[mtex]

I was called Christmas eve that my older sister was dead of an overdose. She was a wealthy housewife that never got any consequences until it was too late. well I went up Christmas and started to sort some things out. i discovered she had taken many things of mine which bothered me. the more impossible to fathom is she had stolen my daughters baby earrings and locket. nOw why ? what need did that fill? stranger yet I discovered my younger sister has an entire box of my daughters baby things she took from my home. she was unable to give any explanation and i did not press b/c she is very histrionic/dramatic and I hate the noise she can make. I found out about the box 2 week ends ago. then this past saturday she called from Houston's international doll hospital 43 times b/c she was wanting to fix an eye and buy it clothes. I requested her not to about 20 times then gave up. It seems very bizarre that 2 sisters are stealing and clinging to my daughters baby things. I mean why? My daughters baby doll had a broken eye for a reason and a reason she had no dress. They are my children and the items are either mine or my daughters. that is very creepy.

Hello, mtex. What an enigma you describe. I know not the answer why. Hope you at least got the property back.

Be well.

[mtex]

Originally Posted by mtex

I was called Christmas eve that my older sister was dead of an overdose. She was a wealthy housewife that never got any consequences until it was too late. well I went up Christmas and started to sort some things out. i discovered she had taken many things of mine which bothered me. the more impossible to fathom is she had stolen my daughters baby earrings and locket. nOw why ? what need did that fill? stranger yet I discovered my younger sister has an entire box of my daughters baby things she took from my home. she was unable to give any explanation and i did not press b/c she is very histrionic/dramatic and I hate the noise she can make. I found out about the box 2 week ends ago. then this past saturday she called from Houston's international doll hospital 3-4 times b/c she was wanting to fix an eye and buy it clothes. I requested her not to about 20 times then gave up. It seems very bizarre that 2 sisters are stealing and clinging to my daughters baby things. I mean why? My daughters baby doll had a broken eye for a reason and a reason she had no dress. They are my children and the items are either mine or my daughters. that is very creepy.

my girls are now 21 and 26

[slowinmi]

mtex,

You don't say whether your sisters have children of their own, but it sounds as if they don't. Could it be that having these things is a way for them to "pretend" they were from their children?

Welcome to PC. We're glad you're here.

[mtex]

I am really running through all potential reasons. does my younger sister need these items from my girls & myself to somehow claim a stake in our lives? To "pretend?" when she told me and showed me the box i was baffled. Then she said how much it meant for the girls to see it at her house. said they always want to see it when visiting. THis sounded totally out of character for my girls. i called both today and they could not care less or remember the stuff. all i feel now is less anger and more sadness for her. it just is creepy like a "trophy" or something

[mtex]

my sister that died adopted a son from korea that has severe autism. he is now 16. my sister and her drug use and depression caused him immeasurable damage. my younger sister has a daughter that is two different people. relaxed happy funny when my sister is not there. quiet withdrawn and guarded with my sister around. my sister is controlling and subject split second mood swings. like breaking down and crying a lot in front of her daughter. yet then swings scary mad in a moment. it was the second time in years i got together with my younger sister when we flew together to washinton to make arrangements at christmas when my other sister died. the third time for a day when she showed me the box. I can not wxpress how awful it was so deep in loss and have a person (sister) alternating between tears, anger, disrespect, and me staying calm not reacting. it was very much saying the serenity prayer and my 8 years of sobriety and the AA program that carried the day.

[Elysium]

I'm just curious if this was an issue before you knew they had these things? I mean, were they things that you were missing and looking for for a long time or was it stuff that you had let go of already in your mind's eye? If you were looking for them and they were keeping them from you I can understand your distress, but have you asked your younger sister to explain why she was holding these things?

I understand sentimental value but it sounds like this only became an issue after the fact. Can you give them the benefit of the doubt? Maybe they were keeping them for a reason. Does it make you feel like a bad Mom, or feel guilty thinking that you hadn't missed these things but he whole time your sisters were holding them close? Do you feel bad for not holding them close yourself, like that should have been your responsibility and not theirs?

One sister has passed, the other is your only remaining sibling. If you haven't thougt about these things in years and you haven't missed them is it really worth the stress and conflict? I mean, is it really such a horrible thing?

Food for thought?

I don't know..but I agree that is really creepy and strange. The lame excuses make it even worse.
I'd just..get the stuff back and don't let them in your home where they could steal anything else,

[sunrise]

Your younger sister sounds very open with you about having stolen these things from your home. (If I stole something from a family member I would try to keep that fact from them!) Sounds like you two are on speaking terms, so how about just asking her why she stole them? Perhaps she has taken other things as well--she has kleptomania?

[mtex]

thank you all for your questions. yes the issue is after finding out. the things they had I had assumed lost forever. They were things that disappeared and & wondered about. i assumed they had gone with the girls when visiting their father. He has no sentimental feelings so I figured he threw them out. the true issue I have is a sibling going in my house and taking/stealing things that were not theirs. my younger sister hem hawed about the truth waiting for my reaction. I stayed neutral b/c I wanted to see the box contents. When I did I started to cry. everything was from a time in my life that i was so depressed I could not function. sold my ranch moved to a one room cabin made my ex-husband take the girls b/c I was incapable of being a mother. What is so bothersome is the motivation. I have zero interest in my nieces baby things. My sister did not even know whose baby blanket it was. I did not keep the box b/c it made me so sad about my life before depression and the war i fought to overcome it. I just can't get over the motivation.why?

[mtex]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Your younger sister sounds very open with you about having stolen these things from your home. (If I stole something from a family member I would try to keep that fact from them!) Sounds like you two are on speaking terms, so how about just asking her why she stole them? Perhaps she has taken other things as well--she has kleptomania?

yes my younger sister was caught stealing stuff from my grandmothers house when my grandmother died.

[Elysium]

After reading your last couple posts, I can now understand a bit more why you are feeling so upset.

If you were wondering and missing these things and thinking they were lost to the ex, then finding out your sisters came in and just took them for no real good reason and they weren't there's and they don't have a valid reason to have done this....that is a bit upsetting.

It would make me angry to find that they had missing stuff of mine that they had deliberately taken from my home without my permission, especially if the didn't even know who's stuff it was later...as if it meant nothing. It had to have meant something to them at some point for them to take it, but why wouldn't they just ask?

[slowinmi]

mtex,

I can see why you are very upset. I would be very upset too if I felt someone was taking things out of my house, but is there any possibility that on some level she feels she was doing you a favor? Maybe she thought she was "rescueing" that stuff. You said yourself that your ex is not sentimental. Maybe she felt that she was saving it for you and your girls from the time that you were depressed and unable to care for the kids. Maybe she was afraid that he would throw it away and you would be unable to care for it just as you were unable to care for the girls.

Regardless, she shouldn't have made up an excuse about why she did it and she should have told you sooner about it. (Of course, maybe she was trying to get a reaction from you.....) I'm sorry this happened to you.