i ran into a member in chat recently and for the life of me i can't recall the username... dang it. She had left and abusive partner and was feeling guilty. We talked out rights and how to hang onto to strength in such a situation. Gosh.. i hope she sees this and forgives my addled brain.
i found that thing i mentioned... way back when i was struggling with the same sorts of issues my T asked me to write a list of rights that i would give to others. He said that he understood that i would have a harder time writing such a thing for my own self, but i could likely do it for others. At the time i posted what i had on here and let people help me build a list. It's been a valuable tool but i had misplaced it and now my old account doesn't exist anymore so i can't find it that way.
but - TADA! i have it... so for that specific member and anyone else who might use a tune up in the personal rights department:
Quote:
* feel safe
* not be harmed physically
*be treated with respect
* not be screamed and yelled at
* not be belittled
*not be humiliated
*not have to find ways to degrade yourself to appease another
*not be afraid in your own home
*wake up each day without a knot in your stomach
*take care of yourself
*grow and learn
*feel good about yourself
*not accept disrespect
*leave when you don't want to be there anymore
*be heard
*express your opinions without fear
*have your own thoughts
*feel secure
*feel in control of your own life
to be angry when someone denies you of your basic rights.
to say no
to be loved
not to be blamed for things that are not under your control
to not be responsible to other people's actions or feelings
to seek help and support
to have friends
to have a career
to have interest in things that you don't
take care of yourself
express yourself
remove yourself from surroundings that don't feel safe
a T who listens with an open mind
occasionally be a ***** and not be the end of the world
be honest even if it hurts someone
to make mistakes
say you are hurt
to be safe
to love unconditionally
to ask for what you want
to say no to requests or demands.
to change my mind.
to make mistakes
to follow my own values & standards.
to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe
to determine my own priorities.
to expect honesty from others.
to feel & express anger.
to be uniquely myself.
to feel scared and say "I'm afraid."
to say "I don't know"; I don't care; I don't agree; I don't understand."
to have my opinions given respect.
not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
to make decisions based on my feelings.
to my own needs for personal space & time.
to change and grow.
to have my needs & wants respected by others.
to be treated with dignity & respect.
to be happy.
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__________________
“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” -His Holiness, the Dalai Lama
I will not kneel, not for anyone. I am courageous, strong and full of light. Find someone else to judge, your best won't work here.
Jun 16, 2010, 10:05 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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