[ivyblessed]

Friday morning very early I took the dog out, and when I came back the door was locked. I knocked on the door and my son came downstairs to open it and he was covered in blood. It was horrific, I grabbed my keys and rushed him to the closest ER. Without going into all the details, let me tell you I feel enormous guilt and remorse for not trying to find him help sooner.

At the ER they determined the wound was close enough to the artery that they needed to transfer him to another facility close by where there was a more experienced trauma unit. I in retrospect should have gone in the ambulance, but I didn't, I drove myself & then was delayed by the hospital protocol for almost an hour before I was reunited with my son. They had stapled the wound and it seemed we were waiting for the psychiatrist or social worker to come and talk with us.

A X-ray tech came into the room and unhooked all of his monitors and blood pressure and other wires on him and started to wheel him out of the room, saying he need to take an x-ray (which didn't make sense as the other hospital had done all that) less than 30 sec later, the x-ray guy came back with the bed and said something to the effect of "I got the wrong patient" lowered the bed and then walked out, leaving all the monitoring devices unconnected.

I really don't know exactly what happened next it was so fast. My son turned to me and said something like "I wonder what this is like" slide to the end of the bed and took off sprinting butt naked down through the ER.

I couldn't grab him, he was too fast and no one seemed to notice, I screamed "grab him" and as he rounded the corner of the ER he encountered some of the medical campus police, who then tackled him and stopped him. Unfortunately an officer sustained an injury when they stopped my son as he was determined to escape and tried to get away even when he was down on the ground.

Now my son is being charged with two counts of assaulting an officer & trying to reach for the officer's gun is an additional charge. They have taken him into custody (the medical university police) and are going to give him to the county jail psych unit when the medical doctors say he is physically recovered enough from his self inflicted wounds to leave the university medical facility.

I am not allowed to see him, talk to him, or the doctors, it is just a nightmare. Can someone help me legally to understand my rights, my son's rights?

[Perna]

Oh, Ivyblessed, how horrific for you! I'm glad your son is medically all right.

Do you have a lawyer or friends who can help, know the system a little? How old is your son?

You can't blame yourself, like you say, you couldn't catch him before he streaked down the hall. There's no way you could know, even from depressed or upset emails/communications with your son what he was going to do. I think he does trust and care for you or he wouldn't have opened the front door he'd locked? Looks like he does want help and maybe a little time in the prison psych ward will give him time to think and maybe you and he/the system can come up with a better support system for him? If he doesn't have other convictions or hasn't gotten into trouble, it probably will not be too bad (one of my sons was in prison for almost a year and it turned out to be a bit helpful for him, despite all the hassle).

I don't know if this will help? http://www.prisonlaw.com/cases.php

[ivyblessed]

Oh Perna, thank you for this information. I don't have a lawyer yet and most care professionals seem to think that these charges might be dropped, due to the ER not taking proper precautions knowing he was suicidal and coming from another ER to this one. I am really distressed and overwhelmed with all of it. The suicide attempt was a lot to take in, but now to be faced with the possibility of huge costs legally, and the prospect of formal charges against him going on his record. I just am barely coping. He is 20yrs old, and yes I am relieved he is alive; they won't give me an update medically or emotionally; i have been blacked out of any communication due to the police involvment.

[RyuB]

it's not a lot of consolation, i guess, and certainly not a guarantee, but i tried many times, ending up in hospital and a couple of times being medivaced elsewhere. As far as i can tell, i'm recovered, admitterdly not without the help of medications.

and i don't know what it's like in the states, i'm from canada, and have been in a psych hospital twice now, and as long as you cooperate they are very nice to you. i don't know if that applies where your son is.

but yes, at first, they won't allow you to see him. this is normal procedure. give it a couple of days, perhaps ask for an interview with the psych who is treating him.

[madisgram]

ivy, welcome to pc. your experience must have been horrifying. i'm relieved your son is ok, albeit that the hospital was negligent. i am not a lawyer but can't see how any of this was your son's fault re the police. he was emotionally unstable at the time. hopefully this can be resolved and your son get the help he needs. i know you must have been terrified to see him after he opened the door.
i wouldn't ever take him to that hospital again for any reason. hopefully there is another hospital nearby but if he gets help that info may not be necessary.
hope you will keep us informed re yourself and your son.

[ivyblessed]

RyuB thank you for your comments. The reason they are not letting me see him is due to the police involvement. He has been charged with three felony charges due to them stopping him involuntarily and him fighting to get free. He is in police custody now.

[ivyblessed]

Madisgram, thank you for your hugs and understanding. Thankfully you see right away that the hospital was negligent and didn't or wasn't prepared to properly care for my child. It WAS horrific, i am only just now today realizing the extent of how much I have been holding myself together up to this point. Thank goodness for this site, or I'd really be going stir crazy with no support.
I only wish I"d know of this sooner to have shown it to my son when he was having so many questions. I realize now I totally missed all the cues he gave me.

