Caring

Hi folks,

Since I have been here at PC, I have noticed that some people have moved on, sometimes quite suddenly. This sadly happens despite the very caring and supportive atmosphere here on this forum of good people.

In my own life I have had several situations when I have needed to move away from something quickly. In one case I left a teaching job which was going well, because I felt some changes starting to happen inside myself. I didn't take sick leave, and I didn't safeguard my pension rights, I just left, and I left in quite a hurry, making whatever excuses I could think of.

What concerns me, is that when we are strugging with a moderate to severe mental ilness, there are two agendas, the agenda of the external world, and the agenda of the illness. Depression plays many tricks on us. It is very easy, for instance, for me to think that certain people don't like me, and I get to believe that they definitely dislike me, or don't want me, only to find that it 'was the depression talking'. However, it is always easiest, and most enticing, to end a chapter, move on, take the phone off the hook. I am sure we know about this stuff.

Over the years I have gradually come to realise when I am hearing the depression talking, but using all the intellect I have, and listening to people with the best goodwill, I still give in to the depression voice sometimes. It can't be said too many times, depression is a very nasty illness, and it is no friend to us. It makes us to be alone, it cuts us off, it tells us that we are better off without the people we have come to know, even if we have come to know them over a period of many years. This is what depression does.

When we lose someone from a support forum, or from any other caring and well meaning social group, we lose a small part of the battle against the illnesses we are here to overcome.

I am here on this forum because I genuinely care about each and every person who suffers a diagnosed mental ilness. I believe that we have to remind ourselves constantly that depression (or whatever we wish to call it) is among us and it plays it's part in separating us from each other, because that is what it does.

Peaceful thoughts, Myzen

I have to say that I have left due to certain personal reasons, it was not due to anyone here, and that after I did a bunch of thinking and dealing, I decided it was safe for me to come back.

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SpazKatt said:
I have to say that I have left due to certain personal reasons, it was not due to anyone here, and that after I did a bunch of thinking and dealing, I decided it was safe for me to come back.

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Hi Spaz,

Wise words, and you came back!

It's good to see you.

Cheers, M

Very good comments, Myzen. It's hard to lose the friends we have made here, but people keep coming and going, sometimes when we least expect it. It's hard because we do care about them, and have felt them care about us too.

I like your reminder, too, that depression is no friend to us. For some of us, it is so familiar, just like those friends that come and go, and it is hard to remember not to listen to it.

There are healthy reasons and ways to leave a forum or support group like this, as well as less than healthy ones. Either way, it can be hard to say goodbye.

Great post M,

Take good care,
Fuzzy

Thank you Myzen, for this insightful look into depression and it's effects on our lives. Depression, is indeed, no friend of ours.

My best,

Jan

As always Myzen, wise words. Could not be better said. You are a great communicator.

Yah good job M! Depression really does cloud your thinking, it's like a little demon sitting on your shoulder and you have to work hard to recognize him and flick him off when he's deciving you!

Myzen,

Well said my friend. As usual, very insightful.

Huggles