I wonder how many of you come here, write a post, but never click the "send" button.

I wonder how many of you come here, write a post, click the "send" button, leave your post on for couple of minutes, change your mind, click the "edit" button and delete the post you have just written.

I wonder how many of you come here to read posts and replies but never post yourself. Maybe because you are to scare to post and be later judge or rejected. Too scare of being more hurt.

I just wonder how many of you are so hurt but so silent. The "Do not say" yelling in your mind.

Time0

[tinybabyrex]

i have! i find it extremely difficult to talk about myself. i have the classic "shut-up, they don't care about you, they have there own problems" song in my head. sorry, i can't help it. i like to read other peoples posts, they help me, sometimes i respond, but i am new here and i don't know ya'll yet. but i do have problems, the list is mighty long. i just want to feel more comfortable in my surroundings first. there that is my reason, anyway. sorry

This post is my way to say I care for you all!

Time0

[Beautiful_Pain]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I wonder how many of you come here, write a post, but never click the "send" button.

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<font color="purple">
Never, I think hard as I type, as well as before.</font>

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

I wonder how many of you come here, write a post, click the "send" button, leave your post on for couple of minutes, change your mind, click the "edit" button and delete the post you have just written.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
<font color="purple">
Never</font>

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

I wonder how many of you come here to read posts and replies but never post yourself. Maybe because you are to scare to post and be later judge or rejected. Too scare of being more hurt.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
<font color="purple">
I did this alot when I first registered, a year and a half ago. I try not to now.</font>

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

I just wonder how many of you are so hurt but so silent. The "Do not say" yelling in your mind.

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<font color="purple">
ALOT Even when I'm beyond hurt, I come to try and help others feel better, hoping that by doing so, I will feel better.

Very good, though-provoking questions. Thanks for asking =) {{{{Time}}}}
</font>

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((time0)))))))))))))))))))))

beautiful.

[(JD)]

<font color="blue">You have no idea!!!!! Yes, I post a lot but not nearly as much as I write! Especially due to the latest flare, I have the "preview post" preview PM clicked automatically.. and yes, many, many times I have deleted the whole thing and not said anything. Often I edit it severely, afraid of not being understood and not being up to explaining to those two or three members who appear to search out posts to dispute. I end up with more posts that are "just" ((((hugs)))) than I really wish. I mean, I do wish them hugs, but have more support to give.. .just can't. I've had to reduce what I say to protect myself. Paranoia strikes deep... and will probably kill me. I'm trying very hard to prevent expressing my own dilemmas, and "just" sending out some support for others. I don't feel accepted like I used to.

Thanks time0 for the thread... and I sincerely hope no one bashes anyone's comments on this thread. Sometimes we just need to air out our thoughts and explain our actions?

TO all those who are reading and won't be able, for one reason or another, to respond: (((((hugs)))))

[gardenergirl]

That's very caring and perceptive of you.

((((timeO))))

gg

[dexter]

tbrx

There's no problem for you to read here, especially if it makes you feel more comfortable, that's what we are here for.

But when you do feel ready to post more, please don't ever feel that we don't want to hear about you. This is a special place where we all understand what that feels like and we always welcome posts about yourself.

Just as reading other people's posts, when other people read yours, that helps their sense of feeling "not alone," and the opportunity to help is actually a gift, for when we can help, even if it is just with support, it does wonders to improve own sadness and self-esteem.

Take it all on your own time though, that is what is most important.

[Beautiful_Pain]

<font color="purple">

Well Said, Dex. Seconds his post. =)

We will be here to listen, whenever you are ready to talk, tinybabyrex.

</font>

[SpazKatt]

I read TONS of post and think about replying, but don't think my reply would be good enough

[Perzephone]

Sometimes I just feel things that I type in reply would be better left unsaid - not every opinion is valid or helpful in some scenarios. There are a lot of situations that people here are involved in where I have no expertise (anything dealing w/kids & relationships & guilt especially) and my words would be useless and probably not appreciated.

There are also a lot of great minds thinking alike here, too - many times I'll read a post & someone has already replied w/something I'd say. Why repeat it? Maybe a reply that says 'Ditto'?

I also made a New Year's Resolution last Hallowe'en that I'd talk less & listen more this year. It makes my coworkers nervous when I don't talk & they goad me into babbling - that kind of talking to fill the silence, which is part of why I decided to just talk less this year - silence. It's not something I get a lot of. Since I shut up, my husband here at home talks incessantly. (His tongue is running right now, and I'm nodding along w/divided attention). But my resolution applies online as well - sometimes I would have said something offhanded or flippant or mean - and now I just don't. I can read other people's blogs w/out feeling a need to add my two cents, a lot of threads don't go unnoticed by me, but I pick & choose where to chime in. I spend a lot less time online than I used to - I've found out that I'm not so obsessed w/what other people think of what I wrote on a website somewhere.

[JustBen]

Well, if you click the "Who's Online" link you can see that at any given time, roughly 25%-50% of the people cruising the forum are unregistered. I guess some people just aren't ready to share.

[dexter]

>>Why repeat it? Maybe a reply that says 'Ditto'?

In general I don't like to repeat either but a lot of times here people are not looking for answers but rather struggling with insecurity and I think repeating a positive suggestion that you believe in helps to reinforce it.

So there are many times when I will find myself repeating a previous posters answer just to lend my support to the situation.

Even a reply that just says "ditto" can be very supportive to someone struggling with something IMO.

And I do believe every opinion is valid, the special case here is that it must be expressed in a supportive manner and not be judgemental, which can be hard to do, so I think it is OK to post only when you are comfortable, but don't take that to think that your opinion isn't valid.

Did that make any sense?

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{Dave}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You usually ALWAYS make sense! I agree with you completely.

There have been times when I've answered with a "Ditto" with a few exclamation points after it. Usually, this is when someone's response has really struck a cord and I know I couldn't have said it any better. It's a "vote" for the positive side. It reinforces. How many positives does it take to undo a negative?? Way, way too many!! If all I can do is reinforce the positive that's already been said, then that's what I'm going to do.

[(JD)]

[SeptemberMorn]

Time, Sweety... I don't relate... you know how much I love to talk!!!

For those that remain silent and in fear, my heart goes out to you. Take your time. There are people here that don't judge, they just "feel" with you...

Peace and love to you.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I can only speak for me but when someone takes the time to say ANYTHING to me in my threads I am so grateful because many people do not post to me at all. I am guessing they think they don't like me but they dont know me enough to know that so I dont hold it againts them...But even a ditto or a hug or goes a long way to make me feel less alone.

[tinybabyrex]

me too................