Some kind words were offered to me in another thread:

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

Having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed about .
It is not your fault you have mental illness .
Would you be ashamed if you had a physical illness ?
You don't have to hide your problems here .

It may seem foolish. or ridiculous, or at least pretty out of place in a forum such as this, but I have a hard time with the words 'mental illness'. I suppose maybe I am burdened by the mental illness equivalent of 'internal homophobia' !

But really it is just that when I try to think of myself as someone with a mental illness, I keep running up against the thought that my life was not supposed to be like this. I guess that is true for all of us...

I was supposed to grow up to be a doctor and save lives and do all kinds of brilliant things like the doctors I read about in books. I was not supposed to reach the age of 49 and be hopelessly lost, disconnected and never having come anywhere near fulfilling my potential.

If I have a mental illness that means I am not in charge somehow. My greatest defence against the pain I suffered as a child was always to make it my own fault. That meant there was no need to feel it, or to feel sorry for myself, or to expect any kind of help, or comfort or sympathy. (none of which were to be found anyhow) If my current and lifelong problems are my own fault then the reality of the devastation of my hopes / dreams / desires is not so overwhelming.

It is still easier for me to think of myself as a ****-up, than to think of myself as having problems that warrant being treated with compassion. I have always felt that actually letting someone really care about me would break me into a thousand pieces...

[depressedalaskan]

(((ripley))) Don't know what to say but I myself am sure you are not a **** - up. Hugs for your day.

[Naturefreak]

Mental illness is caused by a personal weakness. A mental illness is not a character flaw. It is an illness, and it has nothing to do with being weak or lacking will-power. Although people with mental illness can play a big part in their own recovery, they did not choose to become ill, and they are not lazy because they cannot just "snap out of it."

You are not a ****-UP .

[VickiesPath]

((((((((((Ripley))))))))))

I think that I have had a "mental illness" for so long that I have forgotten what it feels like to first wrestle with the diagnosis and come to terms with it.

It is hard when we realize that we have something that would cause people to pity us, or feel compassion for us, or even (unfortunately) shun us. There are still those who do not understand even the slightest about mental illnesses and that they are biologically based and not character weaknesses. I remember as a child feeling strongly that I had been dropped by an alien spaceship into this family that I had nothing in common with! Come to think of it, that theory still has some merit.......

I really do hear what you are saying. There are lots of us here who do. Keep posting. You have lots of support here.

[(JD)]

Why not consider it as "mental unwellness? " everyone has some sort of that at times.... right?

But truly, there's no separating the body and mind, so it's "just" an unwellness... that you're working on healing, like you would pneumonia or a broken ankle. Part of the problem is when it involves the mind so much, it can be harder to find and realize the solution.

[possum220]

how do you feel about the term physical illness? do you see that as having any negative connotations? some people get physically ill - just because. Are they weak people? People who get physically sick often get well with the right treatment.

Same thing goes for being mentally ill. With the right treatment some of us will get better. We are not weak people. We are not bad people. Our brains and emotions just need a little help. Try and ease up on yourself.

[Seabirdanne]

Originally Posted by ripley

Some kind words were offered to me in another thread:


I was supposed to grow up to be a doctor and save lives and do all kinds of brilliant things like the doctors I read about in books. I was not supposed to reach the age of 49 and be hopelessly lost, disconnected and never having come anywhere near fulfilling my potential. ...

As John Lennon (who only got forty years) said: Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

The key, I guess, is to make peace with who you are and what you have done or not done.

And if anyone figures out how to do that, please let me know.

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by Seabirdanne

As John Lennon (who only got forty years) said: Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

The key, I guess, is to make peace with who you are and what you have done or not done.

And if anyone figures out how to do that, please let me know.

Well said. I loved your response.
No one can tell you how to figure something like that out. You have to do it yourself on your own terms. It may take a month or 10 years. But always know as long as you work hard at it and have faith in yourself, there is hope. Embrace who you are. Love yourself.

Thinks to all who have replied. Much to ponder...

[Catherine2]

ripley,
Thank you for sharing...thought provoking in itself but also in the replies.

The only thing I would like to add is that I no longer consider myself as mentally ill--I am mentally interesting, though.
Feeling that I am mentally interesting has lessened the sting of stigma connected to "ill."
jmo, of course

In Peace

[possum220]

I so love your response catherine........ cos I know I am so mentally interesting.............. lols

[babyfairyfifi]

I'm going to add my two penneth worth.

I used to think that mental illness was something 'they' got. It would never be me.

It was a great eye opener for me to find that when I started my training to become a psychotherapist, the people that I met on the course, the ones whom I related to the most and found the most engaging and human were those people who quite early on in the course revealed that they were suffering from varying forms of mental illness, or had done so in their past. Strangely enough, these people revealed themselves to be the most open, compassionate and human of the group.
The rest of the group , as the time wore on , started to reveal themselves to be no strangers to mental illness neither. It's just that they were more defended than those who were more at ease with themselves and their vulnerabilities.

Being human, experiencing life's ups and downs and having emotions means that no one is immune from mental illness. It's not a question of us and them, I've come to understand. It is more of a US and when ...
It will come to us all at some point in our lives. It is part of the human condition.

Babyfairy