[inkblot]

I am really scared about going to a hospital or even to the pdoc appointment that was already scheduled for today. It for my regular appointment for more med samples. But I am afraid to go. I am afraid to talk to her. I was triggered by another employee there once early on and that only screwed up relations. It's really hard for me to talk there. I don't even want to go there, but I still might. I just don't know what or how much I will say. I will try. But I am very afraid. I haven't taken any med since last Thursday, I think, because I haven't been able to find it. I can pretty much safely assume that my T *REQUIRES* that I have meds right now. It's for my own--and *his*--mental health that I be on meds! I was hoping that I would be feeling better physically after overnight, but I am still not feeling good--not the slightest bit better by any means. I am hungry but I don't feel like eating. I want to but I am afraid to with my stomach like this. I might try something very light just for the sake of having something. I wish you all from chat last night could make these decisions for me. I dont' want to be forced, but I need it in an extremely gentle, coaxing way. The social worker is aware of what is going on, and it's highly possible that if I don't check in to a hospital and show up in the office he will call 911. I've harassed the H out of my T to the extremes of being obnoxious. Can anyone come here and cook me some macaroni and cheese? Maybe that will be okay for my stomach if I don't eat too much or too fast. I don't feel like soup--just don't have that feel of wanting sodium. I don't remember what else I was going to say. I called in sick to work today. I wouldn't be able to concentrate and it would be a waste of the company's money if I were there.

[h0kie]

Don't know what I can do to help except keep my fingers crossed for you. I wish good things for you inky. Let me know if I can help.

((((((((((inky))))))))))