You are right I will never take him back for any psychiatric care to that medical facilitity; however, that is the main medical center my coverage supports unfortunately I will have to deal with the physicians and support teams to an extent.

Hopefully, once the arraignment happens, and hopefully the charges are dismissed, we can get him in for evaluation to a private psychiatric facility.

Again, hugs to you and thank you for your support and just being here!

oh love your tag line... My son is a huge fan of Ann

[ivyblessed]

No i really don't have a lawyer, or anyone who can help apart from my eldest son, and he has a pretty full plate himself right now. I was hoping to be able to get some ideas legally on what my rights are as the parent of an adult, and what his rights are as a compromised, and mentally unstable young adult. It seems that he has been sucked almost entirely into the system, and instead of being a patient, he has become a criminal.

Originally Posted by Perna

Oh, Ivyblessed, how horrific for you! I'm glad your son is medically all right.

Do you have a lawyer or friends who can help, know the system a little? How old is your son?

You can't blame yourself, like you say, you couldn't catch him before he streaked down the hall. There's no way you could know, even from depressed or upset emails/communications with your son what he was going to do. I think he does trust and care for you or he wouldn't have opened the front door he'd locked? Looks like he does want help and maybe a little time in the prison psych ward will give him time to think and maybe you and he/the system can come up with a better support system for him? If he doesn't have other convictions or hasn't gotten into trouble, it probably will not be too bad (one of my sons was in prison for almost a year and it turned out to be a bit helpful for him, despite all the hassle).

I don't know if this will help? http://www.prisonlaw.com/cases.php

[ECHOES]

What a shocking experience that must have been for you.

Often a psych unit will bar visitors, even family, for several weeks. It happened with my son.
The medical and psych staff doing the evaluating don't know what the family situation is. Some family situations are violent and abusive. Keeping the patient safe means having to disallow visitation for a while.

He's going to be okay You're going to be okay

Right now, his evaluation is important so they can see what help he needs for the long term so he can have a healthy and meaningful and full life. This part will pass and then he will be on his way to feeling much better.

[ivyblessed]

Echoes, I totally hope and pray with all my heart that this is the way it will be. I was not asked because of the evaluation to be blacked out of his treatment; it was the police doing the blocking of information to me because he is now a prisoner legally. He isn't being treated just as a patient. He is being treated as a criminal patient. This is a travesty of the system. I don't mind not being in contact with him while a psych evalu is going on. but right now he is restrained in a bed and under police arrest.
He wasn't running to hurt anyone, he was running to escape. Officers were hurt when they tried to stop him from running. Now he is charged with assault. He was completely out of his mind and stark naked; this is a very modest person...in his right mind he'd of never ever done that. Thank you for your responses. I do appreciate it.

Originally Posted by ECHOES

What a shocking experience that must have been for you.

Often a psych unit will bar visitors, even family, for several weeks. It happened with my son.
The medical and psych staff doing the evaluating don't know what the family situation is. Some family situations are violent and abusive. Keeping the patient safe means having to disallow visitation for a while.

He's going to be okay You're going to be okay

Right now, his evaluation is important so they can see what help he needs for the long term so he can have a healthy and meaningful and full life. This part will pass and then he will be on his way to feeling much better.

[lonegael]

Ivyblessed, I cna't add much right now to what the others have said, but I do want you to know that most likely they will find that he was not mentally competant at the time that he resisted arrest. Hang in there, and HUGGS. this sounds like a real nightmare for you.

[little*rhino]

i'm very sorry for your situation ivy.. many blessings to you sugar

unfortunately, unless you get a power of attourney signed over to you somehow, there aren't any rights for you as the parent. i feel bad saying that but it's the way it is. Once a person is a legal adult, unless they are declared legally incompetent (a court proceding) then the parents or even spouses have no rights or say. WHen my ex husband was in a psych unit for attempting, they wouldn't even confirm he was in there and we were married at the time.

Try checking with your local NAMI chapter - they can direct you to resources

[ivyblessed]

Thank you so much lonegael

Hugs back to you ... and yes it is a nightmare; but I am at this time more concerned with my son's state of mind and how he is being treated than anything at all.

Originally Posted by lonegael

Ivyblessed, I cna't add much right now to what the others have said, but I do want you to know that most likely they will find that he was not mentally competant at the time that he resisted arrest. Hang in there, and HUGGS. this sounds like a real nightmare for you.

