I feel there are hidden cameras in the room

Hey, I don't know if this is the correct subforum to post this on. If not, please move it.

Today I was alone at home (I live with my parents but they had gone to their friend's house) and I decided to masturbate. However, it hadn't even been 5 minutes since the moment I started and I began to 'feel' watched. I started to think my mother had installed hidden cameras in the room and she was watching me from her friend's house.
I knew this probably wasn't true, but it made me so anxious I had to stop, dress myself and look for cameras all over the walls and furniture. Then I called my T and told her I couldn't sleep so she recommended me a mindfulness guided meditation so I calmed down.

This isn't the first time this happens to me, it's happened a few times before.
Also, something similar happened the first time I had sexual contact (that was at my grandma's house and I thought my uncle had installed the cameras).
I also believed my mom had downloaded a KeyLogger to my laptop and would see everything I was doing when I was 11/12 and talked to my girlfriend at the time (we even invented new words so my mom wouldn't be able to understand).
When my grandfather died, I was around 10 and I thought he could read my mind when I fantasized about kissing the boy I liked - from heaven (I then became an atheist though and I don't believe this anymore) and I was very embarrassed.

My point is, I think this may only happen to me when I experience sexual behavior or intimacy.
I want to tell my therapist about these 'delusions' but I feel ashamed to tell her I masturbate.
Do you have any idea what this might be caused by? Any way to fix it?
How can I talk to my therapist about this without cringing and wanting to crawl into a hole?

PS: I've been seeing my T for 2 and a half years and I'm very comfortable mentioning almost every other topic in the world. We have a very good relationship.
Also, English isn't my first language. Sorry if I expressed myself incorrectly.

Hello Lulex: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm certainly no expert with regard to the sorts of things you're experiencing. But my thinking would be that what you're experiencing are perhaps bouts of paranoid-type thinking caused by temporary spikes in your level of anxiety... some related to sexual activity... others related to other sorts of things such as your grandfather dying.

Perhaps you are kind-of an anxious person anyway? But then, when you are in a situation that is anxiety-provoking for you, you have these spikes of anxiety & they in turn cause you to have temporary paranoid thoughts. At least this is my non-professional take (for what it's worth) on what you describe.

Here's a link to an "Ask the Therapist" column, from PsychCentral's archives, where a young person wrote expressing concern over experiencing mild paranoia. I've included it because I liked the reply the therapist wrote:

https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-the...ld-paranoia-2/

Also, on the assumption that what you are experiencing is perhaps related to anxiety, here are links to some articles on the subject of how to deal with it:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-prac...-anxious-mind/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-...ere-right-now/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-...s-for-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-tip...anage-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-smal...iety-symptoms/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to continue posting. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

does your family treats sex as a taboo/stigma? sometimes family doesnt treat sex as the natural thing it is and kids grow up scared/ashemed of doing and talking about it
my advice is: you can be scared and still do it, when it comes to your mind dont think just say it, you're therapist will treat it as the normal thing it is and will help you see the there's nothing to ba ashamed of,
hope you find the courage you need <3
and sorry if i said anything wrong

If you feel there is a hidden camera in your room, you can get a hidden camera detector. I browsed a little and found out there are many types of the detectors which can detect such undesirable bugs in your room. For more info visit https://secretstorages.com/best-hidd...era-detectors/ . They can be both wired as well as wireless.

I am sure alot of people masturbate and just dont say anything so I dont think your counselor would be surprised.

Lulex - im glad you brought this up, because i have often thought about it too, if certain people in heaven were watching me do certain things.

Now that you mention it, i hope 2 things:
1. That there are rules against doing certain things in heaven and
2. That there are more interesting things to do in heaven than to watch us doing certain things on earth!

That is actually not an unusal worry. My personal opinion is that heaven is different all of our earthly things stay here. Of course I dont know anything for sure.

I experience similar paranoid thoughts from time to time... I usually just try to convince myself that it's irrational. It prevents me from acting on the thoughts (but then again, maybe that means they were relatively mild anyways), but doesn't stop them from re-appearing in the future. So idk.

I hope you find something that works!