[Eljay]

I am a very sensitive person. I suffer from Depression, Social anxiety and Depersonalization Disorder. Thing is I am not particularly proud of my heritage, being an Afrikaner. (Mixed Dutch, German, French descent, and Afrikaans a language derived from Dutch) My people were responsible for Apartheid, murders, torture and other crimes against humanity. I was a child and teenager while it was still happening and just consentrated on myself. The government controlled the media and at that time I didn't really know a lot. But I knew the rest of the world didn't like us. Even today I still feel guilty and can't seem to be proud of my people. But only the minority of Afrikaners feel this way. I guess it's more about bad self esteem on my part. I should work on it and love myself for who I am. Just for interests' sake I'd say Afrikaners are known for being hard working, straight forward, sometimes stubborn, good problem solvers, practical, entrepeneural, sport loving, braai(barbeque) and party loving, outdoorish etc, etc. I would like to know what your ideas on Afrikaners are today.

[Sabrina]

I have grown up English but my grandparents were Afrikaans. I do see where you are coming from with your post. I think you are quite right to try and love yourself for who you are. Remember, things that happened were certainly outside of your control. I think our country is also changing so much, daily. I try to accept all people, as hard as that is to do sometimes. I have many Afrikaans friends. They are people with integrity. And just where would we be without a braai??

[purple_fins]

I am also a VERY sensitive person and struggle horribly with similar as you--major depressive disorder, anxiety, depersonalization and then also along with PTSD and on and on.....

I believe it's best to have the mindset like Maya Angelou said-- "when we know better, we do better".
One can't blame themself- when one is a child and/or teen, for NOT knowing what was going on and feel you are in some way "bad" for it.
You know better now and I bet you will act in positive ways on this subject from here on..... a child shouldn't be blamed for being born into something unjust and wrong. It's not your fault.

Maybe volunteering within the realm of this whole prejudice thing, would help you to feel you are making a change for the good, helping with something that needed changing....

Shame can be a very powerful force that stops us from being our full self...... searching for ways to shrink that guilt may be of some help.

best to you

[Eljay]

Thanks Sabrina and Purple fins for understanding. I should believe I am my own special person and be proud of that. I know there are a lot of Afrikaners that are racist and prejudiced in their everyday conversations etc, and that bothers me a lot. I don't want to associate with that, because I've never been prejudiced against different races, cultures, social class, religions, sexual orientations, etc. I just wish all people can grasp that we are all human beings with feelings and that colour of skin is just skin deep.

[lonegael]

It's a good place to start Eljay. It's often easier to notice through others what is racist and what isn't in thoughts, actions, jokes. From that you can take it a step further and be able to recognize what is wrong in the culture and society at large. remember, sometimes it' hardest to catch yourself at the prejudice games. My take on Afrikaaners is that they are a very varied bunch when it comes to how they feel about other races and what happened under apartheid, just like any other group of people is varied and has tolerant and intolerant people. To not see that is to fall prey to the same type of thinking that made Apartheid and other forms of bigotry possible in the first place.
I hope that you can find away to transform your awareness into a respect for yourself and otheres, Eljay. I have a feeling that you can do a lot of good for yourself and the wold when you do. Huggs!

[Eljay]

Thanks Lonegael for understanding, especially understanding how varied the Afrikaans people are in their opinions and outlook on other races and issues. I am currently involved in a charity organisation that try to help molested and neglected children in the Cape Town townships. I have social phobia, but I contribute by knitting teddy bears for them. The townships are where the poorest black people of South Africa live in squalor and extreme poverty. The conditions there are very distressing to me as I am so very sensitive.

[Rhapsody]

We really cant focus on the past or what our ancestors did or didn't do... simply for the fact that if we did I would be ashamed to be WHITE.

Be PROUD of who YOU are today and show LOVE & ACCEPTANCE to ALL.

[lonegael]

Wonderful about the teddy bears! Awesome to use your creativity that way!

[Eljay]

Thank you Rhapsody and lonegael fo making me feel beter about myself. I can see that you are all sensitive souls too!

hi eljay. i think i posted on one of your threads once because i have a good friend who lives in cape town who is an afrikaner. we met online and i hope to meet him and his family some day. interestingly, a lot of your descriptors fit him well. he has become a very dear friend to me. he's probably a little older than you and was involved in the apartheid protests. i know he got gassed and mistreated by the authorities for his protesting. i have nothing but respect for him.

i think as someone else said there will be all sorts of people within any one culture so it wouldn't be right to view all afrikaners as the same. you sound like a lovely person. i'm sure the children just love the teddy bears you knit. that is a wonderful thing to do. i recently watched the movie 'cape of good hope'. do you think it's a fairly accurate, if movie version, of everyday life in the cape post-apartheid? i enjoyed the movie.

[Eljay]

Hi Bloom, thanks for responding. Strangely enough, I have never heard of the movie "Cape of Good Hope"! I'll be sure to look into that and would really like to get back to you about my opinions of it. I'm glad you enjoyed it. All of the best to you!

[Eljay]

Hi Bloom! I found out on the Internet that "Cape of Good Hope" was made in 2004 by an American, Mark Bamford. The actors used were all South Africans, some of which I've seen in S.A soap operas etc. The snippets I saw of it looked interesting and I could see it was a positive film. Unfortunately I have to say in reality South Africa has big problems, especially very high crime rates and awful poverty which is very sad. Furthermore I could see all the races of especially Cape Town were represented and true to life. But strangely enough to my knowledge the film was not distributed in South Africa. But a lot of small budget art films doesn't make it to South Africa. You must know that the big American films rule here!

[Eljay]

Hi, me again. South Africa is very, very proud of being the first country in Africa to host the Soccer World Cup! I know most Americans don't really follow soccer. But I'd like to know if you think we would be able to host a successful World Cup event. I don't really know what is written about our country in your newspapers and what the media tells you. Would be interesting for me to know. I am also not sure of how well our organisation, infrastructure and services will turn out to be. But I am positive it will be a unique experience. Visitors should see it as an adventure: be prepared for anything. If transportation is overcrowded and late, lights go off for a few minutes during a game or your cellphone mysteriously dissapeares, please take it in your stride. I sincerely hope that you don't have to experience heavy crime or are to distressed by poverty that you see. Please give me your opinions on how you think it will all turn out. Positive or negative. I sincerely would understand negativity, because South Africans experience it every day!

[Sabrina]

Eljay, as a fellow South African, I truly do not feel we are ready to host this event. Not trying to be negative but you have pointed out the obvious in your post.

[Eljay]

Sabrina, I totally understand your reservations. It's not negative, it's realistic. I don't think foreign tourists can have any idea of the extent of crime in South Africa. (Murders, rape, car hijacking, armed robbery and muggings etc.) How will they know which places are too unsafe to stay or visit? South Africans love soccer, but in this country the crime is so rife, it's very scary. Is their any foreigners out there who wants to have their say about the 2010 World Cup? If you have questions we can answer them for you! Get yourself educated!

[sugahorse1]

Hi there fellow RSA peeps!

2010 I feel has come at the wrong time for South Africa, what with all the current turmoil.

On the other hand - I'm glad to have found some fellow South Africans!
Take care and look after yourselves!