[CliveWild]

I have lots of on-line friends. Some I have known many years but never met them in person. I hope to put this right one day.

I got myself into a very reflective mood while I was walking yesterday. I never made friends easily. That is the kind of friend you can actually meet and do things with. I know this very well. I should do by now because I am 60.

I was thinking about the friends I have had over my life. I realised that I met them all at school, at work or at a day centre. I have not worked in 5 years. My school friends are long gone. I no longer attend a day centre.

I am used to not making friends but I still worry about it. I am not complaining (much) but I am just thinking out loud.

If you want friends you can do things with, you have to go where the people are.

[somewhat defective]

Hi Clive,

I understand what you mean. I'm in my mid 30's and the only wedding i've attended is my brothers. If I was to get married myself I'd have nobody to invite!! Friends just don't seem to be a part of my life and even at school I only had one or two close friendships.

It's not something that particularly bothers me as i'm not the most sociable of people. I have however, like you, spent time thinking about it and often wishing that I was a more affable person, somebody that found making friends a pleasure and effortless.

I see my young children making friends in a matter of minutes, something I could never do as a child and because my lack of confidence and shyness comes across as aloofness or arrogance I doubt i ever will.

I think as a person you have to show genuine interest in others, if I really wanted to make friends I would find a place where people shared the same interests as me, go along for an afternoon or evening and see what comes of it. Do you have any interests that you think others share with you?

Hope you find a solution and TheByzantine has a point... where there's people there's the potential for friendship... now go find the people!

SD

check out my blog: somewhatdefective.blogspot.com

[Rhiannonsmoon]

(((((((Clive))))))))

Our window on the world is now the computer; I have made many friends over the years but they are all over the world and I only have 4 really close ones who I maintain contact with and whom I absolutely thank the universe for. But friends can be an asset or a poor liability