[3l14n3]

Is this still OCD or is it another thing? Has someone else experienced this?
*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*

Hi, so I just found this forum and wanted to ask some questions, but it’s kinda uncomfortable to talk about them and they are about sexuality...
I was wondering if this is not just P-OCD or any other type.
-Sometimes I have unwanted thoughts that appear suddenly in the most innapropiate moments (I don’t want to be too descriptive) and they involve kids or that’s what I think. Later after having them I feel really guilty and like a horrible person, because I don’t want to lose control of myself (it sounds weird)
-When I was a child I was kinda sexually active because I *tw*

masturbated myself a lot. And thought about sex.
And one of my fears is that my sister makes the same as me when I was her age, and she kinda does it (sorry if I say too much “kinda”)
She also masturbates when she’s watching TV in the living room and when she’s asleep and I feel like is my fault, maybe when I was doing it she saw or something, besides I still think I can have OCD because I feel really anxious, and I distant myself from other people especially kids, I always say I don’t like them but it’s really just because I’m afraid to hurt them.
-There’s a thread here that is very similar to my current situation, in this post someone asked if the person was sexually abused before, the person said yes and that maybe that was the cause of the thoughts but as far as I know I haven’t been abused in anyway.
-I get turned on in random occasions and it bothers me to the point where I try to hurt myself to not feel like that.
*tw*
-I fear that I can do something bad and inappropriate to animals: my pets and harm them or worse, I think it’s related to the fear of losing control.
-Another thing that I think is part from my OCD is that I don’t like to look at people or even breath close to them because I fear they may consider my actions as inappropriate or that I want to engage with them in sexual acts

Sorry if this was too long and if someone doesn’t understands but English is not my native language.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Honestly I don't know what this is all about. And I wouldn't even attempt to suggest what kind of diagnosis a mental health professional might give you. (By the way, my personal, non-professional opinion is that it's unlikely you caused your sister to start masturbating. Girls learn to do that perfectly well all on their own... just as boys do...)

I don't know if you see a mental health professional. But, from my perspective, that is what you need to be doing if you want to get to the bottom of what's going on with you... as much as is possible. It may be that all of this is simply something for which there is no explanation though. And, realistically, what you can hope to accomplish is not so much understanding why this developed but rather figuring out ways to cope with it successfully.

I myself am in that situation. I've fought a lifelong struggle with gender identity dysphoria along with a bunch of other stuff. I have no idea what caused me to have the problems I've had & no hope of ever understanding it. All I can do is to cope with it day-to-day.

You mentioned you sometimes hurt yourself because you get turned on & it bothers you. Plus you wrote that you fear you could do something bad or inappropriate to animals & you don't like to look at or breathe close to people for fear they may consider your actions as inappropriate or sexual. Clearly you are suffering with all of this. So I think that you really need to seek some kind of professional mental health services for this. I know you mentioned English is not your native language. I don't know where you live, of course, or what's available to you in terms of mental health services. But I believe mental health services are the way to go if you can access them.

I can't recall if I've replied to any of your previous posts or, if I did, if I mentioned the practice of compassionate abiding. It's not a cure. But it helps me to cope with my own intrusive thoughts. Here's a link to a description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

My best wishes to you...

[3l14n3]

Thank you, I think that you’ve answered some of my posts, thank you for all that I will see if I can see a mental health professional.
My best wishes to you as well you’ve helped me a lot