[splitimage]

I had an interesting experience today. I was recently appointed to my psych hospital's governing committee. I got appointed because last fall I saw a call for letters of interest in being involved. So I sent in my resume and applied. Not sure what transpired next, but my resume was forwarded to the empowerment council, who then nominated me for the committee. The empowerment council is the patient's advocacy body that does systemic advocacy both within the hospital and the broader mental health care field. So I got appointed as a "consumer" rep.

Everybody's name tag had their affiliation and what group they were representing on it, so mine simply said consumer. Personally that's not my preferred way of referring to myself, but at this point I'm not going to argue politically correct semantics at a board meeting.

I was talking to a really nice woman from the family council, which means she has a family member who has been treated at the hospital as a patient. She seemed a little baffled that someone who was not on the empowerment council could be a consumer rep and was even more baffled when I explained how I'd applied.

She then told me I really should get involved with the empowerment council as that would give me lots to do. I explained, that I had lots to do at the moment with job hunting and that I was hoping to be working full time by September. This really baffled her.

So she made the comment, "Job hunting's really difficult, and it must be even more so with a disability." This pretty much floored me, as I do not consider myself in any way disabled. I view myself as being in treatment for depression to prevent a reoccurance, I'm in recovery from alcoholism, and I'm currently in treatment for social phobia which I hope will help me overcome my life long extreme shyness. Yes I take meds to keep me functioning, but my intellectual capabilities are not impared.

The fact that I've experienced and recovered from mental illness does not change the fact that I'm a highly skilled accountant with an MBA.

I didn't have the time and frankly I wasn't thinking fast enough at the time to challenger her on her comment. I just thought it was interesting to her that consumer = disabled. Clearly she hasn't bought into the recovery model of care.

So what are your thoughts?

splitimage

[krisakira]

I am disabled by the government standards. I am disabled from working a normal job, and have difficulty doing daily tasks that a healthy person can do. However, I am highly skilled in digital design and was making all A's in college before I had to move. Even though during that last semester I went to the psych ward 4 times. I am also smart in math and science, and am good at problem solving. I have an eagerness to learn, and a sharp mind when it comes to being book-smart. I love music and have a lot of talent in that area. So, essentially, I am good at some things, but living a normal working life is not possible because of my inability to handle stress properly due to mental illnesses from childhood trauma and a predisposition for mental illness in my genes. So, I am still me, I can still do things I enjoy (on good days), and am skilled and talented in a few areas, just like anyone else. However I cannot hold a full time job, so the government helps me out financially.

[krisakira]

But something that has happened to me is that one time my cousin asked me what I am doing these days, and I told him I have disability so I don't work, and he asked me what disability I had, so I said mental disability (he knows I have been through some struggles like panic attacks and self-injury). But he did not understand how I was so mentally compromised that I could not work. To him, I seemed like a normal functional person, and I wonder if he thinks I am cheating the system by being lazy and getting money... But it's always hard to understand mental illnesses especially if you have never experienced it or been around it at all. He just does not understand how much it affects my functioning. But it did insult me the way he reacted to me saying my mental illnesses make me "disabled." I don't use the term as a judgement on myself or anyone, or that we are worse off people. I just say that to explain why I don't have a job. Cause I'm on disability.

[Open Eyes]

((((((Splitimage))))), Well, perhaps that was a test for you. You are going to come across people who are just ignorant and I think you handled it pretty well. You were curtious and you were not combative and the tone in your post is more of a surprise than someone who is injured by a person who obviously needs to be educated about her views and opinions. You werent expecting that, but it is a good thing to think about. What to say to someone like that who perhaps with a few choice words could be educated a little bit to not have the attitude that a person in recovery is perminently disabled.

Chances are that you may encounter her again and perhaps you could spend some time addressing her comment in a way that she may gain knowledge that may also help her treat her family member better. If she is going to view her family member as a disabled person, well, that wouldn't be fair to that family member.

You also have to take into consideration that this woman has been dealing with a family member that may be in treatment and she saw that this family member was diabled by thier addiction. She may actually be very confused about the possiblity of recovery and leading a normal life, after all you do not really know her story. You do know that you are planning goals and have every intention to being productive and your overall attitude is positive. She may not have seen that before in her family member, so you could be an ambassador of hope for her.

I think this approach would be good for you. You have said that you are trying to overcome social phobia. So part of that will be about receiving the comments of others and not internalizing them and feeling they are critiquing you. Because you now are in a position that will entail others expressing their own fears, you can infact work on encouraging them to have courage and think differently about their family member. I think it is good practice for you Splitimage. You will be dealing with head on opinions and concerns about people in recovery in general. And there will be those that may be worn out or dont really understand that it can work, things can improve there is success stories.

Each time you encounter someone new it will be practice in learning how not to allow things said to push you into a retreat. No, instead it will give you an opportunity to become more assertive and develope skills that will help you. So when you do deal with others you can say in your mind, it is not about me, it is comment or a question or a concern. Your not going to have all the right answers yet, you will be surprised, but after a while you will have the right answers and you will learn not to take others so personally.

