So much on my mind...

It feels like everything in my life is up in the air right now. After a lot of soul-searching and due diligence, my wife and I have decided that we have to file bankruptcy and get rid of our home. My emotions are all over the map. On the one hand, glad that we finally have a plan to get back on our feet financially; on the other, the idea of having to leave our home and deal with the whole bankruptcy and foreclosure process is tearing me up.

I am so frightened about everything that might go wrong and the implications that filing BK might have on the rest of my wife's and my lives. I have spoken with credit counselors at the Credit Counseling Center, a couple of BK attorneys, our CPA and a number of people who have gone, are going or know someone who is going through the process and everyone says that, given our circumstances, it's the right financial decision. We live in a very nice neighborhood but it appears we are not the only ones in this predicament. According to Yahoo! Real Estate there are 35 homes in our zip code alone that are in foreclosure, which according to some people that are more expert on this topic than I am means that there are probably 4x that many in default.

On top of this I am trying to restart a business and that has it challenges. There just feels like there is so much uncertainty in my life and I feel so dependent on others. I'm not on solid footing but I am not going to let this get me down (although I will accept that I will be sad and worried from time to time). I am blessed to have a wonderful wife whom I love deeply and who is also a fighter. I just needed to get this off my chest and I am so thankful for the kind support of all the great folks in this community. God bless all of you. And somehow we'll get through it.

Can you file just business bankruptcy and keep your home - can you afford to keep your home? I know it's hard, but if you have mounting debt, sometimes it's the only way. It's tough at first because you won't have any credit cards. You're right many people are going through the same thing or losing their homes. I'm glad you have the support of your wife - that's very important. Try to live as simply as possible. I think most people live beyond their means. Best of luck to both of you. You can get through this.

Dear Renovation,

You are absolutely correctly! You are not alone. Times are difficult, foreclosures are commonplace in PA & NJ Please keep the financial business separate from your self-esteem & family life. You and your family are separate from this economy, it has nothing to do with your worth.
You are strong & a deserving human being, w/ talents and gifts!!

When I was laid-off I took it personally & went into terrible depression.
Don't make that mistake!! Please!
I needed to separate the economy & my self-worth.
Keep posting & let us know how you are & your wife are doing .

Live in Love,
Holmes

Thank you both for the kind words of encouragement. Live in love is great advice. Nothing or no one can take away the joy of being a loving person and there is no reason why I can't go through this process with love and compassion to myself and others as my foremost thought. Everyday I am going to give thanks for my blessings and extend a warm and loving thought to others and focus on putting positive energy into the world. I CHOOSE to be loving and positive!

Thank you!

That is a Beautiful & Winning Attitude!!!!

I too, admire your attitude during this time of great adversity. Take a little time to be gentle with yourself while you struggle through this.

You have a great attitude and mlpHolmes is right - this has nothing to do with you, as a person. Times are really hard right now. I also wanted to point out that even Donald trump has filed bankruptcy 4 times. You'll have a fresh start and in a way, it can feel like a relief, when you have mounting debt. You and your wife will get through this. We had to go for mandatory financial counseling - do they have the same thing in the U.S.? It's good to learn from your money handling mistakes, so you can improve in the future.

Renovation:

My husband and I were forced to file Chapter 13, at Xmas time. We were 50K in debt with credit cards after a surgery mistake was made by a doctor to me. It was so hard to get through, but once the filing and legwork of submitting all the court needed documents to the lawyers, and we got in court and realized we were not in a room with a bunch of low lifes but ordinary people that had found themselves in a financial hardship it was like a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders. I live every day with the dread that we may not be able to make the mortgage payment, it's alot of stress to cope with daily, how can it not affect you mentally and spiritually. When we stepped in the courtroom, I was amazed at how many people were filing, we even bumped into someone we knew. That said, the decision to file bankruptcy didn't come lightly, and it didn't come easy. We knew we were sinking with no way out, with the Chapter 13 they allowed us to be put on a sensible payment plan and still keep our cars and house. is that an option for you?
I feel for what you are going through, you can rebuild your credit back up, in small steps, what matters most is that the stress you are under does not affect your health. I am happy that you and your wife are fighters.... Keep going, God will guide you with what is best to do.