[VickiesPath]

Found out yesterday that I'm getting a new pdoc.

I've had this ongoing conversation with my case manager about the pdoc I've been seeing. I've been in "the system" for almost 30 years and I have never felt more left out of my treatment decisions before. This guy was recently hired and I can tell simply by talking to him that he hasn't practiced in a while and is unfamiliar with the current medications on the market. He also is not comfortable allowing me to have any word in what I am prescribed for my bipolar. That frustrates the hell out of me.

Through some misunderstanding, I thought he was the only pdoc available at the site I go to. But my case manager called me yesterday and told me she was able to transfer me to another pdoc. Problem is, I had to go over to another case manager's team and I didn't want to do that cuz I love my current case manager. But that's the way it works.

I see the old one today and start with the new one from now on. It 's going to be a little tense, I suppose. I've never done this before. I've been very fortunate in that most that I've had can tell I'm pretty informed on the meds. This guy just doesn't feel comfortable letting go of the reins.

After the meeting with pdoc, I'm going to be meeting a guy who's associated with NAMI. I'm really happy about this because I've been wanting to get started in their IOOV, In Our Own Voice, program. They train people to go out into the community to speak to groups of people about what it's like to live with mental illness. I have an education degree so this would be a natural for me. I've sort of been preparing for it by writing my history. We'll see what happens.

I'm really kind of nervous about seeing pdoc because he makes me so mad. I hope I don't blow up in his face.

[Naturefreak]

WITH THE NEW PDOC VICKIE.

[lynn P.]

Good luck Vickie - I hope it all works out. If you don't feel he's open to communicating then by all means say something. You know yourself better than anyone else.

Vickie... thinking of you and hoping your app turn out ok after all.

[Junerain]

I admire you for speaking in public groups about out illness, which also is my dream yet I fear putting myself out there...I will live vicariously through you...I admire your strength..if there were others who spoke out too, perhaps we could take a small bite out of that pervasive STIGMA!

[VickiesPath]

That's my intent. Whenever I read or hear about the stigma of mental illness causing someone an unfair hardship, it makes my blood boil!

I have thought and prayed a lot about this for quite some time. It all started about two years ago when I met an older woman at a......you wouldn't believe this......at a wake! She and I began chatting and I found out her daughter was mentally ill and she was a member of NAMI. After we talked for a while, she said, "you know, you should become a member of NAMI. You are very articulate and would really be an asset as far as someone who could speak about mental illness." I had not considered it but the more I thought about it over the months, the more it made sense. There are many things I can't do anymore given my physical limitations. But I can talk. Boy, can I talk! LOL And I've had experience talking in front of groups.

So, Junerain, I will do it in your name. I will go out and speak on your behalf and on the behalf of all the beautiful souls who suffer from mental illness and no one hears their pain.