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#1
May 09, 2009, 01:11 AM
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I can't stand me any longer
I keep going through these cycles of extreme mania, where I feel destructive and just want to destroy myself or something, a good way to put this is running down the street screaming with a blindfold on. This is night two of this mania, I can't sleep, my body is screaming at me, I ache, and I"m a prisoner of my own damn mind, I"ll crash here in about an hour and be nothing but a sobbing pile on my bed depressed as hell. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS MADNESS ANY LONGER!!!!!! I would love to just ram myself repediativly into the wall while screaming at the top of my lungs, then collapse in a heap in the floor laughing manically. sombody please..help me..I'm a danger to myself...as usual.... |
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#2
May 09, 2009, 06:57 AM
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Quote:
It took me a long time (all the way through school, and then some!) to notice that beating myself up never motivated me to do any better but did make it a lot harder to see what was going on -- or to get anything done, period. YMMV. I'm picturing you flapping against the glass when what you really need is to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, collect your wits and find the open window.  --------------------------- So I said to myself, I said, "Self..." |
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#3
May 09, 2009, 01:52 PM
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I think that you should be giving the Dr. a call, or maybe you should go to the ER.
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#4
May 09, 2009, 02:01 PM
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Please call a hotline or go to the hospital if you cannot keep yourself safe. Please take gentle care. We care about you.
__________________
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#5
May 10, 2009, 04:11 AM
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Gentle and caring hugs to all
I made it okay, I couldn't bring myself to go to the ER, but I did call a friend and he kept me safe, and stayed on the phone with me till I went to sleep. I'm feeling much better now, I just have started here in the past few years to start having these very destructive manic episodes, I don't know where they come from or why the happend but they do, and I am going to bring them up to my therapist this thursday peace to all Sparrow |
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#6
May 10, 2009, 05:29 PM
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Silversparrow,
Glad you came through that okay, with a little help from a friend.  Your first post sounded to me like what you were feeling was anger. I could be totally wrong of course. But just reading that post, it sounded like anger that you either can not express specifically or else are not aware you are feeling.
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free. But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings."
Last edited by Pomegranate; May 10, 2009 at 05:31 PM. Reason: Clarity |
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#7
May 10, 2009, 08:57 PM
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(((Silver))) I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now I hope that your therapist has the answers you need.
__________________
I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children. |
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