OCD Or Not?

It's ok at home until the cameras are there, but I realised something a few days ago that I wasn't sure about but now I know for sure
Outside is the worst because it could be anyone.

I can't get anyone to believe me though.
My psychologist does a bit and hopefully my nurse will when I tell her what happened to her.

Kureha,
What is it that you fear most?

I'm worried that no one is going to believe me at all - they already have some people not believing me.
They are trying to control what I think - but that can't happen when I'm inside.
Eventually they are going to try and kill me by giving me HIV - they're just waiting for the right time.

Kureha,

Sorry I didn't get back to this in so long.

What does them not believing you mean to you? What would happen if they didn't believe you?

Have you ever had a situation in the past where someone didn't believe you when you really needed them to believe you?

No problem

I haven't had a time when I needed someone to believe me and they didn't, well except now.

It just feels like because they don't - they aren't taking me seriously and I don't understand why they don't believe me

All they want is for me to take meds.

Kureha,

Have you ever thought of just doing a trial with the meds. If you don't like them then you don't have to take them. But you never know, you may find that they help you a ton.

As far as them believing you; unfortunately, you can't make people believe you. It's just something you are going to have to reckon with for yourself.
What you are describing to them is unrealistic to them, as that stuff has never happened before so it's only natural for them not to believe it. If you look at it from their standpoint.

Since they have witnessed things like that with people before only different circumstances they understand how that works and only want to help.

I know it's hard to give into them so to speak, but I promise you they are not out to get yet. You will probably find great relief if you just try what they are suggesting. It really can't hurt, your still in control and in time if you don't like it you can let your psychologist know. The thing you really need to know is that you are in control and will continue to remain in control. You choose to try the meds and you can also choose to stop them.

Hiya,

I saw my nurse today - she spent most of the time trying to tell me why I should take my meds, I had reasons why I didn't need to take them. They were just about forcing me to take them.

I think they might think I'm lying now, but I wasn't 100% sure about what I was thinking - so I wasn't saying it was definitely like that.
They still don't believe the other stuff though - like something they said today - I think they think that I don't know what is real and what isn't - of course I do.

I'm really confused with it all.