[dpadilla89]

Hey all,
Right now, i feel like i need to be in a hospital for depression, and BAD mood swings. Well, the problem is hospitals do NOT work for me at all. They never have, i've been in there four times in New York-Westchester. I dont know what to do, i dont think if i go back to the hospital it will do much for me and my insurance is ALL up. I used up ALL my inpatient and outpatient days. My therapist at partial like completely brainwashed my mother into sending me too Residential. Honestly, that is going to scar me for life and make it all worse, i know how i am. This is tough for me to make a descion, and in general i can NEVER make descions on my own...so i need help, guys.
If you can, please answer my post, thanks...

deb

[(JD)]

What decision are you having to make? Whether to go to residential willingly or not? Talk to us here.

[dpadilla89]

Weather to go back to the hospital i guess..i really do not want to go to residential for a year...it will scar me...
yeah..

[(JD)]

I think you answered your own question about hospital: no. It won't work for you, unless they are going to adjust your meds and make a long term plan for healing with you. I agree, some ppl get worse in hospital settings.

Now, about the residential.. when does that happen, and how far away, and what age group will you be in with... and why not give that a try, you might find it gives you support you sound like you really need!

[eskielover]

I agree with you about the hospital. I found that it put into a poor mind set.....except when I ended up in the hospital for years it was for my safety....& not my choice then. At times, I landed in the hospital for med adjustment because I have such horrible reactions to the meds they wanted me in a place where I could be observed continually.

I know at the beginning of this when I was having problems with my weight & dealing with the trauma I had just lived through, my psychiatrist wanted me in the hospital because I needed help mentally for going through the trauma, but also needed to be in a place where I could be treated medically because I was really physically sick on top of it. I remember going into the psych ward in the hospital where my pdoc practiced (& had been there before). I walked in & turned around & walked out because I just couldn't handle the thought of feeling like being in a prison which my mind was telling me I felt like (especially after part of the trauma was dealing with the police trying to accuse me & arrest me for abusing my Mother).

The mind does sometimes put limitations in the way of help. It is hard to make that decision to allow ourselves to be placed into a place where we can get help, & part of the help is that we aren't fighting where we are & can get out of it what we need to improve. I think you may need to sit back & think through your options & decide what you will feel comfortable with so that you will be open to improvement. It isn't a decision that anyone else can make for ourselves, but being open to the help we are getting is the only way for improving.

I hope you can get in touch with yourself & figure out the best option. Talking it through is a great way of helping you think it through....& this is a good forum to do that in...& get feedback....hope you can get help that will make your future better than the now.

Debbie