[Aaron Hornback]

I used to have a conventional type of OCD, I used to believe if I didn't do things in 4's I would die in my sleep. After a few trips to the psychologists(Don't tell me to go back, I know I need to) I felt better. I realized that my compulsions were crazy and I got over them. But now they have come back, bigger than ever. I don't have rituals or bizarre behaviors but I play games with my mind, let
me explain. Before I do anything I will ask my mind if it is okay to do it, my mind will say I will be unsuccessful or I will be successful in my life if I do do it. If I do it anyways then I need to make up for it by doing some other kind thing, like give up do something I want in order to be successful in life again. I know it ridiculous but I have never heard of someone having this in there life before, I have gone all over the internet, I need help. I have gotten so used to this “game” sometimes it allows me to do things I actually want to do , like eat junk food, because if i don't’ I will be unsuccessful.

The reason I still believe in it is because no one has ever had it before, I feel like there is merit behind it.

Help Me.

Sorry for the poor gramar I actually excell at English but Im just a mess right now.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Aaron, Welcome to PC. I'm so sorry that you're battling with the misery that is OCD.

Actually, the OCD symptom you've described is not unusual. I tend to do something very similar.

What has worked best for me is just using my self-discipline and willpower to stop the 'magical thinking' OCD.

My husband has OCD that is quite severe. He was VERY reluctant to take medication, but finally is giving Zoloft a try, and it is helping take the edge off his OCD.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Aaron: I'm afraid I can't be of help with regard to your concerns. However I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Maven]

Welcome to the forums. Laurie is right. If you learn to ignore the thoughts, they will become weaker, and you'll find a more peaceful mind.