[cocoa]

Heres my problem!

I started a new job a fue weeks ago at a Guest Home, working with the sick and elderly. I think i've found my calling because I love working and helping others and I enjoy working and spending time with sick older people. I'm doing real well and all the older fokes seem to enjoy their time with me. Sooooo

I have Bipolar. Dignosed 10 or more years ago. I've learned a lot over the years on how to deal with my problems an keep this information to myself. Its not like I take problems to work and no one could ever guess i'm dealing with a mental illness. Its well under control and if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to work anyway.

Being a mental health site, I know a lot of us are dealing with various problems and mental isuess. I have learned from expereance in my personal life as well as professional that revealing my illness creats problems . Some people are to quick to judge or just think am going to go nuts on their head just because I have a mental illness. As you probably know, its these kinds of people who think mental illness is just another word for "CRAZY PERSON "

I love my work but I have this feeling of fear. I don't want to share this information because the second I do, I will be wearing a lable. I want to be judged by who I am and my work ability and not my Bipolar Illness.

I don't feel its anyones business but my own, But I can't shake the feeling that I have this secret.

What would you do?

Jacqui

[nothemama8]

First off you are Jacqui
as long as you like your job and are good at it do not offer info as to your disorder, like I said you are Jacqui not the disorder
Angie

[kittykat_kezzz_purrr_meow]

Hi Jacqui.

I once was about to start working voluntary at an aged care facility. My case manager new the lady who ran the place & had lined up for me to get some work experience there. Had went in signed the necessary agreements. The boss lady took me on a tour, took me out to their garden showing me around when she asked how I knew my case manager.

I found I couldn't lie, I hate lies, so told her the truth that I had Bipolar & she was my case manager & that's how I had met her.

The day before I was to start, she rang me, on the Sunday mind you, giving some lame excuse as to why I couldn't go in. It did p me off a bit that I was not good enough to work there any longer due to the fact that I had Bipolar. Guess they had to look out for their patients & clients.

I'd keep it to myself......some things are better off left unsaid.

Take care Kezzz

[shakes]

I hate to say this because I am a big fan on honesty, but keep this one to yourself. Even in this day and age employers have a huge discrimination against those with mental illness (I hate that word). Even where I work with victims of domestic violence everyone makes jokes and has negative opinions of people with mental illness. It just is not a kind enough world to disclose this personal information.

Stay strong,
Jessica

[Dolfin]

Jacqui,

DO NOT make the fatal mistake of revealing your mental illness to your job, as I did. I work in a small optometry office (there are only 3 of us when the Doc isn't there) and one day during a discussion, my supervisor mentioned she took care of her severely ill father, who was BP 1 and had been hospitalized many times for it. I felt if she was willing to share this part of her life with us, I might as well let the cat outta the bag (so to speak).

What a HUGE mistake. Ever since that day (last summer) my co-workers have treated me like a circus freak, and my co-workers pushed it a bit further to be mentally abusive, making comments that my 'monster' must have made that mistake, Jenn's just crazy today, etc.

After enduring months of such abuse, and being mis-medicated, I wound up having a major manic episode, the only one I've ever had in the 6 years I've been DX'd. I am still on medical leave because of it, because my meds got readjusted. I will be going back to work on April 21st, with a more stoic attitude.

I DO NOT let my BP control my life; I control it. Since my episode, it has been a struggle, but I refuse to let it get me down. This is the hand I was dealt, and I will be holding the royal flush, even if I have to DRAW on the cards to make it so.

So, please, PLEASE, save yourself the heartache and keep it to yourself. It's YOUR business and no one else's. I wish you the best of luck.

Hugz and love,
Jenn

Would we tell them if we were incontinent?

[cocoa]

Thanks for the kind words Angie

Your right, I'm not my disorder!

Jacqui

[cocoa]

((((((((((((((((((((((((( Kezzz )))))))))))))))))))))))

Thats just nasty!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Only you know your you state of wellness and that was just unfare.

Take care
Jacqui

[cocoa]

Your right Jessica

I also beleave in honesty first but with my illness its a bugger.

Jacqui

[cocoa]

That really sucks Jenn

I hope things get better for you when you go back on the 21st.
When you do go back I hope you'll stand up for yourself. Their wrong to treat you that way.

Hugz and Love right back atcha!
Jacqui

[Kathyanita]

I agree to keep it to yourself- there are those who will use info against you. I still have a court date to defend myself and accuse a superior at work (a part time job I havent been invited to return to) of finding and using my medical history to discredit me because I know about his unethical activites at work. Hes been trying to portray me as a lunatic with my employers so they dont listen to me- and hes using the court to keep me away by making up charges in Municipal court, But now the judge sees my side and found probable cause for my charge against him- so I'll win and also lose because its now public record. I havent been fired but now Im like the relative you invite to the party but hope wont show up. Keep your private life guarded at work.

[cocoa]

I beleave if I was ever " incontinent " I wouldn't have the job to begin with.
Speaking on lack of self-restraint, I have had this illness long enough to know when i'm slipping mentally or getting out of control. Thats one of the better points which comes with this illness I beleave. After 10 years I can feel and know when I need to pull back or get help.

Jacqui

[cocoa]

Thats just not right that you be expossed in such a maner, win or loss in court.

One of the girls from my work made the statement that " our job was easy compaired to her last job. She said she worked in a hostal with mental health people living there and she said to me that they were a bunch of nuts and crazys. " Here I had to stand there and leason to her nasty remarks and keep my mouth shut.

By asking if we would tell them that we were incontinent, I was trying to make a point about not having to tell our co-workers every thing about us.....I also was trying to make the point that just as incontinency is an illness, so is being bi-polar...You could work if you had the problem of being incontinent, there's plenty of medicine for conditions like that. You just wouldn't show them your pills and tell why you were taking them....I vote for not telling anyone at your workplace about your disease.

[wisewoman]

Wow, this thread blows me away. I have always kept my secrets well hidden. It has become more difficult as my depression became very severe and I needed a leave. No I am asking for accomodations for the depression, PTSD and dissociation. I feel frightened. I agree that ugly people like to use it against us. I also think it is their own fear. I have trouble saying that I have a mental illness. Cripes, we all have something and as faver said, could be incontinence, diabetes, lupus etc. We are cruel to eachother because we fear we will "be like them"

[h0kie]

When my husband went back to college, we told the dean of his department and all of his professors know. For me...this was the only way to go. The faculty was so great...the dean encouraged ME (me!) to call him if I ever had an questions or problems. This made his relapse so much easier for everyone involved. I am still thankful we set things up that way.

That being said. I wouldn't bring it up. Don't offer information. You're not keeping a secret, you're simply not telling everything you know. As long as your doing your job its none of their business. I hate to say it, but there is such a stigma around any mental illness that I don't share my hubby's condition often if at all.

Maybe someday that will change.

[MacD]

As the Wizard said...."a man is not judged by how much he loves, but how much he is loved."....you are obviously a loving and much loved person....follow your heart and I'm with angie....don't define yourself by your disorder....You're so much more than that...and as long as you're doing your job, you needn't feel compelled to reveal anything, because it is your personal life....glad you're enjoying your work....love grace