just...reading posts in the DD form makes me analyze my own memories. I don't really know how much I'm supposed to remember, but hey...might as well analyze what I've got (I like to analyze myself...can you tell?)

Well, while I have awesome friends offline, it didn't start out that way, in fact I've gone through my share of really crappy friends too. Thinking about these really crappy friends just makes me mad. Even as a little kid my one GOOD friend moved away and my other friends dumped me if they just decided I wasn't cool or old enough for them anymore (I've always had a tendency to make friends with people older then me). Then after I lived with mom and moved back with dad a few years later, when pretty much nobody wanted to be friends with me and was pretty much treated as the scum of the earth one girl pretended to be my friend just so she could trick me because she knew I was naive enough...eventually I did get a group of friends until the end of elementary school even though we had absolutely NOTHING in common they thought I was really nice and funny and they were actually nice to me so we stuck together...flash forward, didn't actually get good friends until 7th grade, then moved, then remade good friends in 8th grade, most of them moved because they were in foster care, and the friends I've made in high school I've kept until now.

But seriously, one group of friends that I had were a bunch of spoiled kids who would intentionally try to freak me out it seems (because for SOME reason girls think it's funny)...little did they know that I'm the kid who would actually believe them when they said I was haunted or when they were playing the game "psycho" (known pretty commonly as the choking game, where you intentionally asphyxiate yourself so you pass out, apparently it also gives you a "high" right before you pass out so that's why people play it...apparently they thought it's bring you into an altered state of consciousness) I pretty much flipped out and actually hid behind the door, they thought I weird. As it turns out no one actually was brave enough to actually do it so they just faked it all, with is pretty ****ed up . And another time, their little brother and this neighbor boy were pretty relentlessly picking on me and I was getting fed up with their crap so they gave me some paper and told me to write an angry note. Well, after I wrote it I threw it out but they stole it and read it and go really mad at me because part of what I wrote was that their little brother was "a little **** that needed to be taught a lesson" oh yeah, I lost my temper with them at that point because it wasn't even meant to be read.

Of course, I could draw on some other examples, but those just make me the most angry. That of course when I initially moved to where I'm living now it was a rough few first weeks as people were being kinda crappy to me again. Grabbed a stick when I got home, walked around hitting the ground with it ranting about hating people sooooo much. Then my brother comes out ranting about how it's my fault because I never let people close or give them a chance. Gah!

Anyways, that's just my vent.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( Kaika )))))))))))))))))))

Sending you lots of hugs, that was a good rant.

[Fuzzybear]

[VickiesPath]

All those friends!!!!

Feel better?

This was a cyber exercise brought to you by Vickie in Phoenix.

thank you everyone

having mood swings today. Right now I'm just so mad...but unlike last night there really is no rhyme or reason to it. Just grr. (PS: I was feeling good earlier today.)

[Fuzzybear]

mood swings brought me back to normal
or at least not mad anymore

[Astraea]

I know how you feel...I had friends like that too. Heck, even my college friends act like that. (((((Kaika))))) It's good to get it all out.

(kaika)))))))))))))))))))))) sometimes in life having friends can be hard. You have to pick and choose the ones who are real to you. Meaning Kind and they love you for you. Doing that always shows in time.
P.S having older friends is ok ..it happenes to alot of kids. Young adults also ppl my age LOL
Please know i care and you matter as always

[Rio_]

((((Kaika)))) Some of that reminds me of my time at school...I eventually pretty much gave up on having friends because any I made ended up moving away or finding other friends they preferred. I've found people at university to be much better, though. Good for you for venting, hope it helped.

[Junerain]

I had some disturbing friendships, too......at about your age, eighteen, people BEGIN to see past surface things and gravitate towards people with similiar sensitivities, support groups are GREAT to make friends at, similiar faiths and religions, churches are GREAT places to make friends, similiar volunteer/regular jobs, especially if you desire to work in some way serving others I have found those co-workers the best...it is all ahead of you.....people are just starting to come into their 'own' and that includes youmeetup.com is a good way to meet people too...I have found deep and true friends, took me about four years in the process...but they are out there.....

[nowheretorun]

Originally Posted by Junerain

I had some disturbing friendships, too......at about your age, eighteen, people BEGIN to see past surface things and gravitate towards people with similiar sensitivities, support groups are GREAT to make friends at, similiar faiths and religions, churches are GREAT places to make friends, similiar volunteer/regular jobs, especially if you desire to work in some way serving others I have found those co-workers the best...it is all ahead of you.....people are just starting to come into their 'own' and that includes youmeetup.com is a good way to meet people too...I have found deep and true friends, took me about four years in the process...but they are out there.....