[Rhiannonsmoon]

I've been completely disabled for a number of years now. I don't like it and I do what I can when I can.

But today in the last hour my DJ had a cardiac arrest and was flown to the city Hospital. There are a number of things that have to be done.

This post is to give an idea of what it feels liketo be the carer even for a short time, until the paramedics took over.

Because I am a trained nurse I was able to help the paramedic. I fitted DJ up for the ECG while the PM looked for a vein for the canula. He eventually found one. I was fine until they put him on the gurney to out him into the ambulance.

I managed to go out to the ambulance, but just couldn't bring myself to get into the ambulance. I felt awful, as if I was abandoning him when he needed me most. I told him I would try to drive into town after sundown but he asked me not to incase I had a seizure (am having them very frequently at the moment), so I promised I wouldn't; after all it was very important to keep him as quiet and calm as possible.

For the time all this happened I felt like the carer. I was the one getting medication together and making sure he was as comfortable as he could be under the circumstances. I love this man so much that I would do anything for him, as he would do for me.

I felt the worry, the concern, the love and the fear that something would happen to him. Wanting to know how he was doing I called the hospital only to be told he had not arrived yet but they were expecting him soon. To wait another hour will feel like a week.

Then I had to tell the family; they are coming down to Tassie tomorrow. It will be wonderful to have them here. For him especially, we are close knit so it means a lot.

Bring the carer isn't easy, and a feeling of intense protectiveness overtook me. Seeing him in such pain that he could hardly move. Now he'll have to be careful, so I will be particularly aware of his needs and I'll I will have a very serious word with the doctor who told him he was fine and go away; a matter of a few very short months ago.

Thank you for reading my little rant. I want carers to know that I'll be much more aware of his feelings, his needs and his need for care of his own, from me. I really hope the people you care for appreciate you, a lot,

Rhiannon

[jilliebeanmn]

Sending prayers and healing thoughts your way!

[KUREHA]

Hope he is ok

Hello, Rhiannonsmoon. You and he are in my thoughts. Kudos to you.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Oh Thank you all so much you have brought tears to my eyes. Just to know that you care enough to read let alone post is very much appreciated.

At times like this, it is easy to see who are friends, and to appreciate them dearly, I really and truly thank you all,

Loving thanks,
Rhiannon

[notz]

Thank you for sharing. I can only imagine how intense those moments were. I hope your dear love is recuperating and getting stronger by the moment. Please, take special care of you now.

I can understand the strength it must of taken to of done the amount you have done already ! Please do not put more stress or worry on you both by trying to go to the hospital, he is with the best of care at the moment so you need to worry a bit more about you....

Hugs to you both

[lonegael]

Thinking of you, Rhiannon. I really hope that he is doing wel now and that his family and youaare able to support each other in his time. Huggs and good for you for being able to be the strong one.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Oh thank you ((((Notz and Lonegael)))), you have no idea how much your posts mean to me. They actually help me to feel stronger, and to feel that what I have done is the right thing.

Your reassurance and support have strengthened me. I may be crying tears right now but they are tears of humble gtratitude that you are thinking of my partner who has been just so wonderful to me and I want to repay his support and love in the best way I can,

Deepest gratitude deepest thanks to you both,
Rhiannon

[RyuB]

not a rant. it made me realize that just because we have problems, there are still people who truly love us anyways; and the way that despite all, your love for him is so strong it's pulling you through a bad time.

[lonegael]

How are things now, Rhiannon? What's the news?

[VickiesPath]

Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Thanks Vickie, Lonegael,

DJ had surgery and is now home. The nurses were really shocked that he was allowed home so early, but maybe because I can look after him and do pills and obs ect. The doctor talked more to me than him I think. But it was technical stuff heart rate, pulse, skin...I had to tell him I knew what to do.

I really do appreciate everyones support and help, it is really important,

Rhiannon

[(JD)]

That's a noble deed, even for a loved one, imo. Care giving is very taxing, so be sure to take good care of yourself. You need to be sure and do things just for you, even if that means begging a neighbor to stand in once in a while? You KNOW what increased stress can do. Glad to hear he's home...and loved.

[lonegael]

How is he taking being the one cared for? Some care givers have a hard time with that. It sounds like you have it kind of nailed down right now, though. How are you managing?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hey there JD , longael,

I think he's realy enjoying it actually lol. He is still sleeping a lot and I think he should be moving around a bit more now. Can't have any clots forming that is the very last thing we need.

It's actually done me good to be moving around more, I've lost a few inches here and there and my depression has been less intent because I've been focused on DJ rather than my gloom.

We're going for a walk on the beach this afternoon so that will be lovely we have 30C here today (86 in the old scale), so I'm looking forward to that...will let you know how he goes,

Thanks again you guys ((((((((Hugs to you))))))))

[Junerain]

I admire your strength, rhianonnsmoon....you are my hero...

[lonegael]

great! Don't forget to take care of youtoo, dear! HUGGGGS!

(((Rhiannon)))

I just now saw your post. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I was an EMT also and sometimes it makes the caring of those we love more painful because we know the risks. I will think of you and your partner with hope and prayers.
Thank you for shaking me out of my way of thinking also. I took things for granted. I was panicked because we have no income. Now, I can see my H sitting next to me and be thankful.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Thanks everyone I really do appreciate your support. I can see him looking and acting a little better each day and I'm really very grateful for that.

You're right Calista +12 love is much more important than anthing else when it comes down to it

[Lilleth]

Glad to know things are improving for you both.