[thunderbear]

But it did'nt start out that way. I went to the costume store Friday and bought all the stuff to do zombie make-up on my kids. I spent the better half of 3 hours getting them all ready. They looked awesome. I was proud of my work. So instead of going house to house, the fire dept and the church beside them was having a big thing there. They had over a hundred cars in the parking lot decorated handing out candy. There was a hayride, haunted house and hot air balloon rides. We were there for over 2 hours. When we left, I wanted a coffe and the kids had to use the bathroom so we stopped at Speedway. Well when I was at the counter, my oldest boy wanted a candy apple. I told him no cause he had a huge bg of candy in the car. Well he went into his tantrum. He threw the apple at another costumer, overturned a store shelf and whn we got outside, he tried to rip the trash cans by the gas pumps off their bolts. I finally get him in the car and he took his little bro's candy,poured it out and stomped on it. I reached back and swatted his leg and told him to stop that sh** he spit in my face. When I turned around to wipe it off he grabbed me by my hair and yanked it as hard as he could. Pulling my neck muscles. My youngest then punched him in the mouth which made the oldest hit my husband in the back of the head, while driving down the interstate. Finally we had to pull over and the youngest got p front and I sat in the back. We got home my neck was already starting to swell I was a nervous mess. My husband went next door and got a little bourbon and had me drink it. I calmed down and my husband took my son to mamaws and we went to bed. I got this am (well pm but I hd a rough night) I cannot turn my neck, I am more than a little depressed and hopeless as what to do with my kid. Then the tooth I needed a root canal on finally broke as I was chewing a tootsie roll. My neck hurts now my mouth hurts and I can't get into the dentist till next week.

[Miracle1986]

my oh my! I'm sooo sorry!
gentle for you

[Muser]

You poor thing. That sounds awful. What a disappointment after working so hard on getting ready. Children can be such a handful.

I hope every one has calmed down and you can get some rest. (I went to the dentist today myself for a broken tooth so I can relate)

Wishing you the best.

[RyuB]

good grief. what that's putting you through. are your kids often like that, or rarely?

[Travelinglady]

That was a terrible experience! Kids can be such pains--and cause such pains! So sorry it all happened......

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by RyuB

good grief. what that's putting you through. are your kids often like that, or rarely?

My oldest son is autistic and very violent. It makes even worse that he's 5'4 and 172 lbs. My mamaw has partial guardianship so she has to sign also to get him hlp and she refuses to. My son's outrages has landed me in the ER twice this year and she still won't sign the release

[kitty004567]

Can you not petition the court to overrule her? Surely if you're in physical danger there's something to be done....

How about letting her have him for a week or so then maybe she would change her mind.

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by kitty004567

Can you not petition the court to overrule her? Surely if you're in physical danger there's something to be done....

I want but she gives me quilt trips even when he just stays one night over here.

Tishie: She has him M-F and he has seen what he's like. She makes excuses for him. Her favorite one is "He's damaged from where you spanked him when he was 3" The reason I spanked him was cause I was doing dishes and heard my then 2 week old son squalling. I turned around and my oldest was bent over the bouncy chair clawing him. The baby had 4 cuts down his forehead. Her excuse for Halloween was because "he was tired, and you now how it feels to be tired."

[lynn P.]

Sorry this happened ((thunderbear)). I feel sorry your neck is now more injured than before. I think you should do what Tishie recommended and get a court to over rule the judgement - so you can get the proper treatment for your son.

Did you tell the dentist office, that your tooth problem is an emergency or try another dentist. I hope your circumstances improve soon.

[KUREHA]

Sorry that happened - hope your neck is ok now

[lonegael]

((((((((((((Thunderbear)))))))))))))))) Even normal kids don't always have tthe brakes on them that keep them from hurting others when they throw fits. My son, if he is ill, can really hurt me, and he is nowhere near as big as your boy is (he also has autism), though he rarely, rarely hurts others. It's simply that when a certain level of chaos in their system gets passed, they snap. I'm sure you know that as well as I. I'm just not sure your mamaw does.

It's easy for others to use that against parents. It's easy to try to see patterns that aren't there or to try to see the behavor as spoiled, or as simple anger, and see any attempot to get other help as an attempt to dodge responsibility, when it is just the opposite. I would argue with the diagnosis, your son is in dire need of this care and that he is being wrongly denied help that he will need to survive in the world as an adult.

