[maxierebecca]

I was just wondering if anyone on this site has or knows someone(whose either a teen or young adult) with Selective Mutism, and could give me advice. I was lucky to be diagnosed when i was around age seven and was very fortunate to have a mother that uses applied behavior analysis and developed a plan with my first grade teacher to help me with my fears and talk to people. For those of you that don't know, SM is a severe form of childhood anxiety that manifests into the inability to speak in social situations. I'm now almost sixteen and its getting hard to hide it from my friends. They've started to realize that I'm not, what is said to be, a 'normal' teenager. I hate going to the mall, parties, or being in groups with people that I don't know. My friends think that I'm just really shy and tell me to get over it. They don't get that I physically and mentally can't bring myself to do things that draw attention to me or that I find uncomfortable. I've lost friends because of this, and every time I have tried to explain what's wrong I can't. I get extremely anxious and can't bring myself to even say the name of my disorder because the second I do people always ask what it is, and it makes me even more uncomfortable. I am on medication which helps with things like talking in class and things along that line, but people think I'm really weird because I'm not as loud, or expressive as all the other students. If anyone could share their experiences or share advice it would be very appreciated! Thank you!

[lynn P.]

(((maxierebecca)) - I think you're brave for discussing this and thank God you have a supportive mother - God bless her for that. I don't know anyone with SM but I saw it on a show once. I was wondering, would it help if an expert came to your class and explained what SM is? My daughter was in the same class with a hearing impaired boy for 8 yrs and every so often when the classes changed, an expert would come in and explain the challenges this boy has - this created empathy and understanding in the classroom.

I hope you can meet some other people who have this or know someone personally. Is there an online support group where others like yourself can share their challenges? It wonderful that you were diagnosed early and have recieved the proper help. Maybe you can share more about SM and I was wondering, will it get better as you get older?

[WikidPissah]

yes Maxi....I've had this most of my life, and it was left untreated for years. Back in the very early 70's when I was in school the nuns would scold me and rap my fingers with a ruler for not answering questions. Even though every test and homework grade was an A, they would flunk me for "not participating in class". School was hell, and I can only imagine what you are going thru. I do hope you have a counselor or therapist to talk to. Even though your mom is great, and outside person always comes in handy. Keep up with a psychiatrist too, because new anxiety meds have gotten better and better.

Best wishes to you my friend, you are not alone.

[anna342]

This post stood out for me, I have not been diagnosed with selective mutism at any point and don't think I really have/had it, but I can certainly identify with it. I spent a lot of time at school in my teens unable to speak. I could at times and it wasn't constant, but for the large majority of my lessons and time outside of them I would not talk. I was very much living inside of my head. No one ever picked up on it as it was more about just being a bit quiet to them. It occasionally happens still, I will sit in silence around other people. I get urges to not talk often, out of fear, repercusions of what I say and just wanting peace. Sometimes I fight it and just end up in a state of huge anxiety inside and will begin to cry or shake or both.

I guess I'm just trying to say I think I understand, and I know you're not alone with this.

[kikki27]

Originally Posted by maxierebecca

I was just wondering if anyone on this site has or knows someone(whose either a teen or young adult) with Selective Mutism, and could give me advice. I was lucky to be diagnosed when i was around age seven and was very fortunate to have a mother that uses applied behavior analysis and developed a plan with my first grade teacher to help me with my fears and talk to people. For those of you that don't know, SM is a severe form of childhood anxiety that manifests into the inability to speak in social situations. I'm now almost sixteen and its getting hard to hide it from my friends. They've started to realize that I'm not, what is said to be, a 'normal' teenager. I hate going to the mall, parties, or being in groups with people that I don't know. My friends think that I'm just really shy and tell me to get over it. They don't get that I physically and mentally can't bring myself to do things that draw attention to me or that I find uncomfortable. I've lost friends because of this, and every time I have tried to explain what's wrong I can't. I get extremely anxious and can't bring myself to even say the name of my disorder because the second I do people always ask what it is, and it makes me even more uncomfortable. I am on medication which helps with things like talking in class and things along that line, but people think I'm really weird because I'm not as loud, or expressive as all the other students. If anyone could share their experiences or share advice it would be very appreciated! Thank you!

Hi welcome too the chat I suffer from real bad social anxiety dont like too go out freak out when I see big crowds of people panic all the time just letting you know that you are not alone you are so brave too open up about yourself.Now Iam going too let you know about me Iam 28 years old was suffering every since I was a little girl would hide from people and would run under the table with my sister was always told I was shy now I look back it it was not shyness It was social anxiety and adhd .Huggs

[wing]

Welcome Maxie! I have severe social anxiety and suffered much the same way. DBT has helped me step out a lot more. Maybe you could google it, then you could come to the online chat on DBT here and see if it is a comfortable starting place. Therapists do DBT as well.

[maxierebecca]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

(((maxierebecca)) - I think you're brave for discussing this and thank God you have a supportive mother - God bless her for that. I don't know anyone with SM but I saw it on a show once. I was wondering, would it help if an expert came to your class and explained what SM is? My daughter was in the same class with a hearing impaired boy for 8 yrs and every so often when the classes changed, an expert would come in and explain the challenges this boy has - this created empathy and understanding in the classroom.

I hope you can meet some other people who have this or know someone personally. Is there an online support group where others like yourself can share their challenges? It wonderful that you were diagnosed early and have recieved the proper help. Maybe you can share more about SM and I was wondering, will it get better as you get older?

Thanks, and truly I would say yes and no to your question. At somethings like ordering at a restaurant or making friends becomes easier, but things like speaking up in class, going into stores by myself, or being the center of attention is still VERY DIFFICULT and makes me VERY ANXIOUS. To answer you question about a professional coming to speak about SM I never thought of that, and it is a good idea as long as no one knew it was about me.