[pedsnursisme]

At the end of Feb, I had a mild heart attack leading to a cardiac cath. The RCA was 90% blocked and was stented. The LAD was 50% blocked and the decision was made to treat medically.

This past Friday night, I started having chest pain and shortness of breath while at work and went to the ER. They determined that I was NOT having a heart attack, but kept me overnight for a nuclear stress test the next morning. The imaging was fine, but the ekg showed changes. The cardiologist gave me the option to wait and see or go for a cath Monday. Together, we decided on the cath.

There were complications during the cath involving the LAD dissecting and a clot coming off the wire lodging in a branch of the circumflex artery, causing a heart attack on the table. I was awake the entire time and it was honestly terrifying. It doesn't help that I'm a nurse and understood a fair amount of what was being said. I had the worst pain I've ever felt. I knew there were a couple of times during it that they couldn't figure out what was wrong. I really thought at one point that I was going to die right there.

Now that I've been home, I'm having a very difficult time coping with all this. I cried nonstop the day I left the hospital and the next day. I cannot get that memory out of my head. I'm scared to death that something else will happen and that I'll die. My cardiologist is great and has been very reassuring. It's just hard to get past that fear.

Is this normal? I have a preexisting diagnosis also of bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD. Top that off with being diagnosed with Sarcoidosis a month ago. This is not a great time in my life.

[bebop]

hi..I am sorry you had this experience. I understand a heart attack during a cath can cause a heart attack. I had to have one years ago and it really scared me just to have to have it done. Also depression after a heart attack pretty much happens to everyone. I think it makes us realize our own mortality. Maybe talk to your cardio and ask him for some meds to help get you thru it.

[lynn P.]

((((pedsnursisme))) - I think how you're feeling is justified considering the trauma you went through. Not only did you have incredible pain, but you also feared you were dying. You might even be having some PTSD going on. The fact you're a nurse and knew more than the average person, also increased the fear. This is one time, it would be better not to know what's going on. If it's any consolation, I would be a nervous wreck too. I pray you will get over this hurdle and the emotional consequences that came with it.

[Gilead]

Originally Posted by pedsnursisme

At the end of Feb, I had a mild heart attack leading to a cardiac cath. The RCA was 90% blocked and was stented. The LAD was 50% blocked and the decision was made to treat medically.

This past Friday night, I started having chest pain and shortness of breath while at work and went to the ER. They determined that I was NOT having a heart attack, but kept me overnight for a nuclear stress test the next morning. The imaging was fine, but the ekg showed changes. The cardiologist gave me the option to wait and see or go for a cath Monday. Together, we decided on the cath.

There were complications during the cath involving the LAD dissecting and a clot coming off the wire lodging in a branch of the circumflex artery, causing a heart attack on the table. I was awake the entire time and it was honestly terrifying. It doesn't help that I'm a nurse and understood a fair amount of what was being said. I had the worst pain I've ever felt. I knew there were a couple of times during it that they couldn't figure out what was wrong. I really thought at one point that I was going to die right there.

Now that I've been home, I'm having a very difficult time coping with all this. I cried nonstop the day I left the hospital and the next day. I cannot get that memory out of my head. I'm scared to death that something else will happen and that I'll die. My cardiologist is great and has been very reassuring. It's just hard to get past that fear.

Is this normal? I have a preexisting diagnosis also of bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD. Top that off with being diagnosed with Sarcoidosis a month ago. This is not a great time in my life.

I think it's normal. All I can do is relate your experience to mine. 10+ years ago (I was oh so much younger) I had a major heart attack that required quadruple bypass surgery - was in cardiac intensive care for a week or so to stabilize before surgery. Yes, it's frightening. Within a year I told my then cardiologist that I was having chest pain - he scheduled a stress test - once he reviewed the results he called to tell me there were siginificant blockages and we'd need to do a cath to assess where we were.

During the procedure I looked up at his face and saw a look of panic that you really don't want to see in the person that has your life in his hands. All the grafts had withered away (he made a snap foolish diagnosis of vasculitis). He called in the surgeon right away and he took one look and said no to resurgery - too risky. I was then left with pain, very little blood flow, a terrible ejection fraction and no where to turn. That cardiologist wouldn't even attempt to repair it nor would 5 others that I visited. I finally found a cardiologist that simply said it's a quality of life issue and you're too young to go around the rest of your life wearing a nitro patch and being limited in every other way.

He took the risk (I guess we both did) of going in via cath - took 4 or 5 hours - I found out later that they stopped all cardiac surgery for the duration because they didn't expect the procedure to go smoothly at all. This guy put multiple stents in any artery that he could manage. He warned me on the way in that things could go very wrong but they didn't. I'm now pretty good - lots of meds but no problems.

I think being scared and reflective of what you just went through is normal. I cried and wondered why I lived - I became very sensitive to things like obitiuaries and people that had just lost loved ones. But, in the end I started to live a little again and have now put the whole thing behind me - had a cardio appt yesterday and everything still looks good. I also struggle (then too) with depression and PTSD.

So, after all of this long-winded junk - yes,you have every reason to feel the way you do - it will resolve over time.

[Perna]

I think depression is very common with heart problems!

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdo...overy/702.html

[Leed]

Dearheart this is ABSOLUTELY normal!!! Of course you're scared, after going thru such trauma!! Being awake thru the whole thing, and experiencing such pain WOULD make you scared. You need to speak to your doctor about this and the possibility of having another attack. Chances are, you will not since they've taken care of the clot. And my guess is that the cath even caused the clot - but I don't know.

I recently had a cath too ~ and I had to sign papers about all the things that could go wrong, and a blot clot was one of them as well as a heart attack. Sure, it scared me but I knew I had to have it done as part of the diagnosis of my problems. Luckily for me, all went well but I knew that the chances were good that it wouldnt.

Bless your heart, PLEASE talk with your doctor. I'm sure he/she can put your mind at ease. I doubt that your chances of having another episode like that are even in the picture. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee