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#1
Jun 10, 2005, 01:40 PM
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My good friends want me to go out with them on a double date with a guy she knows well. They said we'd all go see Star Wars, which they know I've been dying to see, so it's like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey to get it to move.
Since I've been divorced, I have refused every time someone has asked me out on a date. It's been three years. This way, I would ride with my friends, and feel stressed but safe. I don't know much about him, and I've never, ever been on a blind date. I do know he's divorced, works, and is an artist, too. She told him I'm really into computers and he said he has a new one and would really appreciate some help learning more about it. I do love to teach... My friend J has already told me that if I get up and hide in the ladies bathroom, he's coming in after me! lol (He knows me well!) J has even told me he would sit on the other side of me in case I panic. I don't want to let my friends down when she has gone to the trouble of talking to this man and setting it up for when I feel the most comfortable. eeek! I don't know if this is too much stress or if it might be fun. I also am concerned about all these hives on my face and hand, although I can pretty well hide them with makeup. I'm worried about my colitis, too... So, I thought I'd tell you about it and ask what you think... Terrified, Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#2
Jun 10, 2005, 01:45 PM
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Come on, January! When I got divorced, I went on a blind-dating RAMPAGE! It was one of the best things I could do to "get over" my ex. One of the assumptions I had reentering into the dating scene is that all men were like my ex, and it was so refreshing to find out how different they are! He had been my only adult relationship, and for all of his weird quirks and negative traits, I expected it to be "men" who were like that instead of just "him".
Have fun on your date! Don't let yourself feel so pressured -- it's just a movie! Love, LMo
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thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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#3
Jun 10, 2005, 01:54 PM
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Thanks LMo. I think I have the same perspective you had and I am plain panicking. Apparently this guys has been through a rough time, too. I quit dating anyone else after I met my ex, so I think that was in the back of my mind, too. You're right. It's just a movie. You took the time to help me, and I appreciate it so much.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( LMo )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hugs, Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#4
Jun 10, 2005, 02:04 PM
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Have a blast, don't pressure yourself, remember, he is a human being too, with his own challenges and concerns. And you get to just saunter away with a "Ta-ta!" in farewell if you don't like him at all.
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#5
Jun 10, 2005, 02:17 PM
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Sounds scary but if we don't step outside the comfort box, we can't experience anything new. Get excited, try something new, you might make a great friend and have some future good times. Just go into it with NO expectations, no preconceived notions, and you'll have a GREAT time!! Good luck.
Tell us all about it. Tina
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Oh, my glass house just came crashing down and cut me all to ribbons... |
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#6
Jun 10, 2005, 02:19 PM
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(and take a picture of him so we can check him out!)
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thatsallicantypewithonehand |
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#7
Jun 10, 2005, 02:34 PM
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Jan its really great to hear that you may be doing this! I say go for it! Life is too short to go it alone hon. Get out there and experience it to the fullest! I am really happy for ya and Hope you have a a great time if you decide to go! Just no nookie yet ok? Your too young for that !!! LOL Ohhhh happy days are here again.......
Love ya~ Bethy 
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#8
Jun 10, 2005, 02:43 PM
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(Yes, we need photos and his resume!)
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#9
Jun 10, 2005, 03:07 PM
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Hi Jan,
Sounds like you have some great friends! I think you should go, with an open mind...and NO expectations. I hope you have a great time... you really deserve it!! Give us an update.. OK?? Mandy |
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#10
Jun 10, 2005, 03:25 PM
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JAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is great. So happy for you. I understand your feelings though but you will have your friend there with you. Just relax, breathe and enjoy yourself. You deserve this.   Much Love, Jen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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#11
Jun 10, 2005, 03:42 PM
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YAY FOR JAN!!
I hope you go and have fun!! oh and yes we most definatly need a picture. max |
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#12
Jun 10, 2005, 06:16 PM
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Hi Jan,
I hope you have a lovely time on your date, and if you don't like him you need never have to see him again, as for the colitis when ever my crohn's is bad and I have to go out I get tablets from my Doctor and they stop me haveing to run to the loo all the time lol, so no more excuses and have a lovely time. Molly 
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#13
Jun 10, 2005, 06:16 PM
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WOoohoooo !!! I say go for it - you are getting alot of good things at once - spending time with your friend, seeing a movie you want to see, and meeting someone new ! Go and have a great time, and don't leave out any details when u tell us how much fun you had!!!!!!
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#14
Jun 11, 2005, 08:04 AM
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Hi and thanks to all of you who have written.
