[birdcrazy]

I dunno what to do. It all started because I was mad at relatives for not taking me to a job interview. Then, I got angry because they kept accusing me of stuff... so I got mad back... then they got mad, I started slamming doors and screaming at grandma... they said some pretty nasty stuff too.

Anyway, they want me out of the house as soon as possible. I called one relative and they said no, I can't live there, and I don't know other relative's phone numbers. My relatives here say they can't handle my bipolar symptoms.

I don't know how to keep cool. They expect me to keep cool even when they are cursing and screaming at me. I'm even having bad, bad thoughts of hurting myself.

I need ideas how I should control my reactions... and ideas where I could stay, I do see my tdoc tomorrow about this.

[Aunt Donna]

Sounds like they have issues of their own. Are taking medication for the bipolar? Take a deep breath when you feel angry and count to ten. Walking away instead of arguing helps, also. Their anger makes you angry. I tend to get upset easily when others are upset. I just have to get up and go into another room.

[birdcrazy]

yeah, I'm on an anti psychotic and two mood stabilizers.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Dear Birdcrazy

Oh it is so hard for all concerned when these things happen. I understand that they don't know how hard it is for you, but also you don't know how hard it is for them. How long have they lived through this with you? I so feel for you all. I'm sure they are trying and I'm sure they don't like telling you that you should leave. I find it sad that they can't just push through it and try once more.

One thing that some carers and family think is that people give in to their symptoms because they have the diagnosis that explains behaviours when in fact only a very small percentage actually do give in and use their syptoms as an excuse for everything. I don't think you would be one of those people Birdy because you are supportive of others on here and those who give in to their symptoms don't have the ability to support others as there is too much self focus.

I know you are angry and I am sorry you are feeling that way; slamming doors isn't the best way to handle your anger, but I hope once things have calmed down somewhat, maybe you can have a round table talk with everyone? My family (who are my inlaws and just beautiful), are so patient with me; and because they are so patient with me, I do not exhibit negative symptoms toward them or various inanimate parts of the house and furniture. Love goes a long way with mental illness sufferers and often they will mimick the behaviour of those around them so that they can fit in or at least feel as if they fit in.

If I were in your postition (and this is me not you), I would make an apology rather than hurting myself. If I were to hurt myself I would be saying to them "You made me do this so you should feel guilty". I don't think that suits the situation at all.

When you're in a slump, get some Clary Sage essential oil (as long as you or no one near you is pregnant), and gently inhale it. It does help with reducing anger and sadness, and it also lifts moods and alleviates mild headaches for me (tension). I usually mix it with rose to help calm, it's quite lovely,

Thinking of you with loving thoughts,

Rhi