The Humiliation of Trichotillomania

I have been struggling with Trichotillomania chronically for many years. I would pull out all of my eyebrows, eyelashes and head hair, in average it takes an hour, where I would pull them out in a trance-like state, because I would be so out of control. It was the only way that helped me to calm down and I often have left guilt ridden for losing my hair, to the point that I need to wear a synthetic wig every time I go outside. I would get humiliated publicly, especially when others are asking whether I was wearing a wig or not. I have also broken my record of pulling out my hair for six hours straight nonstop, just to have a sense of relief, but then immediate guilt came again, when I looked down to the ground with all the hair that fell off. I have spent a fortune just on wig care, hair regrowth products, makeups to cover up, hair extensions...

I live in humiliation everyday. I have been humiliated for most of my life and this disorder has been adding on top of what I have already suffered.

abusedtoy

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I have alopecia areata and I wear hats or scarves or caps when I go out. Would this be a possibility for you? I think (think, don't know for sure) people will be less likely to humiliate you, because rather than to disguise the problem with a wig, you're basically stating (through your head cover) "Yes I have a (lack-of-)hair problem, so what?" People are less likely to humiliate you if you "own" your problem. If people ask, I just say - depending on how accepting of my condition I'm feeling that day - that I don't have a lot of hair or that I'm partially bald. You could do the same. I do understand it can be really difficult if you don't have a lot of self-confidence.

Also, as for your eyebrows, can you have them tattooed on or permanent-make-upped on? It'll make it less obvious and/or return the "expression" to your face.

Also - and I DON'T mean this in a blaming or offensive way - are you BEING humiliated when people ask if you're wearing a wig, or are you FEELING humiliated? People can unintentionally cause you to feel humiliated. If they're pointing at you and saying "eh, eh, you're wearing a wig, aren't you?" you're probably being humiliated, but a honest "I notice something off about your hair, are you wearing a wig?" or even a less tactful "Are you wearing a wig?" isn't necessarily meant to be offensive, although it can feel truly humiliating.

(((Toy)))

I bought a wig in 2008 but I never had the confidence to wear it. It seems that finally I have escaped from further hair pulling (a few years without doing it now). But my lifetime of pulling it out has left me with very thin hair. It feels like only a few strands covering my scalp. I don't know how bald I am in back because I can't bring myself to look. And now a lot comes out again when I wash it and brush/comb it. It's a horrible compulsion. It used to be so consuming. You're so right about being in a trance, it used to calm me down too and I felt in a trance. I hope our hair gets thicker and some covering for the baldness grows.

Not to make light of this in any way, but I agree with the above poster. Hats are cool.

I have so much humiliation and shame. I've lost just about 3/4 of my hair and have to cover it in order to go out in public (It also makes the hair less accessible). I've only been pulling for 6 months, and I've already lost so much hair. I need help =(

Have you seen a doctor yet? They can help I think. There are meds for this issue, I'm pretty sure. If you only started about 6 months ago, it might be easier to quit now.