charity on a different note (prbly sour note too)

someone braught up a topic about charity and it really stired some stuff up in me. I no longer trust or know who to give charity to outside of ppl I actually see with my own eyes who it is going to. There have been so many decievers out there that I guess I just don't trust. Some times I think maybe I shouldn't be that way but darn, I'm tired of ppl benefitting off others misfortunes. This bothers me being like this at times and just wondering if I have just a rottin outlook or if I'm not alone in it or both.
larks

I think there is something called a healthy distrust... and certainly with all the profiteers out there these days, it can be wise! Taking time to check into the finances and history of an organization is a good thing. One of the parameters I have is that no more than 5% of their income goes to administration/staffing!

There's a "homeless" group down here who has permission to solicit from people at traffic lights... when I checked into them, the "homeless" ppl collecting the money are actually HIRED from an agency, and they "made" $600,000 last year, with less than$50,000 going to the actual "homeless" in the area!

Also, there is a difference between a charity and a non-profit organization.... that might make a difference to you, too.

TC

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Lrks, I feel the same way as you do. When I can, I do my charitable deeds one on one. I see nothing wrong with that.

no you dont have a rotten outlook, you are a reallist, i am not averse to giving to charity but i only "give" to organisations that have worked with me, mental health drop-in centres, food kitchens, homeless day centres, night shelters, ect, i know they are desperatly underfunded as i have been there, on the recieving end, so my contribution is to help out when i can, with my time, not cash.

Hi.

Once when my youngest daughter was at work in a restaurant...A lady rushed in and yelled that she was desperate for ten dollars. She was crying and quite upset.

My daughter pulled out $10.00 from her pocket and gave it to the woman. She said thank you and that she would return & pay her back. The ten bucks was all "J" had left until payday.

My daughter's co-workers teased her all nite long anout how daffy and gullible "J" was. Her reply was that that is one of the reasons we are put on this Earth. To help other.

Well..the lady never repaid my daughter..thus I asked her if she had changed her mind about being so trusting. She said that she was not sorry at all.

I worry for my daughter as she is so trusting. It hurts for me to see her taken advantage of.

thank you for responding. Some times I have such fear/peranoia of ppl in general that I just do not want it to be that.
Yes, sky non for profit I tend to look at more but it also has to be one I can see and know of personally.
larks

yep dottie. I wonder where the line is of being to trusting is.
larks

I'm the same way. I need to be sure the places I give to are legit. Plus, I don't have that much money, so I need to be pretty conservative to where I give and how much. Sometimes I feel I'm being selfish, but there's no point in giving when there's nothing left for myself.

You're a good person, who's being smart in giving. Hugs.

(((((((((((((SS))))))))))))))))) thanx!
My wish would be I had all the money ever dreamed of and I could give to everyone that needed it and of course in that wish just an automatic knowing of those who are out to take advantage of others. Didn't have to worry if I'm being peranoid, selfish, bad day or what have you. Wow! I like this wishing stuff.
larks

wow! mellors, I don't think I've ever been called a realist before. most times I either hear or get the impression others think I am just the opposite.

Good to know not alone SeptMorn. My head gets so scrambled some times don't know which way is up or down. Just coming out of peranoid state and decided instead of sitting on this topic gona bring it out and see if I'm just wacked or what have you. Don't have anyone to run things by since pushed away so many even T. Darn ok don't want to ramble.
larks

I got really skeptical when I started taking my son to Saturday morning bowling. There was one woman who always complained about her welfare benefits not being good enough, but then would boast about the Mexico trip she'd just put on her charge card. A year later, she was soliciting funds for her son to go to Australia for a bowling tournament that cost $5000 for one person. She even held some fund raiser through a local pizza parlor. I didn't donate. Shortly before the trip, her 30-ish year old husband had a "stroke", had to walk with a cane and wear sunglasses indoors, and yet was up and walking around by the next weekend and was sitting in the bowling alley bar smoking and drinking bloody Mary's.

I felt really bad for all of the people who donated.

wi fighter,
deffinately those are the type that take advantage. We deffinately need to be careful don't we?! I hate that and some times just want to not give to no one to make it easier. Yep, I know that is prbly running along the lines of the way I don't want to be.
larks

I won't say I haven't questioned some of my giving.. several weeks ago, before I left the house, I counted my paper cash. This is something I never do, as I don't spend cash and really usually carry a $20. Well, I had only a few dollars in cash. So? That afternoon, as I was coming out of myT's office, a lady was there, I passed by her and she called me back. HUH? She asked for $6.75 to catch the bus to the rail to get to Boca. I told her I didn't have that much, but pulled out the singles. I told her, " Now it's up to you to use it properly." I really don't feel poorly about this, even though I question her need.. as I was prepared (by God, I think) to give that day... plus, she earned it.. how clever a ploy I thought: psychologically I enjoyed it, she asked for an amount that would render ppl to believe her, plus might even get her a $10 from someone without change! She let me pass by, and called me back: how bold! I think of them as street actors... and if they entertain me, I give.

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

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I just came home from my last visit of the day. I will give detail without interpretation.

Couple, 60 and 59. He has every illness known to man, needs oxygen and a lot of stuff just to keep going. They are both disabled.

They bought a property and home in 1997.

They paid their mortgage on time.

They have a low life son and a daughter in law who yells at them living there. Neither of the younger people work. They have a grand daughter and a young adult grandson living there.

Several of the rooms lack electricity. Wires are bad.

They run extension cords.

Last year he put a truck onto his mortgage note and as it was being fixed up, before insurance, it burned. $1,800 up in smoke. They have no money for anything. wiring is bad and costs 260 mo0nthly electric. This woman's sister also lives there. The grand son who works gives money toward electric etc. The gran daughter is young but seems sweet and helpful.

They have a forclosure as they have not been able to pay on the 1,800. They are both frail and have NO HOPE. I asked the man what the hardest thing in his life and he said getting up in the morning, having to greet his world. The son and son's wife have three big dogs. There is dog poo everywhere in and out and the house is really uncomfortable for me as it is so dirty.

So I can work on helping with re-wiring and with the forclosure. I will get them an attorney and they can probably re-finance with a program for low income and disabled. The wife seems developmentally delayed.

So I can judge this family, the poo everywhere and the worthless son and daughter in law. But why? They are trying to live. The parents can't control what the kids do and they are trying to keep a roof over the grandchildren.

If I had the money it would be their's in a moment. Seems like a small thing, a few thosand dollars to set things right. A guardian and some good case management. But alas I do not. I watch the dogs scratch for fleas. I watch one with spinal cord damage and think he could be a very remarkable pet without fleas.

So, this is my life. I see this often, watch animals suffer. See people in pain and suffering. Money would sure as heck help these people, not judgement. But people will judge and some won't. The man who runs the new wires won't judge. He will do it as a favor. The electrician will bless the project and hook it up, without charge, and the attorney will do what attorneys do, advocate for their clients.

I don't know what all this means, just that it ain't all black and white.

wisewoman thank you for sharing for it is a story that makes me grateful for what I do have. It also makes me that much angrier at those who take advantage of those who are truely in need.
lrks

Though I have been way down the toilet cash wise I still give to some places where I know it will be used 100% people in need.....I also give to street people I know they could be scamming me but maybe they arent..I do not think any act of kindness is wasted.....maybe someone is scamming others but those who give are the one who gain blessings

That's an awesome thought. We are blessed by giving.