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#1
Jul 05, 2009, 09:52 AM
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In a conversation yesterday, a rather good question arrose, which actually got me to thinking.....
What defines true happiness? Aside from the superficial materialistic possessions that we think we need to obtain happiness, which once obtained, we still find ourselves unsatisfied thus inquiring a deeper sense of happiness. Just as each of us have as different an opinion regarding one thing, so are our ideals of what happiness is for us. It makes me wonder, though....because each of us does have a different idea of what happiness may be, are all those differences actually the very same happiness, (which may define the true purpose for seeking it in the first place)? Does that even make sense?.....lol Sometimes, I think I try to look so far into something that I overlook what's right in front of me....lol.... And then again, sometimes not. Shangrala 
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#2
Jul 05, 2009, 09:58 AM
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Happiness to me is a state free of anxiety which would then mean that I am managing my life correctly and responsibly. It is when I can say to myself with utter conviction...."You did good Pat, you did good" be it helping someone, someone telling me they love me, balancing my accounts, that I was honest, willing and accepting without judgement. Is it a state of bliss, I dont know. But I know that in reality to experience true happiness one must have experienced true sadness at some point otherwise we have nothing to measure it against.
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#3
Jul 05, 2009, 10:32 AM
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Quote:
I so agree with you regarding the opposing happiness vs. sadness theory. We certainly cannot have one without the other. Shangrala
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I U!
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#4
Jul 05, 2009, 11:03 AM
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Happiness is an illusion of the mind ???
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#5
Jul 05, 2009, 11:03 AM
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Hi Shangrala
 According to the research that is out there on this topic (yes... believe it or not, there are psychologists that study this subject -- the field is known as positive psychology), happiness is influenced partly by genetic factors (the influence of our DNA is approximately 50%), differences in life circumstances (10%) and the rest (40%), is entirely within our control. The research that has been done on this topic suggests that everyone basically has a happiness set point, sort of like a thermostat that is set at a particular temperature. That set point is determined by our DNA/ancestry. While our set point is determined by our DNA, we can all move beyond it by the choices we make in our lives. For example, financial, material and career success will cause our happiness levels to rise, as will doing such things as practicing religion/spirituality, exercising, socializing with friends and family, practicing gratitude, engaging in "flow activities" (e.g. hobbies that we greatly enjoy), entering into marriage, etc, etc. All these activities will increase our happiness, but the rise is only temporary, because at some point we all will return to our genetically determined happiness set point. So what is happiness? Happiness is not a destination, so much as it is an ongoing, lifelong journey. It is something that has to be worked at continously, much like keeping oneself in good physical shape through regular exercise. Anyway... there's a very good book on the subject which has been written by one of the leading researchers in the field. I have read it myself and as a person who enjoys researching psychology (and other realms of science for that matter, lol), I highly recommend it. You might want to purchase a copy or check it out at your local library. See the link below: http://www.amazon.com/How-Happiness-...6807341&sr=8-1 
Last edited by Peppermint_Patty; Jul 05, 2009 at 11:22 AM. |
 Shangrala
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#6
Jul 05, 2009, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
| Pomegranate, Shangrala
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#7
Jul 05, 2009, 01:38 PM
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Hi pachy,
Quote:
Thus, if we don't work at making ourselves happy, we become accustomed to our circumstances and then we resort back to our genetic set point. That is why for example... if you buy a new car, or get a promotion, or take a trip to a place you've always dreamed of visiting, etc, etc, you are only happy about it for a while, but then later the happiness effects start to wear off. You essentially get into a "Ok... Been there... now what?" mode. BTW...This return to one's set point is known in the field of positive psychology as "hedonic adaptation". Anyway... I find it extremely interesting how the researchers in positive psychology discovered a genetic link to happiness. They discovered this by studying several hundred sets of identical twins who were seperated from each other at birth and grew up in different homes with different families. They found that these particular sets of identical twins had virtually identical happiness levels with each other despite being seperated for 20 - 50 years or longer. They also found that the twin's happiness levels did not equate at all to the happiness levels found in their adoptive parents or siblings. Totally fascinating stuff, IMHO. Cheers, Peppermint Patty Last edited by Peppermint_Patty; Jul 05, 2009 at 02:06 PM. |
| Shangrala
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#8
Jul 05, 2009, 07:12 PM
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Hi sweets, how you been? Good to see you.......funny you should bring this up.......I mention the nature of "happiness" in my book......IMO, happiness is not an emotion, it is a convoluted state of mind.....happiness to me is completely unattainable.......I spend more time thinking of reaching longer levels of joy, enlightenment, contentment, stillness, inner peace and simplicity. These experiences are universal, where as happiness is relative, depending on the person. Different things, make different people "happy" where as "stillness" for example is, well.......stillness, no matter who you are, as a state of mind. You are either still, or not..... no matter what MAKES you still. Am I making sense?
 I am tired today......yep, spent many years beating myself up wondering, even though I was feeling better mentally, why I wasn't happier? Happiness is an illusion, a name that we give to the fundamentals stated above......we strive to reach the unattainable and that is why we are miserable. Lower the expectations and reach for the attainable.....it is infinitely more satisfying! Just my 2 cents, sweets........ 
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For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/  The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
| Pomegranate, Shangrala
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#9
Jul 05, 2009, 08:42 PM
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Just after I posted this thread, I said to self, "I sure hope that Michah replies to this one", as I so respect and share your opinion on many, many things. (I highly value your couple penny's worth....lol). And, YAY...here you are!! I so love how experience teaches us the values from life's lessons. While I found the information of what PPatty offered quite informative and very interesting..some of which makes good sense, it still lacked the inclusion of any sense of unity. And with a part of my question being, "are all those differences actually the very same happiness"?, your answer clarifies that for me. I've been well. Struggling with the move...still, though slowly coming closer to a reality. Patience is a virtue, I know. And good things will soon result from my persistance. Thanks again..Hope you're doing well. Shangrala
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| Michah
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#10
Jul 06, 2009, 02:03 PM
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Happiness is accepting me just the way I am, where I am now, at this very moment.......knowing at a moment's notice my very circumstance can change.......yet I can control how I react to my outer environment changing, I have me
 That is the true and constant, what and all I have my whole life, little ole me.... So I agree regarding acceptance! Self concept is so very important to me, to my being! The poor are sometimes happier than the rich, the handicapped more happy than the healthy, the least talented & famous happier than that pop star who seems to have it all............... May we all reach deep down within and acheive that balance of emotion- accepting what we cannot change, changing what we can, and the wisdom to know the difference............... Thank you for a beautiful discussion- I'm happy!!!!!! 
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| Michah, Shangrala
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#11
Jul 08, 2009, 10:17 PM
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Happiness for me is when I don't feel pain, and I'm doing something I enjoy.
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I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become. - C.Jung Last edited by Hearty; Jul 08, 2009 at 10:42 PM. |
| Shangrala
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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