I hope that helps. It is a good way to learn good skills for you. Your doing well keep moving forward.

Open Eyes

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by krisakira

But something that has happened to me is that one time my cousin asked me what I am doing these days, and I told him I have disability so I don't work, and he asked me what disability I had, so I said mental disability (he knows I have been through some struggles like panic attacks and self-injury). But he did not understand how I was so mentally compromised that I could not work. To him, I seemed like a normal functional person, and I wonder if he thinks I am cheating the system by being lazy and getting money... But it's always hard to understand mental illnesses especially if you have never experienced it or been around it at all. He just does not understand how much it affects my functioning. But it did insult me the way he reacted to me saying my mental illnesses make me "disabled." I don't use the term as a judgement on myself or anyone, or that we are worse off people. I just say that to explain why I don't have a job. Cause I'm on disability.

Well, maybe you should avoid trying to explain yourself as disabled. And dont be hard on yourself or your cousin, people really don't understand it, they just don't. If you saw someone with a broken leg and you never had one your not going to know what it truely feels like.

I think it is better to focus on what activities you are doing, your achievements in spite of not working for what ever reason. At least you inadvertantly got a compliment as whatever your disability is, it isn't showing or stamped on your forehead. You do have to think of the positives here. Just keep focusing on what you can do and you just go girl.

Open Eyes

[krisakira]

Quite honestly, it doesn't matter as much to me anymore... People can think what they want, and that is their problem. If they are willing to learn then I am happy to teach, but in any other instance if they want to think something about me then go ahead cause it doesn't really affect me at all, i still know what's real and what I can do despite my illnesses and how much I have gotten stronger in the past few years. So... eff them...

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by krisakira

Quite honestly, it doesn't matter as much to me anymore... People can think what they want, and that is their problem. If they are willing to learn then I am happy to teach, but in any other instance if they want to think something about me then go ahead cause it doesn't really affect me at all, i still know what's real and what I can do despite my illnesses and how much I have gotten stronger in the past few years. So... eff them...

Good for you, moving along, good to hear.

Open Eyes

[adoptmeplease]

I think the term disability has its merits when used appropriately. I actually prefer the term when applied to myself because no one will take the magnitude of my problems seriously. I think it's just easier for people to dismiss things like social phobia as shyness or depression as laziness. Which is exactly what people have done my whole life and prevented me from getting help sooner, and it's ironic because if I had gotten help years earlier we probably could have prevented it from becoming severe to the point of disability.

[madisgram]

our disabilities do not define who we are. if we had a stroke and on disabillity for example it wouldn't impair our abilities.
in response to her question---i'd say, why do you have that opinion? she'll be combubulated.

[(JD)]

I am hoping she is mistaken with her definition of the Consumer title. You might inquire, if it really matters, but surely they know your details, so she is mistaken.

I wouldn't consider you disabled, from what you share. A consumer of the product (mental health care) yes, an advocate, yes. Thank you for helping.

But a disabled person? Doesn't sound like it to me.

While there are plenty of us who are disabled--and some not from physical maladies--certainly it does not include everyone needing some mental health help!

That could be one of your first goals, to help people realize that needing mental health help does not mean you're disabled! In fact, if more people received help sooner, fewer would be disabled later on, imo.

I don't use the term much myself, but that's mainly for two reasons: one, I don't speak to many people IRL. I mean, my PCA, my PT, my T, my MD, my neuro opthalmologist, my DMD.... yeah, not very social. And two, anyone I meet, if it should extend into information like that, well, they won't believe I'm disabled because I don't "LOOK" disabled! I'm thankful for that, but also appreciated not having to make excuses when I do go out in my motor chair.

Originally Posted by (JD)

I am hoping she is mistaken with her definition of the Consumer title. You might inquire, if it really matters, but surely they know your details, so she is mistaken.

I wouldn't consider you disabled, from what you share. A consumer of the product (mental health care) yes, an advocate, yes. Thank you for helping.

But a disabled person? Doesn't sound like it to me.

While there are plenty of us who are disabled--and some not from physical maladies--certainly it does not include everyone needing some mental health help!

Couldn't agree more with what JD said. You sound like an achiever in both your career and your personal battles.

I am on disability, and tho I have never been called disabled, I wonder how I would react. I have Bipolar type1 with rapid cycling and psychosis. I would not divulge this info to anyone irl.

Although to look at me I appear perfectly normal, I really cannot be a single mom to three, deal with this illness, and hold onto a job all at the same time. I admit when people ask where I work, I joke and say I'm retired and such. I think it would be nice to be able to be honest and say I am disabled. With out the judgement I'm sure that would follow.

I guess I just wish disabled and mental illness were not such dirty words, let alone 'psychosis'.

[dragonfly2]

Wow, that was quite presumptuous of her, and I might even say a little condescending. I sort of see it in three stages:

Anyone who uses mental health services would be considered a "consumer"...

When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I then had a "disability"...

But it wasn't until my "disability" prevented me from working that I became "disabled".

Does that make sense?