantel]

Did anyone else feel shamed for their derma? I have gotten such a better handle on it since I moved from my parents' house. Maybe that was a big trigger.

[Pastel Kitten]

I had it as a teenager. It was awful! I felt so disgusting but I couldn't stop. My parents didn't know what I was doing (lived with my mom at the time and she was never home) so thankfully I was never shamed for it and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's hard for other people to understand such powerful compulsions...

I'm really glad to hear it's since gotten a lot better for you. Mine has almost entirely disappeared. If I look in the mirror up close too long, I get similar urges - sometimes very intensely but I almost always can avoid it now when I remember the pain it used to bring.

[LovelyChantel]

Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten

I had it as a teenager. It was awful! I felt so disgusting but I couldn't stop. My parents didn't know what I was doing (lived with my mom at the time and she was never home) so thankfully I was never shamed for it and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's hard for other people to understand such powerful compulsions...

I'm really glad to hear it's since gotten a lot better for you. Mine has almost entirely disappeared. If I look in the mirror up close too long, I get similar urges - sometimes very intensely but I almost always can avoid it now when I remember the pain it used to bring.

I definitely still do it. But instead of spending 4+ hours every night I spend maybe 1 hour a few times a week. Sorry you can relate. My parents liked to shame me it seems. My mom does the same thing but whatever.

[OneInBillions]

I absolutely hate when anyone asks about my scars or, worse, an open sore that I've picked at. Typically I'll just say it's nothing and they usually don't pursue it any further, but the nosy people are the worst. I guess that's just part of my social phobia though.

I remember the day I started, too. I've always had this big, ugly mole right in the middle of my torso that I didn't like. So on a long ride to grandma's house when I was about 7 or 8, I began to pick at it under my shirt, thinking I could "take it off." It hurt but also felt good in a strange way. Of course I never got the thing off, and the scarring I caused itches like crazy sometimes. Later I picked open a blemish on my leg, and it just continued from there...

My parents didn't try to understand either. They always just told me to stop, even forcefully moved my hand away from the area they knew I was picking at. They never bothered to ask why I couldn't stop. But then they never recognized the depression or anxiety, either. Funny; I remember them always noticing and stopping me when I picked at church... Yet they never took my insistence that I didn't want to go anymore seriously.

[LovelyChantel]

Originally Posted by OneInBillions

I absolutely hate when anyone asks about my scars or, worse, an open sore that I've picked at. Typically I'll just say it's nothing and they usually don't pursue it any further, but the nosy people are the worst. I guess that's just part of my social phobia though.

I remember the day I started, too. I've always had this big, ugly mole right in the middle of my torso that I didn't like. So on a long ride to grandma's house when I was about 7 or 8, I began to pick at it under my shirt, thinking I could "take it off." It hurt but also felt good in a strange way. Of course I never got the thing off, and the scarring I caused itches like crazy sometimes. Later I picked open a blemish on my leg, and it just continued from there...

My parents didn't try to understand either. They always just told me to stop, even forcefully moved my hand away from the area they knew I was picking at. They never bothered to ask why I couldn't stop. But then they never recognized the depression or anxiety, either. Funny; I remember them always noticing and stopping me when I picked at church... Yet they never took my insistence that I didn't want to go anymore seriously.

Really sorry that happened. I can relate so much to what you have said here. Thanks for replying. You're not alone.

[TOgal]

Hi LovelyChantel, I also had my parents shame me a bit for all the picking I did. My husband says things about it too - he doesn't say I'm ugly or anything, he just tells me I should stop because it's "bad". I have a lot of scars on my face from it, but I have really good makeup so only those who are unlucky enough to see me without makeup know the truth lol. My mom actually hides her magnifying mirror when she knows I'll be visiting, because she knows I'll be in front of it for hours. Just like your mom, mine was also the first person to show me how to pick at my face too, and then would be mad at me for doing it myself. Oh moms..

I'm glad your doing better with yours, and not doing it as long or as often as before! Keep it up Hopefully I can follow your example!

