[-Astral-]

Today my great niece Charlotte was born she still at the hospital with her mum
her mum has a another little girl I have Harm OCD but am fine with the oldest one but i dont want to be left alone with her i am meant to be going up to her house to meet the new baby am so worried about this that am feeling sick my niece live on the top floor flat and it has balcony am worried ill throw her from it or out the window my husband know about my OCD and so does my niece i am not sure i can hold her am so scared that ill hurt her
my husband says i will not hurt her and that i'll be fine and said i dont have to hold her she is a small baby i dont want to do anything bad to her

i feel like i should stay away from her i want to hurt myself as well
but i have nothing to hurt myself with

The only way to overcome Harm OCD is to expose yourself to the situation that brings you fear, even if it's slowly. Start by holding the baby for small amounts of time, with supervision, then over time you will realize that you aren't going to harm this baby. Remember, these thoughts are merely thoughts, and do not make you a bad person for having them. Also when you have these thoughts, don't try to push them away as they will just come back stronger. Allow yourself to notice them, and allow them to flow by like a river. At first it will be difficult to do this but over time the thoughts won't hold power over you anymore.

[nicoleflynn]

No one knows (and you don't) if you will give in to those feelings. I would stay away from the baby and get help/therapy. Don't take a chance with the baby's life.

[Blaire]

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, I can only imagine how scary it is. Perhaps a therapist could help you do some exposure therapy in a safe setting.