The date is on and it's tonight. I've decided to wear nice black jeans, a turquoise top with black buttons and a pair of semi dressy black sandals. You know, one of the nice things about this is just picking out something nice to wear. When you don't work, there aren''t many occassions to dress in more than shorts or jeans. My friend J has informed that he will personally find someone I would like to date if this guy and I don't hit it off. lol!! I can't wait to see who he drags in to meet me!!!! J's very protective of me, so the poor man would probably be afraid to look at me! If you hear of or read about some man named Richard screaming hysterically and passing out in a movie theater, you'll know it was my date! I'll keep you posted! Jan 
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#15
Jun 11, 2005, 10:51 AM
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(((((((((((((((((( Jan ))))))))))))))))))))
Your clothes sound perfect for the occasion... imo, lol. I hope you enjoy it. If you don't like him, just see it as a way of getting out to the cinema in the company of your other friends. Make sure you make your date pay for your ticket, lol. Enjoy! Silver
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#16
Jun 11, 2005, 04:29 PM
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((((((((((( Jan ))))))))))))))
Sounds like you picked out a great outfit  I hope you enjoy your night...I'm so glad you have such a good friend to watch out for you  ... and just be yourself if you really like him .. he'll love yah like we do ...if you don't like him .. lol well ... you'll figure something out. Can't wait to hear all about it Talk to you laters Jan! Miss yah! Eva
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#17
Jun 11, 2005, 07:22 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))))))))))
I want all the juicy details! LOL. Hope you have loads of fun tonight. Whoooo Hooooo. Love ya, Jen |
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#18
Jun 11, 2005, 07:31 PM
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Good luck. Your outfit sounds perfect. I'm sure you'll look great! DOn't forget to smile.
Have fun!! T
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Oh, my glass house just came crashing down and cut me all to ribbons... |
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#19
Jun 11, 2005, 10:38 PM
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I'm SOOOOO happy for you. IMHO, you needed this. I hope that all goes well. Best wishes and prayers. Hope you enjoy the movie as much as you sounded like you would. I know that I sure did.
Ry |
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#20
Jun 11, 2005, 10:53 PM
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Gee, I'm somewhat interested too.. how did it go? (It's been 12 years since my divorce...and 26 years of marriage ...so thats 38years since I've "dated" hehehe)
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#21
Jun 12, 2005, 03:47 AM
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Dearest Friends,
Well, I'm home. I've been in chat for a while, but I thought I'd answer this before I go to bed. Richard is a nice man. A very nice man.... )but I was overdressed and he was underdressed. I brought extra regular day to day clothes with me. I always do, so I took one look at him, pulled the clothes out and went in the ladies room and changed! lol Within 15 mins of meeting him, he informed me how to be "saved". (No offense to anyone at all intended!) He was quite insistant. lol He is very needy, lacking confidence, (worse than me), and likes me waaay to much for one date. Way too much. He has all kinds of things planned for us to do. He even wants me to come visit him on his lunch breaks! I don't think so. He politely told me he had been horribly used and crushed and that he knew I was divorced so in time, when I was ready, to come to him and tell him everything as I could. He also told me not to be upset when he cried over what I told him because he has those reactions. So........ I sat so far over on my side of the seat to get away from him that I probably have the arm imprint in my side! It was an adventure. I lived through a day of panic attacks and colitis, and I made it. So I'm proud. Now I'm going to tell friend J to go find someone I might like and drag him in to meet me! I want to go back and see the movie again. I was lost in memories and in trying to make sure I didn't accidentally bump Richard. Also, he laughed in all the wrong places at Star Wars and had bad breath! Thanks for asking. 'Wish you had all been there! lolol Hugs, Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#22
Jun 12, 2005, 10:25 AM
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Oh goodness Jan ! Your post had me in stitches !!!! At least you got out for the evening ! What a smart idea to take a change of clothing - I would never have thought of that one !
Even though things went poorly, I am so glad to see that you are going to allow your friends to try another "blind date setup" for you ! ANd you first one - should keep you laughing for a good while !!! Sorry about not really enjoying the movie, perhaps the next guy you meet will not have seen it and you can have a second date with him to see it ! |
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#23
Jun 12, 2005, 10:55 AM
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I'm so glad you went through with this date, Jan. Even though your blind date, Richard, didn't turn out to be compatible, you've managed to accomplish so much yesterday. J sounds like a great guy. You are lucky to have him as a friend.
Maybe Richard acts in ways that you do not like because this was a first date and he's extremely anxious. Might you consider a second date with him, Jan? Afterall, it was only one date. Hmmm. Maybe offer him some sedatives and a breath mint on the next date? Well, there might be something to first impressions. Perhaps you should just go with it. Well, now you know you can survive a blind date. I hope this encourages you to try again. You did great, Jan! - Ray |
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#24
Jun 12, 2005, 11:46 AM
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Yeah, let this be a reminder to all of us: don't do something you really want to do...with strangers! It's better to go alone and have a controlled good time! Good chatting with you January.
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#25
Jun 12, 2005, 12:34 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))))))))
Sorry it didnt go well. But seems like you hung in there despite what was going on. The "right" one will come along. Much Love, Jen |
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