[LovelyChantel]

Originally Posted by TOgal

Hi LovelyChantel, I also had my parents shame me a bit for all the picking I did. My husband says things about it too - he doesn't say I'm ugly or anything, he just tells me I should stop because it's "bad". I have a lot of scars on my face from it, but I have really good makeup so only those who are unlucky enough to see me without makeup know the truth lol. My mom actually hides her magnifying mirror when she knows I'll be visiting, because she knows I'll be in front of it for hours. Just like your mom, mine was also the first person to show me how to pick at my face too, and then would be mad at me for doing it myself. Oh moms..

I'm glad your doing better with yours, and not doing it as long or as often as before! Keep it up Hopefully I can follow your example!

Thanks the post! Support to you too.

[amyp300]

I have been a picker since I can remember. It started as a child, I'd bite my nails and the skin until they were tender and bled. I transitioned from that to biting the inside of my cheeks until they were raw, I still do it. Now I focus most of my picking on my face, constantly feeling my skin for imperfection and picking at it until it bleeds. It's driving my boyfriend crazy, he's started sleeping my hand away when he catches me. Probably for a year or so I have had a new obsession to add to the list, it started when I got my legs waxed for the first time, she used tweezers to pluck the stray hairs that didn't come out...from then on I have become obsessed with plucking the hair out of my legs. I do this at work all the time, I carry tweezers with me to the bathroom and will stay in there until someone bothers me or I need to do something. I can't explain the impulse and I don't know How to control it...

[Nike007]

Greetings. For me, I have a dry scalp, but it gets worse when I'm stressed. I picked at clumps, or even just the scalp when I'm stressed. I pick my scalp until it bleeds, and it leaves scabs. No one notices the scabs because it's on my scalp. But once I have scabs, I pick at them too. I have wanted to tell someone about it but it goes on and off depending on stress. I try cutting my nails, showering more often. It does get worse when I don't shower often. I try wearing a hat, but still will go at it. I feel ashamed about it too, but I guess since no one can see it, I'm luckier. My social anxiety would go off even more if i did that. I'm just embarrassed because I do it in front of people because I have the urge too. So yes, I'm ashamed. I wish I didn't do it.

Originally Posted by LovelyChantel

So I remember the day it started. I was 11 I think. I remember asking my mother what these black bumps on my forehead were. I had 4 of them. She said, "Oh they're blackheads." and then showed me how to pop them. After that I would spend HOURS sometimes 4 or more in front of the mirror, sitting by cross-legged on the sink. I would use my finger mostly but also used tools such as tweezers. I am 25 now and it's gotten a lot better. Something I never thought was possible. I remember that it greatly improved once I left my parents' house for good. Where I was once spending 4+ hours a day to this ritualistic obsession I now spend maybe 30 mins to an hour and maybe only 7 days out of a month. I remember my parents used to mock and shame me and would stand outside the bathroom door banging it and telling me that I was making myself ugly. So when I would eventually leave the bethroom they would scrutinize my face and chest and tell me how disgusting it looked. Which only made me do it more intensely. Everyone always thought I had acne because that's what I told them as I was too ashamed. My parents didn't even try to help it understand. They said, "Just stop doing it. Why do you want to look hideous?" Hurt a lot. I still lie about he massive scarring in my chest when people ask. I just say I had chicken pox really bad (which I did) but it's not the real reason for my scarring. So ashamed. Thanks for having this place.

I totally get this. I still squeeze blackheads to this day and I enjoy it. I don't know if it has a deep psychological meaning or not. Sometimes it is sore but it is a habit. I am always told I am making my face ugly but it's ugly anyway so spots don't matter. I put concealer on them anyway.

I'm more ashamed of squeezing my areola area on my breasts. I squeeze my chest too and it is covered in red marks. I'm single so it doesn't matter. I get white discharge from my areola area and this makes my boobs scabby. I worry about it. I'm not sure it's good for my breasts.

Right now I am doing a lot of it so I think it is a form of self harm. It is out of boredom too though. I don't have any reason to stop though and don't think I ever will.