[ivyblessed]

\
Little rhino, thank you so much for you words, it means a great deal to me. I am beside myself with concern and yes, anger. I realize when the police took custody, they advised me unless there was a waiver signed by him, they didn't have to release any information. Naturally, I am sure they haven't asked him to sign any waivers. I have tried calling the local NAMI chapter but this happened on Friday, I didn't know the full charges until 7pm and at that point it was too late. Everything grinds legally to a halt on Friday and doesn't start up again until Monday. Fortunately, today I was able to locate a Criminal Defense Attorney that probably can get into the medical hospital he is being held at as long as they don't transfer him tonight. I am trying hard to keep a good attitude and stay strong, for I know we are just at the beginning of this battle, on many fronts.
If there ever was an example of why not to put off seeking therapy, this is IT! I knew my son was having trouble, but i just didn't know how bad the trouble was; or i guess I didn't pay attention to how serious it really was for him apparently. I can't dwell on that, but i know it is true, this might have been totally preventable on many levels, if i'd just pushed him into therapy. Anyway thank you so much for the kind words.

Originally Posted by little*rhino

i'm very sorry for your situation ivy.. many blessings to you sugar

unfortunately, unless you get a power of attourney signed over to you somehow, there aren't any rights for you as the parent. i feel bad saying that but it's the way it is. Once a person is a legal adult, unless they are declared legally incompetent (a court proceding) then the parents or even spouses have no rights or say. WHen my ex husband was in a psych unit for attempting, they wouldn't even confirm he was in there and we were married at the time.

Try checking with your local NAMI chapter - they can direct you to resources

[ECHOES]

If there ever was an example of why not to put off seeking therapy, this is IT! I knew my son was having trouble, but i just didn't know how bad the trouble was; or i guess I didn't pay attention to how serious it really was for him apparently. I can't dwell on that, but i know it is true, this might have been totally preventable on many levels, if i'd just pushed him into therapy.

Dear Ivy, please don't be unkind to you. You did exactly what you thought needed to be done at the time, and that's all anyone can do. In many cases, it is not possible to push someone into therapy.

In my case, my son entered into voluntary treatment that was a choice: inpatient or outpatient. I had to file 'unruly child' charges to get the legal system to 'give' him that choice because I could not do it on my own. He completed inpatient drug treatment, but has never embraced therapy because he is convinced medication is all he needs. He's an adult now and makes his own choice, but I still encourage therapy because he still needs it, even though medication surely helps him tremendously.

We do what we can do. Sometimes these legal events can be the way to help. I'm hoping this is the case with your son.

Meanwhile, please don't assign blame to you. It does no good.

[sunsetsunrise]

(((((Ivy))))) I am so sorry to hear about this horrible situation that you write of. I do not believe that your Son can be held accountable for his actions. However the hospital technician and other personel there should be held accountable for having unhooked all of his wires etc. And for not monitoring a suicidal patient more carefully. THEY are accountable.

I believe that a good lawyer can get the case against your son dropped. Because of his mental condition, and the neglegence of the hospital. AND sue the hospital for negligence.

Ivy, This was not your fault. I think you would know this to say to another mom who was in the exact same circumstances. Hindsight is always 20/20. But it can be extremely judgemental. Often people who are suicidal are experts at hiding it from everyone. Please give yourself the words you would give to someone whose son was in the same situation. I am thinking of you both. Truely.

[Princess_Obsidian]

Greetings,

So tragic, my prayers are with you.

Have a good one.

[Crew]

((((((Ivy))))))))

I am so glad your son is okay medically and that he was stopped. Hopefully you can get a lawyer soon and hopefully they can
help your son in a psych place better then at a jail.

This Has to be hard on you and I am so very sorry for your pain,

Your will be in my thoughts and prayers and even though I don't know you and that I can't offer anything of value as in help I can be thinking of you guys and wishing for the best....Hopefully the lawyer can help your son and you. A therapist for both of you guys wouldn't be a bad idea either.

I'm so sorryagain for both you and your son.
Oh by the way, welcome to PsychCentral
Crew

[lonegael]

How are you doing Ivyblessed? Any news about your son?

[Sabrina]

I am very sorry for what you and your son have had to endure. Please do keep us updated on how he is doing. And don't forget to take a little time to be kind to yourself as well.

[sugahorse1]

I cannot offer advice, but you really are in my thoughts - this is terrible to have to go through... (((HUGS)))

[venusss]

((((((((((Ivy)))))))))))

[VickiesPath]

((((((((((( Ivy ))))))))))

[lynn P.]

(((ivyblessed)) - I'm so very sorry for what you and your family are going through with your son. Thank God you were there for him and this must have been such a shock. I pray your son will get the help he needs and your family will heal from this.

[little*rhino]

anyone hear from ivy? wondering how it's going now that it's in the week...

sending blessings of calm, peace and strength... be patient, the world turns, just not at the speed we'd wish.