[Maven]

I'm going to let everybody know the latest about my situation. Things have continually been bad, but I thought at certain moments things were looking up. Then my boyfriend went on his trip to Canada, and everything slid downhill. Financially, I'm struggling to get through the week on the money he left, which was less than half what I eat out on. I've had small meals from a convenience store. This week just happened to be my time of the month, too, which I don't need.

I've got a cat with four kittens, two outside, and two in our basement. They got stuck in there, but we got them free, except they don't want to go outside, or they do, but haven't figured out why I hold the door for them. They will come up the stairs for me, but I don't want them to run all over the house, at least until my boyfriend gets home, because I can't catch them. They won't let me let them or pick them up, but they will sniff at my fingers and meow at me. I make sure they're fed, of course. These are tiny kittens, maybe 6 or 7 weeks old. Their mama showed them where the basement window is, and they squeezed in.

Psychiatrist put me on Paxil instead of Clomipramine. Not noticing any difference yet.

The places I've called that specialize in OCD don't take Medicare, and one specifically told me they don't take any kind of insurance or have a sliding scale fee. Some people have given me listings for psychologists and clinics, but I've already been to several of those places. They just talk and have their nurse practitioner or doctor write prescriptions.

I'm as more to this update later. Just so depressed lately, and things were getting better, but now they're getting worse again.

[*Laurie*]

Thanks for your update, Maven. My heart hurts for you. (((HUG)))

[Maven]

I wish I could go somewhere far away and beautiful, near good people, yet with plenty of privacy for me.

My boyfriend says he's planning on getting me in a much better situation when he comes home... But I've heard that many times before.

[Maven]

Boyfriend comes home tonight. I'm broke, and will probably bounce my bank account. I said screw it to myself and bought ice cream I didn't even want with most of the last of my money. I should have gotten a simple chocolate-dipped cone instead of a large sundae. I ate about half.

Hope to make some calls tomorrow, hoping to find help, but I don't even know if I'll go out tomorrow. I'm so confused and indecisive. Just going through the motions.

[Blaire]

I hope you are doing well today. Sending you good vibes for strength and healing.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Have you ever looked into/considered a women's shelter? Not a homeless shelter, more toward abuse. I don't know if your boyfriend is abusive but surely there is some abuse (or maybe neglect is a better term) to leaving you in these living conditions without enough money for food? I hope I'm not way over the line, it's just what came to mind reading this: " I wish I could go somewhere far away and beautiful, near good people, yet with plenty of privacy for me."

[unaluna]

Im glad you updated us. Ive been wondering how you were doing

[Maven]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Have you ever looked into/considered a women's shelter? Not a homeless shelter, more toward abuse. I don't know if your boyfriend is abusive but surely there is some abuse (or maybe neglect is a better term) to leaving you in these living conditions without enough money for food? I hope I'm not way over the line, it's just what came to mind reading this: " I wish I could go somewhere far away and beautiful, near good people, yet with plenty of privacy for me."

I called a women's shelter, specifically for their program that teaches women how to manage their money and take care of themselves. I left a message, actually. I got a message back, and returned the call, but we still haven't reached each other at the same time.

[Maven]

I'm so depressed all the time. I've been staying home and sleeping all day more often (including today). My boyfriend is taking me to see War on the Planet of the Apes tomorrow, and I look forward to it, yet I dread having to get up and get ready, and then getting ready for bed when I come back.

I found two therapists who take Medicare and treat OCD, but only one contacted me so far (but I emailed them Thursday, so the other one still might email me back), but I made an appointment for August 8th. It would have been this week, but my car will be in for repairs, and I don't know when I'll get it back.

[Blaire]

I'm sorry you're struggling, but I'm glad to hear you have a lead on a therapist. I hope this person will be a good match for you.

[Maven]

So, now my car's in the shop because of a minor accident (but I got the worst damage) until next Tuesday (or that's when they hope to get it done), so I'm stuck at home, living in trash, unless my boyfriend can get off early sometimes during this week and take me out, but that's not likely. It's throwing off my eating and bathroom routines, and I spend most time in bed, trying to sleep, and my OCD is Hell. I'm used to eating around 4:00 or 5:00, but it'll be more like 9:00 or 10:00 until I get my car back. I'm getting some snacks (well, my boyfriend is) to help. All the way until next Tuesday. *Groan!*

I think I'll have to cancel my pdoc appointment (on the 31st), unless he'll do it over the phone (he usually will). I hope to get my Paxil increased. Maybe I'll call him tomorrow. Doctor has to be canceled, too.