Hugggs dear. I can't imagine what your mamaw thinks she is accomplishing seeing you in the hospital and him being held responsible for putting you there. it seems so very wrong to both of you.

[thunderbear]

Lynn The dentist worked me in from the x-rays, my tooth was split right thru the root. I guess thats why it hurt so bad.

Kureah Thanks sweet. I hope you are doing well today

Lonegeal I am terrfied of my son. I know that sounds bad but he is the size of a man. One day, I am afraid he'll wind up in prison. I m going to talk to her tonight mabye I can talk some sense into her

[lonegael]

Thunderbear, hon, I totally understand. He's strong, he's big, and he doesn't really have good control over what he does. If he ends up in prison, he'll be a sitting duck because of his disorder. you are so right to feel the way you do. I know that you have contacts with social services, but I know they arent' totally uncomplicated from your earlier posts. Is there someway they could be some help with your problem with mamaw here? Would you rather they weren't involved? I totally understand if this were so, hon. take good care of yourself and the other kids, OK? HUGGGGGGSSSS.

[Crew]

I'm sorry (((((((thunderbear))))))))))))) I'm really sorry!

Crew

[turquoisesea]

oh thunderbear I'm so sorry, I wasn't fully aware of your son's situation. kudos to you for handling this for so long, I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like. Take care, I hope you can find a way to make things better

[Rohag]

Thunderbear! An afternoon and early eve of fun followed by a night of... of... horrid ickiness.

May wisdom, and strength for the wisdom, be yours.

[lynn P.]

I'm happy you got to see your dentist sooner. How is your neck pain?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by thunderbear

I want but she gives me quilt trips even when he just stays one night over here.

Dear thunderbear,

This has gone too far. Simply let your mawmaw know that if he hurts someone else, because she is joint guardian, if you get sued so will someone else you know (She will), and will have to pay medical costs counselling and rehabilitation costs, as well as compensation for pain and suffering and mental and emotional stress and trauma resulting in profound change of lifestyle (actual claims).

Maybe she needs to realise, and understand that when she is gone, and you & your husband are gone, there will be no one there to protect him from his own behaviour or able to treat him because it will be too late. Adults learn much less easily than children do with regard to basic behaviour skills. If she wants him to be left to a world where no one cares if he is autistic or not because of his behaviour, she should keep denying him the treatment that would eventually teach him how to contain his outbursts.

This is scary and sounds awful I know, it isn't mean't to I promise; it's just a bit of truth about the scary world we live in. I have had to nurse and treat teen and adult autism patients and as they get older, people don't see the autism, they only see the person who belted them up. And I've seen 3 in my time be incarcerated in institutions because their violence was never treated. That just cut their lives and freedoms completely. Maybe you should give her the guilt trip for a change and tell her all this stuff. Because he is the one who will suffer in the long run, when she has gone and isn't there to make excuses for him.

I truly hope your neck is feeling better, alternate heat and ice packs may help, but not as much as some reality checking for your mawmaw,

Love and hugs to you dear tbear

[notz]

((((((((((Thunderbear))))))))))))))

Thinking of you and your family and hoping for the best.

[(JD)]

it's just a bit of truth about the scary world we live in

,,,,,,,

[lonegael]

How are you guys doing today, thunderbear?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello thunderbear,

Hope all is going well for you and that your neck feels better. Please remember we are here to support you if you need it,

Love & Hugs to you

Rhiannon

[thunderbear]

Thanks loneangel and Rhi.
Doing good I guess. Just been distracted. My neck still hurts but after all that from the hopital and my doc, I won't go back. At least not yet. I have'nt really talked to my grandmother.

Hello, thunderbear. You might want to take a look at your copy of the guardianship order which appointed your grandmother. The order is supposed to say how long it is to remain in effort and may have expired.

The link for Legal Aid Services in Kentucky is here: http://www.kybar.org/418 You might benefit from calling to see if you are eligible for representation or at least to talk to an attorney about what you may do to help your son. In my view a guardian that refuses to allow your son to get help is not looking out for his best interests, which is grounds for removal.