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#1
Apr 20, 2005, 05:36 PM
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It was my 2nd appointment. The first was a month ago to start meds; this was the followup. It seemed in the beginning that the med made a difference, but was unsure exactly to what extent. And then I got those emails. I reacted really bad to them, like PTSD and depression. I confessed to her that I freaked my kid's psychologist with something I said in reaction to those emails, and said what it was. It was a prediction about how stressed I would be if I took my ex to court in order to see my kids--I felt that all the hell he'd cause me in that would make me want to kill myself. Boy, did her pen start writing more and faster here! I've had no intentions, like I said, a prediction if I took him to court. But I did have thoughts.
 And then with what happened today late this morning when someone shoved his damn groin into me--PTSD emotional reaction. I suppose this was a good day to have the pdoc appointment after that. I was able to hold in any tears but I think she noticed that my eyes might have been a little watery. Needless to say, after what I all said there today she doubled the med. It already makes me really tired all day. I can't imagine if I'll be able to stay awake all day without a nap if I double it. I called my T and left a VM too to ask if its useless that I even have job interviews. Should I even look for a job right now if there is a chance that I could react to someone or something? What if a male coworkers gets interested in me like this one guy today and gets too close for comfort or actually does do something inappropriate--how will I react? Or what about more emails from my ex? I can't function "normally". When something happens I just want to be alone, or to talk without saying anything, to cry. My T tried to call back while I was in with the pdoc so I missed his call, but he'll try again sometime tonight. 
__________________
My life and being formerly homeless 
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#2
Apr 20, 2005, 05:50 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((INKBLOT)))))))))))))))))))))
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#3
Apr 20, 2005, 07:25 PM
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TT___TT *hug* That sucks.
__________________
“For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds.” --- Wintergirls |
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#4
Apr 20, 2005, 07:31 PM
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Inky, i'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time right now. I am certainly glad that you saw the pdoc...it was really great that you had the appointment today.......i worry about you and care for you.....xoxo pat
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#5
Apr 20, 2005, 10:54 PM
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((((( INKY )))))
I will keep you in my thoughts. I can't imagine how difficult things are for you right now. Know you have all of us here to lean on  Much Love, Jenn
__________________
"You ever get that feeling your guardian angel went out for a smoke?" |
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#6
Apr 21, 2005, 12:14 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((inky))))))))))))))))))))))
__________________
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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